Dear Barack,

You can sooooo flip this around on him.

He is comparing you to Britney and Paris.  He's not making fun of you or mocking you.  Mocking you is what Tim Pawlenty does when he brings a tire gauge to a press event. 

By running the celebrity ads, he isn't deriding your celebrity status.  Shoot, you're both celebrities.  McCain is saying both that he doesn't take you seriously, and that neither should anyone else.  You don't even matter.  He is positioning himself so that he is ingrained in people's minds as the serious candidate with 50 years of service to the country.  They are playing you as the flavor of the month that doesn't have anything substantive to say.  ("Obama?  Wasn't he in a boy band? ...Come on, where's your sense of humor?... I thought a celebrity like Barack Obama would have a sense of humor.")

When you respond that McCain is just "more of the same," that isn't really an argument.  Most people don't see him that way.  I think it comes off petulant... Like something a celebrity would say.  ("IF WE HAVE ONE MORE BUSH TERM I AM MOVING TO CANADA!!!")

You need to beef up your response (to paraphrase from James Carville, borrow one of Hillary's testicles).  I loved when yesterday you said that the Republicans seem to enjoy their ignorance.  That was brilliant, especially when Capt. I-can't-drive-a-message admitted that filling your tires was actually a good idea.  But we need more.

When he tries to paint you as a celebrity without any substance, tell America what he's doing.  He's talking down to them!  Tell him that the election is serious business that belongs on CNN, not E!.  Who is being the elitist now, pretending that Americans can't tell the difference between a U.S. Senator and a movie star?  Eating arugula isn't elitist (actually it's quite nutritious); talking down to the country is.

I think the celebrity ad gave you an opening:  One candidate insults Americans by dumbing down the election.  One candidate thinks bombing Iran makes for a hit song.  One candidate is disrespectful to his wife.  One candidate admits he doesn't understand the economy.  One candidate doesn't understand that it's good to have dialogue with your enemies.  One candidate doesn't understand the difference between Shia and Sunni Islam.  One candidate doesn't understand that working families are having trouble paying the bills, and that it has nothing to do with the Gas Tax.  One candidate doesn't understand that the psychological benefit from increased oil supply in 2030 wont have a material effect on gas prices today. 

One candidate... has been a celebrity since getting shot down over Vietnam 40 years ago and has used that to shelter himself from all criticism.  One candidate... may have been the better candidate in 2000, but doesn't understand the issues of the 9/12 world.