Campaign Economics 101

There are five simple principles that will help Barack Obama and John McCain hold worthwhile debates about the economy. I’ll list these here in descending order of importance and include brief explanations of these key tenets.

5. When campaigning for president, it is generally advantageous to sound like you know what you’re talking about. This might come as news to John McCain who directly admitted that, “I don’t really understand economics.”* McCain suggested that he’d rely on others for economic advice. This kind of honest humility worked wonders for Bush in 2000, but Bush was an odd choice in several respects. Bush also deferred to his cabinet in matters of foreign policy, military strategy, domestic legislation and politics. He made up for these weaknesses with his prowess in baseball trivia. McCain would be well served to try something different, i.e. intelligence.

*See http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=40334&sectionid=3510203

4. When campaigning for president, it is best not to sound like you’re book-smart. Coming across like you’ve formally studied economics is the kiss of death. Obama doesn’t seem to understand this principle when he writes:

“What started as a crisis in the housing market has now spilled over to the rest of the economy. Banks are facing a credit crunch, leaving businesses with less money to invest and more Americans unable to get loans... I introduced legislation to stop mortgage fraud and predatory lending almost two years ago. I called for a middle-class tax cut back in September that would put money into the pockets of over 90% of working Americans; that would eliminate income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000; that would give a tax credit to struggling homeowners.”*

Mr. Obama, pah-lease! All Americans want to hear is that you’ll “cut taxes”. The more words you use, the more elitist you look. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be the candidate who refuses to talk about policy? Stick to one syllable words like “hope” and “change”—that’s the only thing we’ll remember any way.

*See http://www.barackobama.com/2008/01/22/remarks_of_senator_barack_obam_41.php

3. When campaigning for president, be sure not to discuss the relationship between the American economy and foreign policy. Americans only care about America. We don’t want to hear about how third-world debt is debilitating most of the countries in Africa. We don’t care that grotesque poverty leads to rampant child prostitution, kidnapping and above-the-law-drug-lords only miles from our borders. Happily, both candidates have avoided this pitfall admirably.

2. When campaigning for president, remember to be rich yourself. How are we supposed to trust you with the federal government if you’ve not demonstrated greed under your own roof? It really doesn’t matter how you get rich, just do it. Inherit it, marry into it, exploit the industrial military complex for it. Just don’t forget to be rich. But, at the end of the day, it’s best to be born rich. Americans tend to like silver-spooned brats who tell us how well they understand the working class. If you did forget to be born rich, you can always write two best selling novels. That seems to be an easy way.

1. When campaigning for president, simple math is your friend (as long as you keep it a secret). McCain accuses Obama of wanting to increase the national budget by billions of dollars. Meanwhile, Obama wants to end a war that has cost America over a trillion dollars. A trillion is more than a billion. In fact, a trillion is quite a bit more than a billion. A trillion one dollar bills placed face to back (not end to end, mind you) would circle the Earth 7606 times. The good news for John McCain is that Americans can’t visualize either number. Both are big enough to remain incomprehensible.

As long as the war and the economy are painted as separate issues, republicans can continue to vote their pocketbooks and ignore the results. After the dot.com bubble burst and after September 11th, the economy was bad. It was so bad that the average cost of gas jumped from $1.05 to $1.20 per gallon. When America invaded Iraq, gas prices averaged $1.35. Simple math suggests that $4 is quite a leap from then to now. Mr. McCain, I’ve got some good news: Americans think arithmetic is boring.

Summary and Conclusion
If McCain is to pick up ground on Obama, he must (1) keep the ethics of war and the mathematics of war in separate conversations, (2) get his millionaire wife to do some humanitarian work for the cameras, (3) never talk about real poverty, (4) keep countering Obama’s Harvard book-learnin’ with slogans from the 1980’s and (5) retract what he said previously about his utter ignorance.

If Obama wants to maintain his lead, he must simply repeat the following two facts:

“John McCain wants to cut taxes for the wealthy; I want to cut taxes for everybody else.”
“John McCain wants to spend another trillion dollars in Iraq; I’d rather invest that money in America.”