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How LOW Can the POW Go?
Having been a prisoner of war gives John McCain certain privileges as a candidate, and perhaps even some experience bearing on the presidency. But we haven't had that discussion yet. I think we will.
Sam Stein's piece in today's HuffPo is a good overview of how McCain uses his ex-prisoner of war status as a Linus blanket that's supposed to comfort voters and cover a multitude of his political sins.
But how low can McCain go? Let's flash forward to the second presidential debate on October 7, 2008:
"Good evening. I'm Tom Bwrokhaw and wehlchome to the hahllowed halls of Behlton University in Nashville, Tennessee, for the second of three debates between Pwresidential candidates Bawrack Obama and John McCkhain. This will be a town hall format with quehstions offered by members of our audience here. Senator McCkhain, by a toss of the coin, you have the fiwrst quehstion."
"Hello. My name is Celia Later, and Senator McCain, I would like to know why your wife Cindy actually plagiarized her cookie recipes and lied about not having a sister. Thank you."
"Well, my friends —"
"Oh. Actually two half-sisters."
"My friends —"
"Oh, and why she lied about Mother Teresa, too. Thank you."
"Is that all? You sound like, what, the fine print of a Democratic appropriations bill." (Audience laughs.) "Mm-hmm. No seriously, my friends, in answer to that long question, you are impugning the character of my wife. When you do that, you are calling my character into question. I spent five-and-a-half years in a cell in Vietnam without any cookies, and I can tell you, no cookies taste as good as American cookies when you've been deprived of them." (Applause.) "Mm-hmm."
"But I think she was asking about the whlies your wife tohld."
"Mr. Brokaw, or Bwrokhaw, or however you pronounce your name, you keep polishing this young, inexperienced senator's apple and have the nerve to criticize my record. Years and years of service to this country with — I had no cookies. None. My wife was just a poor heiress, with no real baking experience. How could she have any? She had no sisters — excuse me, no family. There was no one to teach her about having her servants make cookies. Or meeting religious celebrities like Mother Teresa. I am a proud American who will follow Barack Obama — pardon me, Osama bin Laden — to the Gates of Hell. I am proud of my country and I was a POW who lived every day without cookies, crosses or even the shape of an Oreo drawn in the dirt."
Comments (16)
Today's excuse of not knowing how many houses he has because he spent 5 years in one house, the Hanoi Hilton, was the oddest thing I have heard in a long line of odd things.
I read that when my class was doing their exercises and actually laughed out loud. Whoops.
Amazing...and don't you know the MSM is going to let McCain get away with it?
Ripper, this was priceless. I could actually see that exchange taking place.
Sick. Sick fucking world we live in.
August 21, 2008 5:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
McCain makes me sick, too.
August 21, 2008 5:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
The next question is from Helen Blazes from Charlottesville, Virginia.
Senator McCain, When you describe your health care proposals, which involve Health Savings Accounts you don't mention the fact that people who have conditions like high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma, or cancer can't get affordable health insurance without being in a group as you do with employer-provided policies.
Also, in order to pay for a serious illness or surgery with a savings account, you have to be paying into it for years; otherwise you will have to pay it all.
Do you realize that the main reason people in the US declare bankrupcy is because of health care costs, and most of those are people with insurance?
Response: When I was in the Hanoi Hilton I got really bad health care. My goal is to see that every American will get better care than I got when I was a POW. For 5 years! APPLAUSE!
But Senator (Helen Blazes is being dragged away from the mic) You didn't answer even ONE of my questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 21, 2008 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
But Senator (Helen Blazes is being dragged away from the mic) You didn't answer even ONE of my questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gotta fix that:
Quick cut to John McCain ad comparing Barack Obama to Justin Timberlake while Helen Blazes is being dragged away from the mic) You didn't answer even ONE of my questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 22, 2008 4:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
The next question comes from two gentlemen in the audience, David P. and Trey S., who ask "Senator, when are you leaving for the gates of Hell? Actually, sir, if you've known all this time how to catch Bin Laden and how to win wars, why did you divert us to Iraq? Why did you cheerlead just 2 days after 9-11, when Ground Zero was still burning, for attacking Iraq when they had nothing to do with 9-11?"
McCain: "Well, as you know, I was a POW and during my time as a POW I formulated this plan to attack Iraq to demonstrate that despite becoming a POW, I actually possess a brilliant military mind. I just happened to get shot down and while captured I spent a lot of time formulating my plan with a stick in the dirt, mapping out troop positions and crossing manuevers. But, my friends, when I came home from Vietnam, as a POW, I knew I would have to wait for years to implement my plan to attack a sovereign nation, occupy them endlessly under the guise of stopping communism, I mean the radical Islamic jihadi Muslim caliphate fatwa falafel, because we must win and victory is the success I never knew because I was a POW and like Richard Milhouse Nixon I do not want to be the first American President to lose a war on my watch in the proud 193 year history, I mean proud 232 year history, and like the great Gen. Curtis LeMay, I mean Vice-President Dick Cheney said, if Vietnam, I mean Russia, I mean Iran or Iraq wants to rattle their swords we'll bomb them back to the Stone Age, because P to the O to the W spells POW! My friends!"
August 21, 2008 6:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Now Ripper, my friend, you almost had me... It was that one small slip out of character that spoiled it.
I believe McCain would say “Democrat appropriations”.
I know it’s a small point, but hey, they never miss a chance to throw a dig.
You tried hard here, but do try to keep in mind their message is a subtle one.
August 21, 2008 9:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'll do better next time. Promise.
August 21, 2008 10:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
He'd probably subtly emphasize the "RAT" part...
August 22, 2008 5:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Didn't Tom Bwrokhaw star as the pweist who mawwied Pwincess Buttehcup and Pwince Humperdink in "The Princess Bride"?
August 22, 2008 12:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Do you have ... the wiing?"
August 22, 2008 12:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
POW. Privileged Old Windbag.
POW. Promoter Of Wars.
POW. Philandered On Wife.
POW. Pandering Oil Weasel.
POW. Protector Of Wealth.
POW. ?
Well you get the idea. Add your own more creative ones.
August 22, 2008 2:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
I've been using "Prisoner of Wealth" the past couple of days. I like it because it requires only one word to be changed, and it is right on the money about how he was out of control over his "housing" during the war, and continues to be as Mr. Cindy McCain.
August 22, 2008 4:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
I've been using "Prisoner of Wealth" the past couple of days. I like it because it requires only only the slightest change. That, and: "Mr. Cindy McCain" or "John Cindy McCain III."
August 22, 2008 4:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
I thought the first version didn't go through. Now I've revealed my editing process.
August 22, 2008 4:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Still not drinking coffee, but as I commented to someone elsewhere this afternoon, if I had been I would have snorted it on my keyboard.
Thanks for making an extremely depressing subject bearable with a touch of humor.
August 22, 2008 4:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
I posted on this issue in June.
He's been at it for more than 12 weeks. I guess the "I don't know how many houses ..." story was too rich for them to pass on. It scary that it has taken them so long.
August 22, 2008 5:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
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