Greetings friends in Christ.  Throughout my years in the ministry I've had to deal with thousands of old people in my congregation and my community.  

As you might expect - dealing with them is a massive challenge.  They are obstinent, rude, hard of hearing, set in their ways, and - well - I'm just going to come out and say it - they smell funny.  I think it goes without saying that it’s much easier to just ignore them and allow them to burden society with their mere presence than to waste a whole afternoon listening to their mind numbingly boring stories about playing Kanasta or comparing the differences in denture cleaners.  Forgive me for saying it - but I think I’d rather spend eternity in hell than spend an afternoon listening to grandma wax nostalgic about the social structure of Shady Pines nursing home.   I don’t spend good money (out of my inheritance) on that overcrowded disease ridden facility to have to actually participate in her life.  Thank Jesus for that one.   

But friends, the elderly have finally banded together for something other than casino gambling or bingo night at the Elks lodge.  Yes - they have embraced racism with all their hearts (as shriveled up and disease ridden as those hearts may be).  They used to live in an era where you could be proud of whites only drinking fountains and didn’t have to look both ways before dropping the “N” word in public.   Those my friends were what you call the “Good ol’ days”.  No - now we live in an era of political correctness where pussy concepts like tolerance and understanding have turned us into a nation of namby pamby’s.  No wonder there are so many kids choosing the gay lifestyle - they’re indoctrinated with homo ideas like compassion for the struggle of the negro from the time they enter the Godless public education system.  But thanks to the idiot Democrat party nominating a black man for President - good old fashioned racism is making a major comeback.  And not a moment too soon if you ask me!

Now - we all know that the uneducated probably inbred (hey - inbreeding is in the bible so if it’s OK with God, it’s OK with me - how else could we get 6 billion people on earth from Adam and Eve) populations of States like West Virginia, Kentucky, and Texas are highly racist.  I mean - your self esteem has to come from somewhere - and when you live in a trailer, sport one hell of a mullet, and drive a beat up el camino, well, picking on the non racially pure in our society is just something you grow up doing.   But we expect racism from these folks.  We’d be very surprised and appalled if they didn’t burn a cross on their front lawn once in a while.

But the elderly did surprise us this time.   No longer are they just a burden to us - sitting around picking the hair that mysteriously sprouts from every orafice on their withered aged bodies.  No - with Fox News telling them that it’s OK to be racist again - they are a segment of the voting public that can no longer be ignored.  Just because we ignore them at every family holiday and church function for years - we now realize that we need their blind racial hated at the voting booth.  We need their blind racial hated at the bingo halls and the church socials and the emergency rooms, etc.  You see - our society looks down on the inbred hillbilly with a thick southern drawl who uses the word Jigaboo in public.  But if Grandpa calls a black person a watermelon eating pickaninny - we all just let him off with an “aaawww gramps - you racist ol’ coot”  But it’s the letting them off the hook that makes racism seem just a bit more socially acceptable.

And to make it even better - the Republican candidate isn’t just “the non black guy” - he’s an old asian hating racist himself.  Any man who will openly call his wife a cunt, call asians “gooks” and twice vote against giving Martin Luther King Jr. a national holiday is someone that the elderly can really get behind.  He hates gays, uses profanity on the senate floor - and is so senile that he changes positions more than he changes his depends undergarments.  In short - a perfect Republican President!  Praise Jesus!