So, there you are.  You have a special rant about the US Government you need to get off your chest.  Rather than bug your co-workers in a needless political discussion -- besides, you already know you are correct, don't you? -- why not spread your love to the people who might actually be able to do something about it?

Yes, this is a blog designed to help send your special missive to your elected officials in a way to generate the maximum amount of attention as possible (short of a death threat, which isn't advisable, of course).   These tips are gleaned from personal experience with members of Congress (both sides of the aisle) and their staffers.

For starters, phone calls as a way of influencing the opinion of your elected official are pointless unless they (or the staffer who picks up) know you personally or you represent a powerful lobby.  Or work in Hollywood.  Actually working in Hollywood isn't enough, you actually have to be a celebrity.  Reality shows don't count.  So save the phone calls for when you know the staff personally and you are working on a specific issue with them.

I wouldn't even know how to send a telegram to Congress, although if you figure it out, the sheer novelty may actually get it passed around the staff -- for the wrong reasons.  Look!  A cool letter WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS STOP.

What does that leave us?  Snail mail, email, and faxes.  There are some common elements, several are addressed in this generic primer.  Pay particular attention to the form of addressing your elected official.  Sometimes it hurts to address them as "The Honorable"... but do it!  Also recognize that the term "Congressman/woman" is not preferred.  In writing, use the gender neutral "Representative", save the Congressman/woman for when you are talking to them in person.  (It can happen!)

Writing to Congress via snail mail is not only so 20th century, since 9/11 it is debilitating.   Mail can take 3-4 weeks to get Congress because of anthrax monitoring. Longer if it is a package.  Much longer.  Even Congress moves faster than the USPS + screening.   Your issue may be resolved or dead by the time the staffer even sees the letter.  If it makes you feel better, by all means, write your heart out in this manner. But use a quill to remind yourself how effective this technique will be in the 21st century.

Which brings us to that most ubiquitous form of 21st century communication.  No, not text messages. Unless you happen to know your elected official's personal cell phone.  In which case, you probably have better access anyway.  Assuming that the elected official even knows how to text.

I speak, instead, of email.

Here's the fact:  Congress doesn't take emails from the public.  Their staffers do and, if you are very lucky, you might find out the staffers' email addresses because they write to you. (If this happens consider yourself lucky that you got someone's attention.)

No, electronic communication for Congress consists of text box fill-in forms on elected official's website.   In other words, you are limited to a certain number of characters, you don't end up with a record of what was sent (how convenient), and you don't get an editor (or, often, even a preview panel).

In other words, it's like submitting something to TPM.

Only worse.

Because in addition to the letter, you are given a Chinese menus of "topics" that the letter falls under (e.g. Homeland Security, Iraq War, Energy, etc.)  In other words, it's sort of like the "Muckraker" or "Election Central" boxes on TPM.

So maybe it is like submitting something to TPM.

How unfortunate!

Why the Chinese menu?  Because you are sending the letter to the specific staffer on that particular topic.  And that staffer will handle the letter.  But, what happens if your letter doesn't fit into one of the pre-defined bins?

I think you know this one.  You hit the "other" box.  Which means your special rant ends up who-knows-where.  Which probably means it will be read after all the other web emails where people were kind enough to limit their issue to ones the elected official thought were important.

Is that any way to treat your special rant?

In addition, Congress tends to look at web emails like phone calls.  Perhaps because it comes over the phone lines.  Who knows?  But email, despite the fact you actually had to type it, doesn't have the same weight of written correspondence.  After all, email is sent via the ether which has no weight at all.

So, how to combine written correspondence with modern communication?  Go back to the 80s with that new fangled fax technology.  This is the communication form you want to use.  Trees had to die for you to get that note to Congress -- and so the elected official takes notice.

Please understand that this rule applies to all members of Congress -- even the environmentally conscience ones.  They love paper.  That's what they push in Washington.  Even the environmentally conscience ones.  Give'em what they want.  They might just return the favor.

So, a fax is the best way of getting the staff's attention, and it's therefore the best way of getting the elected official's attention. Of course, the staffer will dutifully log the fax and they will figure out what staffer to route it to.  But because all faxes have to be given thought in the routing, you know your letter won't end up in the dreaded "other" pile.

Okay.  So, you will go fax Congress.  Now, who to fax?

Strictly speaking, you have only 3 choices:  your two Senators and your Representative.  Go for all of them.  A dead tree will certainly produce 3 sheets of paper.  Why write a letter to your Representative after the House has voted?  Well, at least you can register which way they should think about something in the future.

Besides, you already wrote a nice little rant.  Wouldn't you like to share it with a 50% bigger audience.

Note to self:  make sure to stay ahead of the issues, however.   Try to write before the votes rather than after. 

Note, however, if you are not a constituent, the elected official won't care about you.  Nothing personal, but let's be honest:  They don't care about you anyway -- accept to get your vote on the next go around.  And for that, you need to be in their district.  So they will make exceptions for their constituents, pesky individuals though they be.

If you send a letter to a member of Congress who doesn't represent you, it will be tossed.  Well, except if it has a death threat, but we already ruled out that as a possible topic of the letter.  So don't waste your time.  Don't make trees die for no reason at all.

Now there is an exception to this rule:  you can write to any member of Congress who is playing a certain role in what you are bringing to their attention.  For example, suppose you have an issue with -- oh, I don't know -- a privacy bill being looked at in the Senate.   So in addition to writing to your elected officials, you might also write the leaders and ranking members of the Senate Intelligence Committee (in this case John D. Rockefeller, IV who is the Democrat and Christopher Bond who is the Republican).

If the Bill were in the House, not only would you write the ranking members of the appropriate House Committee but also any Representatives of the Committee from your state.  I have known this trick to work -- you might think they toss it out, but occasionally, they assume you are dumb and didn't know who your Representative was and will pass it onto your Representative ("Hey, your dumb constituent sent me this letter, but I think it's meant for you") and now you have your Representative's Office looking at a piece of paper given to them by another Representative.  How much more attention do  you think that will give that piece of paper?

Almost worth a tree's life at that point.

Hey, did you notice something?  I told you to send your special rant to both parties.  That's right.  You may hate your elected official, but guess what?  You are stuck with him until the next election.  At least make him work for you.  You can even pretend you will vote for him.  Why not?  Not only will you get a good feeling that you got this person -- whom you detest -- to do your bidding, you will secretly try to take their job away at the first chance you get!  That's two good feelings for the price of one!

Of course, if you like your elected official, you can still make it look like you will vote for them.

In other words, make promises that you may or may not keep.  People in Congress are used to this type of behavior.  They invented it.

Okay, so now you know what to send (a fax) and who to send it to.

What about content?

This is even more important.

Never, ever send more than about 1 page of written material.

That's an important point.  Let me repeat so it looks important:

Never, ever send more than about 1 page of written material.

Nice.  It looks really important now.

What do I mean by written material?  I mean the actual guts of the letter, after you get done with all the 'Honorable' stuff  that made you lose your lunch when you wrote it.

The very first sentence should state

a) why you are writing to them ("... because you are my Senator..." or "... I am writing to you as chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee..."

and

b) what you are writing about

That's all in the first sentence.   Do you know why?  Unless you are a brilliant writer (and you aren't), no one will read the whole letter to figure out what you are writing about.

In Washington, the trick is to get the piece of paper away from  you as quickly as possible.  So tell them which staffer to give the piece of paper to.  In the first sentence.  Because if you don't tell them, the waste basket may get too close to the fax machine and ... whoops!

Okay, sentence number 1 down.  What next?  Why sentence number 2! And here is the subject of Sentence 2:  write the summary point.  How do you stand on the issue?

This letter to Congress isn't great literature.  Don't make it a mystery novel where they have to get to the end to understand the beginning.  It's a thumbs up or thumbs down issue.  Make it easy for them to figure out what side you are on.  Because they may get confused with all your justification -- and decide you feel differently about the issue than you do!

Now for the middle bit.  Through in some clever arguments.  Maybe even a precedent.  How about something historical?  Hey, the more educated you look, the more you look like you can give large dollars to their next campaign.  They like that!  But don't get cute and sarcastic. Elected officials are many things, but they do have good memories about people who take the time to write in (remember the log book?)... and if you build an impression that you are always mouthing off, the protest has less teeth.  Besides, you aren't that funny anyway.  If you were, you'd be a paid comedian and then you'd be a celebrity and be able to call the elected official directly.  (See above.)

Also, remember to include your name, phone number, and email address on the letter.  Make it easy for them to get in contact with you.  If you get a call from a staffer or a field officer, congratulations!  You are now talking to the most important person in the elected official's office.   Because the dirty secret is that the staffers do nearly all the work, the elected official is more like the front man.  Think of it this way:  if you had a problem with your computer, would you rather a call back from the Chief Engineer of the manufacturer, or the CEO?

Each letter that Congress gets is assumed to represent some number of like-minded constituents.  Because when you actually have to take this kind of effort, you are feeling pretty strongly about something.   And Congress does take these letters seriously.  (Did I say letters?  I meant faxes... always send faxes!)

Lastly, do not expect a response from your fax, you almost never get one.  But if you have done your job correctly, the correspondence will at least be in the right place with an appropriate weight.  It may just influence your elected official.  And doesn't it feel good to know that you are exercising your political voice?  At least until the next election, when that same official may just need you to help keep their job!

Please recommend this post to give it the maximum amount of exposure and bookmark it the next time you have a special rant that you would like to share with those public servants who go to Washington to represent you.