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Our Clown in Afghanistan
The American idea of "foreign policy credentials" is an imbecile package tour of seventeen countries in seven nights and six days, so now there's yet another sound-bite photo-op American clown named Barack Obama runnning around Southwest Asia talking about how to "finish the job in Afghanistan," and all the Americans who happen to like this particular clown can't stop cheering for his plan to "finish the job in Afghanistan," as if we had a job in Afghanistan that anyone could ever finish...
But this particular clown thinks maybe two extra brigades will "finish the job" that an enormous Russian army never finished, and even the relatively intelligent British colonial generals never finished, and even Alexander the Great never "finished the job in Afghanistan," but Barack Obama thinks he can "finish the job in Afghanistan" with two more brigades, even though nobody in the universe has any idea what this particular job may be, or how anyone could determine when and if we ever "finished the job in Afghanistan," unless you realistically redefine "the job in Afghanistan" as killing every living thing in that god-forsaken country, and it's obviously way to much to expect that a clown like Barack Obama will notice that's the job we're actually doing, and it's obviously way to much to expect that a clown like Barack Obama will realize that maybe the Afghans don't want us to "finish the job in Afghanistan" because most of them understand that the only job we ever had in Afghanistan that anyone could ever finish is the job of killing every living thing in that god-forsaken country.
Meanwhile, the two or three Democrats who realize that our real job is killing every living thing in Afganistan can still claim that our clown Barack Obama is infinitely better than the psychotic Republican clown John McCain, and all three of those clever Democrats are absolutely right to support our clown Barack Obama against the psychotic Republican clown John McCain, because there's only room for one party in the first-row seats of this demented circus that used to be the United States of America, and unless the insane clown posse in those front-row seats includes Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, Americans may not enjoy the benefits of universal healthcare while our hillbilly hired guns "finish the job" of killing every living thing in Afghanistan.












Comments (17)
Thanks to the no-preview no-edit user interface here at TPMCafe, this essay exists for all eternity with a couple of screaming typos in the middle of it, which should be...
"...and it's obviously way too much to expect that a clown like Barack Obama will notice that's the job we're actually doing, and it's obviously way too much to expect that a clown like Barack Obama will realize that maybe the Afghans don't want us to "finish the job in Afghanistan"...
July 21, 2008 4:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
It may also be marginally worthwhile to mention that "this demented circus that used to be the United States of America" was supposed to be emphasized in boldface, for the benefit of anyone who wonders how a couple of clowns got to be major contenders for the Presidency.
July 21, 2008 4:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
C'mon, lighten up, the purpose of more troops in Afghanistan is to catch Osama in Pakistan, a clear goal the Russians and British and Macedonians didn't have.
July 21, 2008 4:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Catching Osama in Pakistan is about as realistic a goal as catching the Joker in Gotham City. Now we're sending an army nine thousand miles to catch one old man? Brilliant!
Whoever thought up that "goal" must have studied at the Batman School of Strategic Studies, where you can clean up the streets by catching the super-human villain.
Meanwhile, back in the real world, there are thousands of young muslim men ready to sacrifice their lives to wipe Israel off the map, and thousands more whose families have been slaughtered by our occupation of Iraq, and a thousand Osama's couldn't have made as many people hate us as our rogue armies in Afghanistan and Iraq, who are killing dozens of civilians every time they kill one "insurgent," and creating a hundred new insurgents for every one they kill.
The only clear outcome of our adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan has been the death of millions of muslims, and all we can hope for is more of the same, until we get out.
July 21, 2008 5:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
i guess i needed smilies on my comment, but still, lighten up. the "death of millions of muslims" is hyperbole as are some of your other statements.
July 21, 2008 8:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
The best estimate of the number of Iraqis killed by the American occupation is 1,200,000. Add in another 500,000 children killed by American sanctions in 1992-2002, and you'll realize that "millions of muslims" killed by the United States isn't really an exaggeration.
July 21, 2008 8:32 AM | Reply | Permalink
Lancet numbers have been completely discredited. Come out of the cold, you're shivering.
July 21, 2008 8:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
Neither the Lancet's estimate or the later study by ORB have been "discredited" by anybody, and no one who understands the methodology doubts that those are the best estimates we have.
I wonder why you don't have a link to support your stupid slur...
July 21, 2008 8:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
Maybe my previous comment was too harsh and personal, but genocide isn't a subject to bullshit about without doing a little research. According to the best estimates, the USA is commiting genocide in Iraq, and denying it is about as respectable as denying the Jewish Holocaust.
July 21, 2008 8:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
If Obama's call for two extra brigades makes him a clown, what does McCain's call for three extra brigades make him?
July 21, 2008 9:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
McCain is a psychotic clown, in contrast to Obama, who's just a manipulative, hypocritical clown. Didn't you bother to read my blog before commenting?
..."our clown Barack Obama is infinitely better than the psychotic Republican clown John McCain..."
July 21, 2008 10:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
Jacob, you don't have a nanoliter of rational argument in your post.
Finishing the job in Afghanistan oly requires "killing every living thing in that God-forsaken country" if you believe that all Afghans are Taliban or al Qaeda sympathizers, which is patently false.
Your point eludes me, unless it is simply to take another pot shot at Obama. You're on another bender paid for by McTrolls incorporated. Please consult with Andrew Perez to coordinate your GOP smears.
July 21, 2008 10:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, Ripper, you have been the single point of sanity on this post.
July 21, 2008 11:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
Obama is willing to fund and continue genocide to get himself elected, and all the Obamabots can say is "Troll, troll, troll!!!"
But if idiots like "Ripper McCord" could understand anything more complicated than an eight-letter slogan ("Yes we can."), they wouldn't be supporting a hypocritical slob like Obama in the first place.
July 21, 2008 1:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wrong, asshole. Putting more troops into Afghanistan will save lives because more troops allow for greater precision in targeting. For Christ's sake, find out something about military tactics before you shoot off that pie hole.
July 22, 2008 1:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
That's probably why American casualties increased 40% in the last year and Afghan civilian casualties increased 60%, while we increased troop strength all over Afghanistan.
But high-school jerk-offs like Ripper McCord think military strategy reduces to "more troops is better," and he's exactly the kind of pin-head who believes anything his sociopathic Messiah Barack Obama tells him.
July 22, 2008 6:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
Is this the same hunch-back "Ripper McCord" who used to hang around the Greyhound bus station in Baltimore, rubbing his hump up against undercover vice cops and asking for a taste of "the real Obama?"
But there is no "real Obama."
July 22, 2008 8:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
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