Right now, the second and third "top headlines" on the Yahoo homepage read as follows:

-Obama: Patriotism means 'faith in one another as Americans'

-McCain: Patriotism is 'putting the country first' before all else

I did not read the articles. I refuse.

But I submit this as further evidence that we are all, in fact, in third grade. The teacher has just handed out the construction paper and asked the students to tell us all "what patriotism means to me."

You have ten minutes and if you finish early, please sit quietly at your desks and wait until the others are done. Then we'll have a snack and play some kickball.

There is so much evidence of this that I don't know where to start. Not just the inane flag lapel pin questions, or, for that matter, the entire ABC debate (the final one) between Obama and Clinton, but in all forms of national "journalism."

Anyone see the recent network interview with the Iranian official? (I believe it was the Foreign Minister, but I only caught a snippet.)

I sat aghast as the interviewer basically said "There's rumors Israel is considering an attack on your country. What will you do if they attack?"

What?!! This is journalism? Diplomacy? Now I didn't catch the whole thing and there might have been a more substantive discussion somewhere, but this was the "money question."

"Psst, that guy over there said he can kick your ass. What you gonna do about it?"

I'm not so sure this is an insult to Americans' intelligence. I'm starting to thing this kind of crap really resonates with the majority of people. Are they just giving the people what they want? I'm thinking they're TELLING the people what they want and THEN serving it up to them, all the while reassuring them that they are, in fact, "thinking for themselves."

So tell me, class, what does patriotism mean to you?

I'll start: Not answering fatuous, inane leading questions.