I feel sure that your moving story will bring a few "Hillary to McCain" migrants back to the Democratic fold. It's OK to indulge ourselves in identity politics for a while, but in November, it must be the issues we vote on, not the gender/race/primary history of the candidate. As you point out so vividly, there is much at stake.

Lis -

I teared up at your story. You get it. No judgement here either.

Lis, why would anyone be in any position to judge you?

No judgement here.

This took courage to share.

Wow. You are a braver woman than I will ever be.

NO Judgement from this Republican who is also an Christain Evangelical.More to the point I am disappointed than Judgemental

Been there, Lis.

(hugs)

No judgement here.

Lis - you always bring such a personal touch to TPM. I think you're more appreciated around here than you realize. Work on that "low self-esteem" because despite whatever flaws you may have - and we all have 'em - you also demonstrate some wonderful redeeming qualities.

Thanks for sharing this story with us.

Thanks for Sharing. No judgement here.

Each one of us have a story we so desperately want and need to share, you went first. Luv ya.

LisB: I am judgemental. I am very judgemental! And my judgement: I salute you for your courage, your thoughtfulness, and your doing what was right for you at a particular time and place in your life as your lights led you.

I have been a gay and women's rights activist for over 40 years. My materal grandmother (may she rest in peace) marched, was beaten and was jailed for advocating that women be given the vote.

When Roe v Wade was handed down, my adoptive mother (hereafter, mother) and I had a long conversation. You see, I was adopted as an infant. My biological mother (hereafter, Sharon) was 16 when I was born. By the time Roe came down, I was well informed of the complexities of the issue of reproductive rights and adoption. In the discussion with my mother, she said: "If abortion had been available to your biological mother, I might not have been your mother." By God's grace, my father walked into the room and I did not have to immediately respond to her. (Sometimes, God is VERY good). You see, my parents did not pursue adoption until after my mother had had 4 stillbirths, lost a son to leukemia at 6 months, and had more miscarriages than any of us of fingers and toes over a 12-yr period.

Hence, I knew I needed to carefully consider my mother's question, as well as the whole question of reproductive rights in its entire complexity. Several days later, my mother and I resumed our conversation. This is what I said: (1) Had Sharon terminated her pregnancy, I would have never been. (2) Had Sharon had legal access to contraceptives, I would have never been. (3) I am because of choices Sharon did not have and because of choices my adoptive parents had. (4) I have no regrets being my mother's son.

When I turned 40, my mother wrote in my birthday card, "... if you have any desire to find your birth mother, you have my blessing." For 2 years, I did not pursue that option. But, my mother asked me on my 43rd birthday whether I had done any seaching. I said, no. She said, you need to do it. So, I did.

At the age of 46 and half years, I finally met my biological mother. Sharon was greated grieved by having given me up. The bullshit her parents put her through was enormous. My mother and Sharon met 3 months later. My mother, a women who had lost children, was so gracious and grateful to my Sharon. Sharon was grateful just to know I was OK. Both found peace in each other. 9 months later, my mother died with both me and Sharon at her bedside.

Sharon has never tried to be my "mother." But, she is a good friend. We do have history together.

Like all true stories, nothing ever ends "happily ever after." You see, for more than a half century I have had to deal with the scars of being taken away from my biological mother, to having to deal with never feeling like I quite fit. This is not to diminish either my mother or Sharon. I have no problem with dealing with tough shit. However, do not buy into the wacky rights utopian view of adoption.... it is not utopia. This is just to say that infant adoption is not without costs, especially for the child.

Do I wish I were aborted? No. Do I wish I were carried to term? No. In other words, there is no simple answer.

Another angle, my Aunt Rita committed suicide at the age of 22 when she was 4 months pregnant because, had she not, my paternal grandfather would have literally killed her. She was Catholic and he was Protestant. Under my grandfather's rubrics, the two could never marry.

Let us be real about the so-called pro-lifers. Only half of their energies are about abortion... the other half is about denying contraception to women and men (they hate Griswold as much as Roe), denying them autonomy over their lives and bodies, about denying every American automony over their lives and bodies in the name of a false god.

There is nothing in the Judeo-Christian theological tradition about abortion until the 20th century even though it was a common medical practice for over 6,000 years. The anti-choice stance of the wacko religious right (protestant and catholic) was a new creation of the 20th century when both divisions of the Christian tradition realized they were losing power over their adherents sex lives.

Anyway, LisB, kudos to you.

I judge you ... as brave and thoughtful. Exactly the qualities that McCain '08 wants to crush.

LisB, a wonderful story for two reasons (aside from the brave decision to tell your story as a unifying focus):

1. Your pregnancy was not the result of carelessness or a desire for a boutique child or any of the derogatory reasons those right-to-lifers ascribe to the motivation for an abortion.

2. You were no spring chicken (meant nicely) and made your own reasoned mature decision. Why should women serve as baby farms for those who want to adopt the perfect child? There are zillions of children who do need adoption and will never be considered.

I recall that Roe v. Wade came shortly after the New York legislature made abortion legal -- by one vote for a representative who lost re-election. I think that was the kick-start of a national movement to make abortions legal. Then Roe V. Wade intervened and the movement withered to one now conducting holding actions.

Just as this country has changed tremendously with regard to contraception, oral and anal sex, homosexuality, racism, and sexism, I think this country has also changed in its attitude towards abortion. If Roe v. Wade were overruled, most state legislatures would immediately make abortions legal. Those states that resisted (you know who you are) would become the focal points for an enraged woman's movement for individual choice and its concomitant dignity. Representatives who voted to ban abortions outright would face extremely hostile voters the next election, as charged up (or more) as today's fundamentalists.

I also imagine that organizations would spring up nationwide to provide financial and psychological support for those women in states without legal abortions. Women would be transported, housed, and fed, and would pay according to their means. Indeed, the overturning of Roe v. Wade might be a tremendous boost to women's rights and powers.

Or I could be full of *hi*.

I've long been a closet LisBian, reading nearly everything she writes, and hats off to pgbach for her story. Like any reasonable adult, I'd like to see the number of abortions minimized, which includes responsible contraception education, but I don't for a second believe it's within my rights to dictate to a woman what she can or can't do with her own body.

These two women are among the reasons I regularly visit TPM--articulate posters, articulate responders.

Thank you for your bravery and your honesty.

One reason (among many) that I remain pro-choice is so that women can make these painful decisions without interference from the state. I would have been one hundred percent behind you no matter what you decided.

I'm so frustrated when talking about abortion to friends who are anti-legal abortion. There are so many stories like yours--where in the end you can only respect the decision made and salute a woman's courage--and you can't just say that your choice boiled down to a black/white, wrong/right dichotomy. I think that's true for every woman who chooses abortion.

You are very brave. Thank you for sharing your story. It just strengthens my resolve to get Barack on the steps of the Capitol Building on January 20th at noon so he can take that hallowed oath.

LisB...Your story should be required reading for Mcbush and all his buddies. How they can have the arrogance to think that they should have rights over women's bodies amazes me. I just read the other day that there was going to be a demonstration against BIRTH CONTROL!!!
When I read your story, and I read the responses here, I have great faith that this country will be ok as soon as we have President Obama. We are coming back to our senses!!!

LisB, what a moving story. So moving that I'm making an exception and posting. I've been off TPM since sometime last week; people are taking too long to get over the primaries, and it's been too corrosive for my spirit, so I've been off the blogs here and moved over to The Field for more constructive discussions. I just come here to read the news, but I was caught by your headline.

I've never been pregnant; early on, after escaping from an abusive relationship, I decided that I never wanted so much as to live with a man again, and also decided that I was too crazy to raise a child. By the time I gave this a second thought I was well into my 30's and starting a legal career. By the time things settled down and I gave it a third thought I was 38 and had just started taking birth defect-inducing medications that I'll have to take for the rest of my life. If I went off of them to have children I was likely to screw my chances of having the drugs work if I then started them up again.

I'm now a middle-class lawyer and if I were to get pregnant I could pay to travel somewhere to get a safe abortion. But the fact that, if Roe were overturned, a woman my age and with my medical history would have to bring a baby to term is frankly horrifying

Also I am judgemental. My judgement is that you is one of the best word-smiths here around.
:-)
Beside being important, your piece is brilliantly written.

...Of course also I salute you for your courage and your thoughtfulness!

Lis, what an emotional post. peace....really inside your soul. tears...yes.....No one has the right to judge you. I just hope you can feel all of us hugging you ....all the time. Your very brave......a lot braver than I am. That is for sure.