As an economist, I get all manner of special documents that a non-economist would not be privy to.  I received the following communique yesterday explaining President Bush's lifting of the off-shore oil ban.  I have every confidence that once you all read this document you will understand the importance of his actions.  I'm told the all capital letter format means it is especially important.

DEAR SIR,

HAVING CONSULTED WITH MY COLLEAGUES AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM INTELLENCE SOURCE INSIDE THE NIGERIAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY, WE RECEIVED A REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE IN THE TRANSFER 47,500,000,000.00 BARRELS OF OIL INTO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THE ABOVE CACHE OF OIL RESULTED FROM AN OVER-INVOICED CONTRACT, EXECUTED COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS (5) AGO BY A CHINESE CONTRACTOR. THIS ACTION WAS HOWEVER INTENTIONAL AND SINCE THEN THE OIL HAS BEEN IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT AT THE CENTRAL HOLDING FACILITY OF NIGERIA - APEX OIL.

THE NIGERIAN MINISTRY IS NOW READY TO TRANSFER THE OIL OVERSEAS AND THAT IS WHERE WE COME IN. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT AS CIVIL SERVANTS, OUR NIGERIAN CONTACTS ARE FORBIDDEN TO OPERATE A FOREIGN ACCOUNT; THAT IS WHY ASSISTANCE IS REQUIRED. THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: 50% FOR US, 50% FOR YOU AND 5% FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER.

AN ECONOMIST WITH THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC) ASSURES US THE TRANSFER IS RISK FREE ON BOTH SIDES. TO ACCOMPLISH THIS GOAL THE NIGERIAN CONTACT REQUIRES THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:

(A) THE FEDERAL RESERVE TELEPHONE, ACCOUNT AND FAX NUMBERS.

(B) DRILLING PERMITS TO OIL RESERVES IN ALASKA AND AREAS OFF THE COAST OF NORTH AMERICA

(C) OFFICIAL US GOVERNMENT LETTER-HEADED PAPER STAMPED AND SIGNED.

ALTERNATIVELY THEY HAVE OFFERED TO  FURNISH US WITH THE TEXT OF WHAT TO TYPE INTO YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER, ALONG WITH A BREAKDOWN EXPLAINING, COMPREHENSIVELY WHAT WE REQUIRE OF YOU. THE BUSINESS WILL TAKE US THIRTY (30) WORKING DAYS TO ACCOMPLISH.

PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

BEST REGARDS,

YOUR GOVERNMENT