Somewhere in the White House, George W. Bush must be rubbing his hands together feverishly, laughing maniacally and roaring, “It’s all going according to plan!”

Sure, Bush’s approval levels have become Nixonesque, but the conspiracy theorist in me says there’s an increasingly good chance that, soon, he and fellow oilman Dick Cheney will settle in the Oval Office with a celebratory Scotch and declare their true mission accomplished.

What is their true mission? To position American oil companies --- already bloated with record profits --- to reap even greater profit for years and years to come.

To that end, The New York Times reports today that the war is, as far as Bush and Cheney are concerned, almost won. No, that doesn’t mean our troops are coming home or that fighting has ended. What it does mean is that the new Iraqi government is very close to agreeing with four western oil companies --- Exxon Mobil, Shell, BP and the French oil company Total --- on contracts that will allow them to drill in Iraq for the first time since Saddam Hussein nationalized the Iraqi oil fields 36 years ago.

What’s more, Bush has simultaneously begun a full-throated appeal to Congress to allow drilling on areas off the U.S. coastline that have been closed to such drilling since Bush’s father established a moratorium --- since renewed many times with the current ban in effect until 2012 --- in 1981. Bush’s appeal to open these areas to drilling comes despite the fact that the oil companies currently have valid leases on offshore tracts that aren’t being used. Bush argues the additional leases are needed to help provide relief for higher gas prices, despite experts saying that no oil would likely result from these new leases until 2030.

It’s almost an unreal and nightmarish thing we’re seeing happen. Two oil men assume the two highest offices of our government and, just before their terms expire, we see gas prices skyrocket, a war they started under false pretense result in American oil companies' return to one of the world’s most fertile oil fields after almost four decades, and a quarter-century-old moratorium on domestic offshore drilling possibly lifted. And all it cost were more than 4,000 American lives, the cooperation of a speculative oil market and much misery to Americans who must travel to work by car every day.

That’s a small price to pay to further inflate the profits of the most profitable companies in the history of the world, don’t you think?