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MSNBC Leaks McCain Vice-Presidential Pick
MSNBC is reporting that John McCain has finally picked his running mate, and that it will be former Republican presidential nominee Robert Dole.
Concern about his image as an older candidate helped solidify McCain's choice. "He wanted a vice-president that would make him look young and robust," said a top McCain adviser who wished to remain anonymous because he had not yet been authorized to announce the Republican nominee's pick.
The McCain Camp is believe to have chosen a new slogan for the campaign: "McCain/Dole 2008: 150 Years of Experience!"
Said another adviser, "With McCain and Dole speaking together with one voice, terrorists will know America is serious when it says, 'Get off my lawn!'"
Comments (50)
LOL!
August 28, 2008 12:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hate-speech is so funny!
Just imagine some old person blubbering at Putin "Get off my lawn!"
"Weak and stupid" just about sums it up for that demographic!
Best of all, this opens up a whole rainbow of humor for the so-called "liberal" blogosphere!
Didja hear the one about the Jew and the Negro who walk into a Polish bar and...
August 29, 2008 9:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hah!
Good to see you again, Allsburg.
Coochie-coochie-coo!
August 28, 2008 1:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Careful Laura. Kids got some sharp ones comin' in.
August 29, 2008 12:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Old people! Aren't they hilarious, laurajordan!
Are oldsters as funny as Jews?
Are oldsters as funny as Negros?
Even better...
Are old people as funny as women?
Didja hear the one about the woman-driver who thought the "Yield" sign meant...
August 29, 2008 9:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Erectile dysfunction, meet electile dysfunction.
August 28, 2008 1:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Touchdown and 2-point conversion! Thanks.
August 28, 2008 5:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
McCain is funny because he's old!
Harharharharharhar!!!
Old people are so stupid!
But you know what would be even funnier?
Just imagine how incredibly funny it would be if a Negro or a "little woman" were running for President!
Wouldn't that be an infinite bonanza for hilarious hate-speech on the "liberal" blogosphere!
August 29, 2008 9:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
Too funny!
August 28, 2008 1:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Correction: The proper phrase is 'Get off my lawns'.
August 28, 2008 1:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
I knew this was fake going into it, but I had to see your punch line...
...and I'm glad it was cleverer than I imagined!
Thanks!
August 28, 2008 1:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Clearthinker thinks this post is "clever!"
Clever!
I call it genius, because who else but a genius could make hate-speech acceptable on the liberal blogosphere?
It gives me a great idea for a reality show where a bunch of ridiculous old people try to tie their shoes!
Harharharhar!!!!
For the second season, you have this bunch of Jews and Negros...
August 29, 2008 10:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
What is your problem?
August 29, 2008 10:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Duh?
August 29, 2008 10:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
Take a Xanax.
August 29, 2008 11:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
Recommended.
Thanks you the laugh.
August 28, 2008 1:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great! One starts sentences with "My friends" and the other starts sentences with his name. This will surely win over voters :-)
August 28, 2008 1:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
LOL. I love it.
Baby, welcome back. My, how you've grown. More handsome too.
August 28, 2008 2:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Cooler hat.
August 28, 2008 2:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hats never lie.
August 28, 2008 4:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Never trust anyone under 30 (months.)
August 28, 2008 7:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hell, I've got a couple of Panamas older than Allsburg. He's a good kid, but kinda wild. Him and that other kid comes around here stay up too late if you ask me.
August 28, 2008 8:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome. It would be great, because you know in just a few short weeks mcsenile would be calling himself Bob Dole and speaking in third person.
August 28, 2008 2:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
WOW! I literally LOL'd. NO - not the kind of LOL that you write after responding to another lolcat picture - no - but the hearty belly laugh that is generally reserved for watching athletes fall at the special Olympics.
BRAVO!
August 28, 2008 2:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
We love you, baby.
August 28, 2008 3:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Doesn't picking a veteran who was merely severely wounded in the line of duty undercut McCain's POWness?
August 28, 2008 3:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Because a single member of the presidential ticket over-playing the war veteran card is just not enough.
August 28, 2008 3:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or lawns, plural.
August 28, 2008 4:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
That last sentence, comedic gold.
August 28, 2008 4:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Was Ulysses S. Grant busy??!
August 28, 2008 4:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nope. He was hiding in Grant's Tomb, sleeping off a hangover.
August 28, 2008 4:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
While Grant was sleeping off that hangover, McCain queried George Armstrong Custer. However, Custer's vetting ran into a major snag. He was caught, red handed, with his pants down while travelling between Libby Custer's residence and Monaseetah's residence.
August 28, 2008 6:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bob Dole says get off of John's lawn!
August 28, 2008 4:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dole: Bob Dole says get off of John's lawn!
August 28, 2008 4:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dole: Bob Dole is grateful John McCain finally has a lawn, after all those years he spent in a cage in Hanoi, and Bob Dole wants you ungrateful, unpatriotic liberal kids to get off John McCain's lawn!
August 28, 2008 5:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
That would be "lawns". :-)
August 28, 2008 5:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey I've got an scathingly brilliant idea!!!!
Let's send that 9/11 Truther nutjob with the bullhorn over to John McCain's house. Do you think Dole and McCain could both scream "get off my lawns" over that crap?
Nice to see ya Allsburg, we need the humor around here :)
August 29, 2008 1:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dang whippersnapper kid commenters! Got no respect fer yer elders! You never had to blog on the back of a shovel with a piece of coal like Bob Dole and John McCain! Why I oughta....(falls asleep)
August 28, 2008 5:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
They could save money buying Depend and Cialis in bulk.
August 28, 2008 6:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR MCCAIN!!!
August 28, 2008 7:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
McMENTUM!!!!
August 28, 2008 7:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
idiotic! You're back again! Why do you keep us in such tenterhooks?
From my point of view, Dole would be a great VP. If we just look at it from the point of experience, if it is a McCain/Dole ticket we have 5,000 years of experience. Who cares that it is experience making bad decisions --> experience is experience, right? AM I RIGHT? AM I RIGHT?
Where the hell is the echo chamber I was promised?
Thanks, Alsberg, we needed this. Now I have to needle Ben to get back here. I promise to do it!
August 28, 2008 8:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Props for "tenterhooks"!
August 28, 2008 10:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
idiotic, you are baaack!! Yay!!!!! ;)
August 28, 2008 10:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
idiotic lives!
August 29, 2008 12:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Third in succession is Speaker of the House... President Pelosi, anyone? I think Dole would be a great choice!
August 28, 2008 9:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's true. With all the meds those two are on, they'll probably croak or go into a coma before the inaguration.
August 28, 2008 10:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heh ... I was thinking McCain-08 ("McEight") would choose McCain-00 ("McZero") as his running mate. After all, McZero holds opposite opinions to most of those of McEight. Plus, McZero can hold down the fort while McEight naps.
August 28, 2008 10:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dole-rolled.
August 29, 2008 1:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
Which one will get the Viagra endorsment deal?
Great humor, after watchind the Obama speech last night (from the top row at Invesco) this was a chuckle.
McCain can't touch Obama. And the rope on that tire swing is getting frazzled.
August 29, 2008 9:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
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