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The Father's Day Speech: My Reflections as a White Boy
As I watched Obama's Father's Day speech, speaking powerfully against the backdrop of a fully African American choir, I could not help but think: could Obama inspire poor blacks in poverty to rise above such standards, to rise above such a life?
Yes, this is a completely loaded question, and in a way rhetorical. I don't know if I can, or should, even answer such a question.
And yet, this question inadvertently popped up in my mind while watching his speech. Obama is a truly inspiring figure, to people of all walks of life. But one group that Obama (not surprisingly) has really hit something special with are African Americans. These black students can explain the sentiment better than I, a white boy, can.
That inspiration, that enthusiasm, resounds so deeply, it seems, that Obama could shape the African American community for years, and even generations, to come.
Obama spoke about the struggles many blacks face today at the hands of poverty,
He goes on to talk about the personal responsibility people have as parents (and especially fathers) to their children, to set "examples of excellence" for their children. Sure, you have a job. But you can get a better one. Sure, you get B's in school, but isn't there a grade higher than that? Always strive for more.But if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that what
too many fathers also are is missing – missing from too many lives and
too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like
boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker
because of it.You and I know how true this is in
the African-American community. We know that more than half of all
black children live in single-parent households, a number that has
doubled – doubled – since we were children. We know the statistics –
that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely
to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out
of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are
more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or
become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community
are weaker because of it.
He said,
That’s why we pass on the values of empathy and kindness to ourWhen did the black community last have a true representative to say such things? A true representative that black children could look up to, could be inspired by? Obama, I believe, is that representative. And I believe that with Obama to set the stage, blacks suffering from poverty, violence, and hardship, can perhaps feel a motivation and inspiration they haven't felt in years, if ever. Perhaps that inspiration that Obama seems to magically elicit can help push them forward. I don't know.
children by living them. We need to show our kids that you’re not
strong by putting other people down – you’re strong by lifting them up.
That’s our responsibility as fathers.
Perhaps I don't even have a true right to speak of such things as the white boy that I am. Obama has influenced me to do things I never would have before (I am more involved in politics than ever before, and I even scraped together money to donate to him, for example, where I never had felt the desire to before). As a white boy who has been so inspired by Obama, I can only imagine how so many in the black community must feel.
I'll finish with this small story. Recently I was spoke with a very good friend of mine who happens to be black. I was curious, having never really thought of asking before then, and inquired, "why do you support Obama?" she smiled and said, "he's my people." Some may find such a sentiment racist in nature. I find it genuinely inspiring.











Comments (22)
"More than half" of all black children today are being raised by a single parent. "More than half."
That fact, alone, just blows my mind.
It was a great speech and it needed to be said. I enjoyed watching/listening to all 23+ minutes of it, and I enjoyed watching the reactions from the choir. They must think like I do, because they stood up and cheered every time I did.
June 15, 2008 11:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
You're quite right.
You're an awesome person, Lis. I always enjoy reading your posts and comments. =)
June 15, 2008 11:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Aw shucks. You're gonna make me turn redder than I already am in my avatar, you.
I enjoy your posts too.
June 15, 2008 11:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Haha! Thanks.
June 15, 2008 11:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
I agree, LisB is the shizzz!
And thanks Chrono, I am also a proud supporter of Obama that happens to be white and I couldn't be more pleased that there is a role model that people of color and especially Black Americans can relate to on a visceral level.
I read his speech and saw the beautiful photo of him and little Sasha and felt all warm and happy. I made sure I told my own father that I loved him as well today.
I hope fathers of all hues were inspired and take heed of his wise words. I really feel that Obama is "my people" too :)
June 16, 2008 12:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
I wonder what John McCain said today? Was it something about staying in Iraq?
Such a contrast.
June 16, 2008 1:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
I didn't see a single thing about John McCain giving a speech. I don't know if he did give one.
June 16, 2008 3:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
It was a fantastic sermon/speech by the Senator.
Posting this took some balls, Nathan. While I greatly appreciate your sentiment, let me offer this rejoinder: as a Black man, I think it's wonderful that Barack Obama is telling the shiftless among us to get off their asses and start being fathers. However, I don't necessarily agree that there's a need for Blacks to have a "representative" that says such things.
The fact that I can attribute the adjective "lucky" to my family's story, which is filled with examples of positive fatherhood, says volumes about the state of Black fatherhood in America. And while I certainly find it encouraging that a public figure such as Obama casts aside the shackles of self-victimization despite having been abandoned by his father, I regard his words as an echo in a chamber filled with many, many voices calling our young Black men to be responsible in fatherhood. We've had "representatives" for years in this regard - pastors, community leaders, and the very fathers themselves that set a great example for us all. Not all of them have been as famous as Barack Obama now is, but they've been there.
While not a father yet myself, I've learned the trade from the men in my family, and I know there are many brothers out here who can attest to the same. Most of us are out here doing the job. Like most things in America, it's the negative aspect of the situation that gets the most public attention. But the point of Obama's speech today that was most salient to me was not the "representatives" of a better tomorrow for Black children need to be the fathers of those children. It truly does start in the home, and Obama sees that. More than his being a town crier on the subject, Obama's true relevance is in the fact that he will be, Lord willing, in a position come January to be more of practical value than symbolic.
June 16, 2008 3:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Posting this took some balls, Nathan.
Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. I'll admit that I was extremely hesitant to post it, but now I'm glad I did.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I admit that perhaps, as an outsider to the black community, it is hard for me to, well, imagine what it's like on the inside.
But I could not help but wonder what kind of real positive image Obama is setting for African Americans all over the nation, and what kind of positive impact that could have. One can't help but hear people say things like, "all the famous role models these kids have are cracked up gangsta rappers" (whether that's a fair assessment or not, I know I've heard it more often than I'd like to).
But it's true; many of the role models, and the idols, that black youths have to look up to today are athletes, musicians and actors. Celebrities in that Hollywood sense. Where are the figures in Government and politics for blacks, that whites like myself can so easily find? I guess I see Obama as providing something that I find lacking. Perhaps my perception is wrong, and I admit that it could be. In fact, I'd rather it would be.
June 16, 2008 1:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
I didn't get a chance to see the speech, and as a childless suburban white chick, I don't feel I'm likely to bring any brilliant insights to the issue. However, I want to comment on this:
This encapsulates a lot of what I love about Obama. This is the message that our country needs. We've had all these years of Bush bullying, where it's all about tough-guy swagger instead of real strength. We need to see real strength in action, and we need to remember always that real strength is for lifting up, not holding down.
June 16, 2008 2:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
thank you Nathan, for posting; and thank you Scientific for distilling Obama's beautiful and uplifting thoughts into the lovely phrase, "it starts in the home."
I too admit to tears in listening - as so often happens these days when I hear this fine man speak. Then I called my dad.
June 16, 2008 2:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Barack's speech was terrific and inspiring, but not new. The message in his speech has been conveyed in many different ways by many different people within the African American community.
What's different is, given his platform more people outside the community are aware that some African Americans recognize the importance of self responsibility, personal accountability and the value of the family unit.
While the Barack as a "role model" angle, for African Americans does have merit, I think we need to be careful not to over play that perspective. In my opinion that view narrows his political scope, and limits his symbolic appeal to those of us who are African American or those empathetic to our experince as a community in this country.
In considering Barack's candidacy from a purely symbolic perspective, the big picture is he represents the tremendous opportunity of America. All Americans can get behind a narrative that speaks to it's core beliefs- the value of hard work, sacrafice, fairness, love of god and country etc, etc....
If Barack can get the country to see that his story is emblematic of the promise that America holds for ALL, he will inspire ALL Americans not just African Americans and become the next POTUS.
June 16, 2008 2:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
In considering Barack's candidacy from a purely symbolic perspective, the big picture is he represents the tremendous opportunity of America. All Americans can get behind a narrative that speaks to it's core beliefs- the value of hard work, sacrafice, fairness, love of god and country etc, etc....
This is certainly true, which is why I felt that, though I am white, I can relate to the kinds of feelings and sentiments that Barack evokes. I simply feel that such feelings and sentiments must run so much deeper, and must resonate so much stronger, with African Americans.
Let us also not forget that, though his skin is darker than mine, and though he identifies with the black community, of which I am not a part of, Barack is really as white as he is black.
I truly feel that, in many ways, he is the bridge that this country has been missing in its idea and understanding of the gap between black and white. I hope that, through Barack, we can all, all of us Americans, can come to a better understanding of what such things mean in this country.
June 16, 2008 3:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
I want to point out that Barack also talked about structural and policy changes that need to happen in order to make it more possible, probable and likely that poor african-american men can stay with their families and be better parents.
Obama's perspective unlike say, Bill Cosby's, is one that takes into account both sides of the equation -- personal responsibility and progressive policies that effectively address the real, structual barriers to poor blacks.June 16, 2008 3:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
exactly, Yldoow - and Obama also siad that the government must address a problem known to struggling recipients of child support - when they are on welfare, the support funds do not go to the parent and child but to reimburse the bureacracy that has given out just enough [maybe] to keep parent and kids from starving.
Given how ridiculously low is the threshold considered 'above' the level of poverty, it is our governments' shame that they are staying solvent on the backs of our poorest children of broken marriages.
It is an intractable problem - after all the feds take from the states who are then starved for funds. So the systemic problem -including undercollected corporate tax and other uncollected taxes has a ripple effect extending to the most vulnerable is so many ways.
But to date I have never heard any politician who was in a position to effect change ever address this in public as an issue to even be considered. [perhaps I missed it being addressed by Hillary, and if so, my apologies in retrospect]
June 16, 2008 4:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think we are in violent agreement..... Your post was well written and completely on point. As an African American Barack's candidacy does resonate with me in an extremely personal way..
Barack is both Black and White, my point is that the more we focus on his accomplishment as the first African American to be in this position, and what that means specifically for African Americans the more we seem to narrow the achievement as an accomplishment for a specific segment of the population.
On the other hand if we highlight what this means to America's progress as a nation; living up to it's principles, proving that in America all things are possible for all people, by default African Americans given our history in this country will feel more of a sense of pride, actually having visible proof that we are recognized as fully capable citizens like everyone else.
At the end of the day I am voting for Barack not because we are both African American but because I agree with him on the issues, to be clear I never voted for Al Sharpton or Alan Keyes.
Barack's racial identity is just the icing on the cake, and to the point of your post it's DAMN sweet icing to the Souls of Black folk......
June 16, 2008 4:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think we are in violent agreement..... Your post was well written and completely on point.
Thank you so very much. I cannot express the gratitude I feel for your responses.
And you make such a brilliant point when you say that we cannot simply think as Barack's accomplishments as specific to African Americans. His accomplishments are affirmations of the foundation of this nation, and affirmations to all Americans, of every race, color, creed and walk of life, that we as a people, and we as a nation, can always raise the bar.
June 16, 2008 5:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, Obama was doing a little Sister Souljahing there. Which, as a black man and a longtime South Side community organizer, he's qualified to do. It's hard to argue with the statement that too many poor black kids grow up without fathers (as Obama himself did). But for an external audience, he's basically dumping on poor black folks to show that he's tough enough, just like Bill Clinton eighteen years ago. And nobody ever dumps on all those negligent working class white daddies, of which there are plenty.
This rankles me a little. Not that he's wrong, but it's exploitative. It's what conservatives say about black poverty to avoid having to address the moral failure we all bear, so they don't have to contemplate social programs or all the economic disincentives to building strong, stable families that working class blacks in the inner city, whose sharecropper grandparents probably migrated North for jobs and got left high and dry when the jobs went away, face. It's all well and good that the high-minded upwardly mobile black politician should moralize about the failings of black people. But it pisses me off that he's doing it to reassure me, middle class whitey, that he's tuff enuff on his people to keep 'em from mutinying on us.
June 16, 2008 5:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nathan, wonderful post.
This is slightly off topic but I wanted to share some background information that may or may not shed some light on the issues plaguing the African American Community.
Imagine for a moment a man that while not married to the woman has 2 children with her. They eventually part ways and he has to pay child support. He doesn't make a lot of money and the mother makes even less. Imagine bringing home say 2000 per month and your child support is 750. That leaves this man
June 16, 2008 5:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
1250 per month to live on. Rent/Mortgage, lights, gas, phone, car note, food and clothing has to come out of that. Now imagine this man is not able to see the children and if he is allowed there is constant conflict. I know so many black men who pay their child support but are barely scraping by. I know I know think about these things prior we all know that. But once the children are here and life takes it's turns there is anger and bitterness and sometimes men quit jobs and work "under the table" Just so they can eat.
June 16, 2008 6:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you.
And you are quite right. This is the issue Obama was highlighting. I don't think you're at all off-topic by mentioning it.
June 16, 2008 6:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I cant even touch this topic yet.
Unfortunately.
June 16, 2008 10:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
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