This week talk of impeachment is building. Congressman Dennis Kucinich has stepped forward with official articles. As much as I love him, Kucinich simply doesn’t command serious attention (dude had a religious experience involving a UFO in Shirley MacLaine’s backyard… sounds like an SNL sketch, doesn’t it?). However, with the accusation of war crimes by General Antonio Taguba and the testimony of Scott McClellen, the process has taken a turn for the earnest.

I remember when Bill Clinton was elected. I was apolitical back then but I couldn’t help but notice. He was younger than any president that had held that office in my lifetime. His victory party blasted Fleetwood Mac. He had once smoked marijuana. My guitar teacher was ecstatic. Bill Clinton was going to be great. I remember thinking that anybody this great was poised for a great fall.

I had no idea that he might be impeached. On the day of the hearings, America dropped bombs on an obscure terrorist target. This distracted the media for about one news cycle. There were murmurs of a wag-the-dog motive, but little more. (I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven the man for those bombs.) In the end, the bigger scandal was the blow-job and the bigger scandal always sells.

There is a great line in Charlie Wilson’s War: “…as long as the press sees sex and drugs in your left hand, we can park a battle carrier group behind your right hand and no one’s gonna notice.”

Which brings me to my point: Americans are amoral, valueless turds with no integrity whatsoever. We’re not interested in justice. We’re interested in entertainment. If President Bush had dry-humped Dick Cheney’s leg and then lied about it, he’d have been impeached long ago. We would have demanded it. We would have clamored for it. Most importantly, we would have laughed ourselves silly with Colbert, cartoons, comic stand-up. It would have entertained us so to keep it present to mind and the bastard would have been impeached.

Unfortunate for everybody this side of Halliburton, George W. Bush didn’t dry hump his veep’s leg. All he did was take our nation to war under false pretenses, wipe his ass with the constitution and *yawn* endorse torture. Where’s the fun? Where’s the funny? (There ought to be line here about lapel pins but I can’t think of it.)

If President Clinton thought that bombing terrorists would distract us from his sex scandal, he was never more wrong. Lucky for President Bush, Americans don’t really give a damn about anything that doesn’t entertain us. …Perhaps if the Gitmo prisoners were guest on The View, we’d give a damn.