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What's Wrong With the Obama Lovers on This Website
I am so deeply angry at Barack Obama and his irritating young supporters. They are not Democrats, whatever they are. Democrats supported LBJ. I supported LBJ. These young Democrats think that stands for LeBron James. Shows what they know about winning Ohio, or elections, or anything. He never won shit and neither will they. Anyway, since I vote on the basis of how I feel about bloggers who like Obama, and nothing else, I suggest you vote with me for the adult option in this election, John McCain, unless you feel like writing in Senator Clinton. John McCain is the only person old enough, angry enough at Iran, and who represents enough of a rebuke to those snotty Obama supporters, to deserve my vote on the fall ballot. There is so much wrong with Obama's snotty young bloggers.
For one thing, the Obama bloggers have no consciousness of history. Not only are they oblivious to the importance of Buckminster Fuller, they are ignorant of such historical matters as SNCC (I won't tell you what it stands for, but you don't call its members Snickers) and have never heard of Stalingrad. This will doubtless cause the Obama supporters to cluster in a city too far from Chicago until, bereft of supplies, the McCain forces surround, starve, and annihilate them. Don't ask me what I meant by that. They probably haven't heard of Antietam either, but don't get me started. If they were as smart as me, they'd mention obscure Roman emperors, like Nerva. Maybe Otho. Or Galba.
But they aren't. They probably don't know much about Nikolai Tesla, or John Jay. Because they're not smart like me, they don't post links to obscure university-based discussion pages someone threw up ten years ago to prove how smart they are either. Don't they know history is stuff that happened more than 20 years before the present, so they can't understand history, mired as they are in the present? What irritating cocks of the walk they are.
Another problem is that the Obama people are a bunch of discourteous, humorless assholes. I wiped my butt with a mailer from Obama and mailed it back to him, and laughed about it all in a thread, and people have the stones to criticize me, as if I'm the rude one. After they thought they won the primaries, which aren't even over until Puerto Rico and Montana say so, they said jump on the happy unity pony. And we said fuck the pony. And they don't laugh. Idiots. Let's face it, they're a bunch of smug latte-sippers who wouldn't know comic genius if Jimmy Durante or Spike Jones were staring them in the face. But they probably know less about Durante than Antietam, the twerps. So screw 'em. Get a sense of humor. If they have that at barackobama.com, along with Obama-brand Kleenex and whatever. I dare you, you uncultured brigands.
And I hate how the Obama people are soft on our enemies, and soft on having enemies. What kind of a President doesn't want enemies? Nixon had enemies. Reagan had enemies. Carter was a puss. He had no enemies, at least that he picked out. And he lasted one term, and of course he loves Obama. Clinton? Hell, Clinton had a million enemies. Good for two terms. Conflict is good for the soul. It's Hegelian. But you stupid Obama twerps probably don't know shit about Hegel, and don't realize that Hegelian is the adjectival form of his name. You probably confuse him with Hagel. Serves you right. Back on point: Hillary has enemies: Iran, the vast-right-wing whatever it is, you know. So Obama doesn't want to obliterate Iran? No cojones, senor. But you callow youth probably know little about cojones. Or Kierkegaard. I have such withering contempt for you. Look me in my face and let me wither you. I dare you. I have enemies. More than Obama. He's not strong like me, or witty and cerebral. But I digress.
Another thing that makes me mad is that the Obama people like Wikipedia. I know this, because one time one of them mentioned it to me. And it just pissed me off. Wikipedia is for idiots. I get all my news from Howard Wolfson, who knows a shit-ton more than Wikipedia. And no one can just go on Howard Wolfson and change what he says, like you can Wikipedia. Mostly the point is that I know more than other people, and since there was no Wikipedia when I attended college -- and I did, you know -- I say screw Wikipedia. I'd wipe my ass with it, but I'd have to print it out first, and there's no one to angrily mail it to. So I just called up Wikipedia on my screen, spit on my screen, and wiped my spit off it, but with a picture of Obama. So there, you witless retards. Take that.
The Obama people don't understand the deep truths of class and race. These truths are so deep that I cannot really articulate them in a comment or a thread. You are too stupid to understand them anyway, Obama voter. So trust me on this, there are deep truths about class and race, and you flout them by your criticisms of West Virginia, Bill Clinton, and Gerry Ferraro. Who do you think you are to criticize these states and leaders? States are smart, smarter than you, Obama kiddies. Twenty percent of white voters took account of race in West Virginia. So what? Everyone's racist, depending on how you look at things, meaning so are you, so you aren't in a position to comment. I should know, because I'm the one who gets to say everyone's racist, which preempts your response to me, which is just as well, since I don't want to hear anything you have to say.
I would have more to say, but they're turning off the computer again. Assholes. Will I vote for McCain or write in Hillary this fall? Crap. Depends.
Comments (277)
Yet further evidence for our disdain for Hillary's 'robots'.
It never ends with these people.
And they wonder why their gal is losing every metric.
May 20, 2008 9:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Are you aware that this is a PUT ON and not a real Hillary supporter position?
Jeeesh...
May 21, 2008 3:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
The sad part is some of them are so crazy and ridiculous it is hard to separate real ones from people mocking them by going way over the top, because they are alll way over the top :P
May 21, 2008 10:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllyyy??? Come on!
May 21, 2008 5:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR LEBRON JAMES!!!
May 20, 2008 9:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hah!
May 20, 2008 10:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bob Cousy would kick LeBron's sorry butt. LeBron reached the finals and was swept. And that's all you sorry Obamatrons have done to Roosevelt's party. He'll be swept! Swept I tell you!
Name several Persian emperors! See! You don't know squat up there in Seattle!
And they let you vote! Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
Darius I, Darius II, Khamenei, and of course the 9-foot Mexican Rodrigo Santo.
May 21, 2008 3:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
All the way with LBJ!
May 21, 2008 10:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
ROTFLMAO
May 21, 2008 2:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
The problem with Obama supporters is that we're NOT HILLARY SUPPORTERS.
We can THINK! We can use our brains.
May 20, 2008 10:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well, of course you can think. It's an open question as to whether you ever do think. Basing the answer on public behavior and statements re: Obama, the answer would be "No."
Thanks.
mp
May 21, 2008 1:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
**We obviously DO think, because we're NOT voting for Clinton.
May 21, 2008 5:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Seems that backing the candidate with the money in the bank, the near-zero debt, (in comparison to your "girl" Hillary), the MOST DELEGATES, MOST PLEDGED DELEGATES and MOST SUPER DELEGATES, MOST STATES WON and MOST POPULAR VOTE of the STATES THAT COUNT in the REAL WORLD... would indicate "Yes We Can" and DO think.
Seems that you Hillaryites don't.
May 21, 2008 7:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Amen.
I am tired of the dividing on this site, and the poop references.
I assume this is satire.
May 20, 2008 10:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, I too think it's a snark. Laughed out loud a couple of times.
May 20, 2008 10:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your LeBron James quip comforted me in that regard.
May 20, 2008 10:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think the "crap, depends" gave it away, along with "they're turning off the computer". I am assuming it is snark of the retirement home persuasion.
May 21, 2008 12:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
I don't take crap from people in Westmont.
You back off before you tell an angry man what's snark, and what's what.
You don't know who ran for Vice President with Al Smith, do you? Faster! I didn't think so!
Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
What's your love for Wolfson? You should get all your news from Paul Harvey.
Good day.
May 21, 2008 4:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
I depart from my castigation of all who bother me to briefly and reluctantly laud your entering this thread, even though you're blue, and thus appear related to that vexatious Smurf.
Though you are facing backwards, which is asinine, I grudgingly tip my bowler hat to you, and scowl ambiguously in your general direction. I am now going to return to my geodesic dome and take a nap.
May 21, 2008 12:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
oy....it has a thesaurus on the desktop.
May 21, 2008 1:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
z
May 22, 2008 2:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is it satire?
I think the correct one-word answer would be, "Depends."
May 20, 2008 11:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Depends?
May 21, 2008 5:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Of course! The answer Bob Dole gave to they key question of the 1996 Presidential race: boxers or briefs?
See, some of us young 'uns know the history that matters!
May 21, 2008 6:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Depends." ???
I know McSame is old, but let’s not start unsubstantiated rumors.
May 21, 2008 11:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
Depends?
I thought that was the punchline to the question,"What does McCain's Senate seat smell like?"
May 21, 2008 6:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Was this supposed to be funny?
May 20, 2008 10:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes. Uproarious. Enjoy the laugh, guffaw, pass it around. It's a real peach!
May 20, 2008 11:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
No, but suggesting that Kansas State is number one in anything is more humorous, benighted Obamanut.
Name the capital of New Brunswick!
Callow youth!
Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ok. I'm gonna take that as a yes.
And don't forget, only a few years ago, Kansas State won the Big 12 football championship. And this season, their men bball team made it to the Sweet 16.
May 21, 2008 2:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
"K-State made the sweet sixteen"
No, they didn't. They got bounced second round.
And don't forget what big brother did this year - national championship and winning the Orange Bowl. KU's teams accomplished more this year than KSU's have in their entire history. The only thing KSU is No. 1 in is soil judging. Seriously.
May 21, 2008 5:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
ooooh dang.
sounds like we've got some in-state rivalry trashtalk.
can't wait to see what the kstate fan comes back with.
if anything.
much respect to both your schools - and no offense meant by giving props to your rivals.
May 21, 2008 9:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
In fact, it is funny.
May 20, 2008 10:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
If you say "In fact" before something, it must be true.
Right?
In fact, I am correct.
May 21, 2008 12:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
Is that how the Jedi Mindtrick works? I feel soooooo stupid.
May 21, 2008 12:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
I, for one, like you...you old curmudgeon.
May 20, 2008 11:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
You stopped being Republican.
Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm with Smurfette: it is *extremely* funny. A little insidery, a bit roman a clef in places. But here it rises to a more universal theme:
That's the argument of the last week in a nutshell. Also here:
That's the argument of the last three months in a nutshell.
And. I. Am. So. Tired. Of. It.
May 20, 2008 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's funny how no matter which messed up alias I write under, you are always the person with whom I most agree, Alex.
A tip of the hat to you.
I wrote this piece for those who have suffered through the tedium, weird condescending rage, and lack of honest engagement within parts of this site during the past weeks.
Cheers!
May 21, 2008 12:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's hysterical!
May 21, 2008 1:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
What are YOU doing here?!
May 21, 2008 8:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
The sexism. You forgot to mention the horrible, horrible sexism.
May 21, 2008 9:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Bademus' use of the word "hysterical" is sexist.
I forget nothing.
May 21, 2008 11:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
anyone's use of the term "hysterical" is sexist. it's very etymology is sexist.
May 21, 2008 1:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
speaking if sexism, SPQR, what was the deal with the death of Fausta? Not exactly Christian.
May 21, 2008 2:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
i believe it had something to do with a false accusation of rape that was discovered after the falsely-accused had been executed for his alleged crime.
not very christian, agreed.
but societies have always used laws to punish bad behavior. the romans had laws too, and enforced them. just because they
May 21, 2008 3:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
i believe it had something to do with a false accusation of rape that was discovered after the falsely-accused had been executed for his alleged crime.
not very christian, agreed. you can't really have a society without enforcing laws... unless everyone was a perfect practitioner of the golden rule.
May 21, 2008 3:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Constantine and his world, the events and causations, the interplay of pagan people and beliefs with the new religion -- fascinating to me but I can't get to any of the essence of the actual time. It seems so hidden in the exterior events that shaped the long range impact of the conversion, the personal realities seem lost to history. Can you suggest a good book?
May 21, 2008 3:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
you can find a good discussion here
May 21, 2008 4:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks.
May 21, 2008 4:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
anyone's use of the term "hysterical" is sexist. it's very etymology is sexist.
May 21, 2008 1:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Woo. thanks for the double-double post, TPM.
May 21, 2008 3:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you. You've no idea how much I appreicate it.
May 21, 2008 12:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I dunno, Mr. Crankypants. Some of your references are awfully elitist.
May 20, 2008 11:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am a hard working white curmudgeon.
You're frickin' blue. And I didn't see any exit polls on _blue_ voters tonight. Oh, wait, Obama's voters will all be blue in November!
Name the capital of Assyria! Ur? Shit, Ur was in Sumer! Which was a series of city-states lacking a capital!
Idiots, all of you! Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:46 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm too tired right now to read your satirical wall of text, but that made me laugh harder than I have in weeks.
May 21, 2008 1:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
I may grudgingly permit you to shadow my threads, so long as you persist in such syncophantic promotion of my wisdom and erudition.
May 21, 2008 1:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
how fucking dare you sayI'm not a democrat. I'm voting for the candidate that DIDN'T vote for the Iraq War DIDN'T defend torture DIDN'T vote Iran's guard as a terrorist organization. Congratulations, you voted for a candidate that is a war mongerer, a candidate that claims is a fighter, but she didn't fight after she lost the universal health care struggle, she just got paid off by the drug companies and completely forgot until the next election year. I'm voting for the candidate that can work with others, can bring in new voters, stood up against that stupid assed "gas-tax holiday" proposal (guess what, asshole, it doesn't stop oil companies from raising the price and pocketing the difference, AND ENCOURAGES TO BUY MORE OIL FROM GOD DAMN DICTATORS). Your candidate lost, her claim to be more "electable" is bullshit, she can't even win her own parties nomination process when she is the established candidate with the name that every motherfucker knows. She was inevitable and now she won't be anything soon. Now don't get it twisted I'll vote for her any day over McCain, but I expect the same from you and any Hillary supporter. If you can't act adult STAY HOME IN NOVEMBER AND CONTINUE TO BE BITTER AND BE FORGOTTEN BY THE REST OF US, WHO ARE WILLING TO WORK FOR PROGRESSIVE VALUES NO MATTER WHAT. That's what being a democrat is about. I'm sorry, old timer, but the DLC is a relic of the past, a relic that needs to be discarded, because when democrats try to act republican-lite, we lose. Every. Damn. Time.
May 21, 2008 12:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
I hate to lend this post credence by responding, but
Obama didn't vote on Kyl-Liberman, but he has cosponsored legislation that designates the IRGC as a terrorist organization. It's S. 970, and the designation is made in Sec 3.8.
Important to note, however, is Sec 2.8, stating that "Nothing in this Act should be construed as giving the President the authority to use military force against Iran."
May 21, 2008 2:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
I love you, Mister Crankypants.
May 21, 2008 12:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
Name Victor Mature's costar in Samson and Delilah. You can't? You're all a bunch of Philistines . . .
As They Might Be Giants said, "touch thepuppethead". Something I'm sure you've done.
Bah!
May 21, 2008 1:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hedy Lamar and to quote Groucho Marx: "Victor Mature had bigger knockers than Hedy"
May 21, 2008 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
How do you feel about pickled eggs?
May 21, 2008 12:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
oh, wow. I so needed that.
May 21, 2008 12:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
The best thing I've read all day.
It has the feel of Fafblog/Fafnir.
May 21, 2008 12:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
Then you don't get out much. I've written better posts with my eyes closed, during the sixties, when I was saving the world by doing some undefined thing I keep referring to without saying what it was.
Name the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress in 1937! Time's up! Is there no one smart in here?
You culturally illiterate impersonator of French royalty, vacate this thread at once!
May 21, 2008 1:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
You and Dennis Miller hang out, dontcha?
May 21, 2008 1:55 AM | Reply | Permalink
Not French royalty, you bowler helmeted curmudgeon. Charlotte Lennox's Arabella. Although, I am honored to be so noticed...
May 21, 2008 2:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ah, The Female Quixote it is then?
You are a groupie worthy of this withered husk.
May 21, 2008 11:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
Withered husk? Ewwww...visual image yucky!
May 21, 2008 12:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
You didn't mention mention Ionesco or any other existentialists. You're a poser. And you said "frickin'". Stay in uniform, you're letting your grouch sag. A little more gummy under the chin too - the lights catch it and make you look really old.
May 21, 2008 4:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Wow. You didn't just do that! This is funny.
May 21, 2008 7:51 AM | Reply | Permalink
You are not the object of this satire!
But your tips on curmudgeonliness, coming as they are with a grudgingly acknowledged measure of grace and good humor, may be noted by my magnificent intellect.
Camus. There, an existentialist. Now shut your gob. You call me a "poser," and ironically, your avatar is facing the _wrong way_. Strike a new pose, Latin language lady!
May 21, 2008 11:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dear Mr Crankypants, I'm deeply humbled and shall repent of my callow errant ways, forswearing Latte for Crown Royal, Empty Suit for Pantsuit, or better, Duck-Hunting Suit or Sniper-Landing Suit, suitable for the appropriate electorate occasion, get a gun, give up Google for Encyclopaedia Brittanica, be nice to Geri-atric Ferraro, throw out my Mac, buy a Wilmington, ha-ha. With due respect, in November, you should vote McCane because he's older, thus more like you, therefore better than the rest of us.
Do not send any more asswipes to Obama, he's not worthy!
May 21, 2008 1:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
Old man shouts at cloud.
Oh, sorry, that's McCain.
Funny!
May 21, 2008 1:18 AM | Reply | Permalink
Are you not entertained?! Is that not what you are here for?!
(You probably don't even know what movie that's from. Jesus Christ, you people.)
Why is this post not yet the Most Recommended? It's only number two. Friggin' Obama loving jerks can't hit recommend for a counterpoint, can you? Narcissists.
May 21, 2008 1:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh pleease, can we have more Crankypants blogposts? Please!!!? [Abjectly begging]
May 21, 2008 2:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
If it pissed someone off, rest assured I shall return!
Now return to rustic Nebraska in your bustle skirt and await further direction from my nonagenarian magnificence.
May 21, 2008 11:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
SPAINARD! SPAINARD! SPAINARD!
May 21, 2008 4:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
LOL!
may well be my favorite comment on this thread
May 21, 2008 4:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not bad for a first post, OldManShoutingatCloud.
But I'll take up your challenge.
St. John's. Wait, Saint John.
Moncton.
Fredericton.
Oh crap, you win.
I should have gone for the capital of Assyria.
May 21, 2008 3:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
The Magnetic Hill.
Je me souviens.
May 21, 2008 3:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
hey crankypants
"and have never heard of Stalingrad."
Please give me a clue to your reference. It sounds too vauge, given your imense historical knowledge?
May 21, 2008 4:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
I cannot respond in substance to comments laden with typographic error.
By "vauge," young fellow, I trust you mean Madonna's "Vogue."
Based on your mark yourself as a supporter of Senator Obama.
May 21, 2008 11:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
You're right, there is no sense talking to people who confuse Mayakovsky and Dostoyevsky, Marquez and Borges, and can't even tell the difference between Kurosawa and Akutagawa. Let's not even mention them at all.
May 21, 2008 5:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Since literacy requirements for voting are apparently unconstitutional, I will impose my own cultural literacy requirements upon the franchise!
May 21, 2008 12:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Might I suggest French and the Latin Vulgate, if not Classic Greek? Ovid would be more uplifting, but Dante seems more appropriate.
May 21, 2008 1:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Now you're talking, backwards-facer!
Join me, and we shall exclude all but ourselves from the ranks of voters! Your suggestions are excellent, particularly as they are consistent with my own!
(And as Obama supporters at most can fake their way through "pig" Latin, of course!)
May 21, 2008 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
My favorite line from Beowulf:
Deað bið sella eorla gehwylcum þonne edwitlif!
Or even Voltaire (my apologies for the poor English translation):
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
May 21, 2008 1:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is that you Martin, or Pierre, or what ever you're calling yourself these days? Why don't you go back to Rotterdam or Amsterdam and tend to your little "garden" and smoke it, you old fartknocking Manichean. You and Newton, jeez, plagiairize my ass! Surely this is the best of all possible worlds!
May 21, 2008 7:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hello everyone,
I want to apologize for my postings last night. I seem to have eaten a bad bit of beef last night, which caused me the worst nightmares. When I awoke this morning, surprisingly with my Depends (mostly) intact, I discovered the frightful nature of my manners exhibited the night before.
I have nothing but good feelings towards the youth. And half the time I don't remember the capital of Assyria, or who Hegel or Tesla was, or the significance of Stalingrad. LeBron James is a fine, upstanding individual, even if he didn't have what it takes against the Celtics.
And I must admit I harbor certain, ummm, feelings for those blue folk among us. Please write often anneeliz.
May 21, 2008 8:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
Shame on you Cranky Flip Flopper.
May 21, 2008 9:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
You're pretty hot yourself, Crankypants.
May 21, 2008 10:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Aw, c'mon. You're much more fun when you're constipated.
May 21, 2008 11:15 AM | Reply | Permalink
I have clicked this man. This one is not my husband. He has what's-it-called, poofed, my husband. He is a poofer and a fraud. My husband does not hit on hussies, and in the 85 years that we have been married, he has never once apologized about anything.
May 21, 2008 2:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
HUSSY? HUSSY?
Well. I'm going to take my overly short skirt and go home.
May 21, 2008 2:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dearest Smurfette, if you click on the fake "Edmund Crankypants" who hit on you, you will see he is not the author of the post.
He is what you call a spoof.
The stupid fake wife is part of the faked E.C. It forgets how to spell things, and can't do intellectual humor. It makes Viagra jokes.
Ah, the price of attempting humor on message boards. Methinks someone wished to divert an unduly effective piece of humor.
The actual author has only the greatest respect for your blueness, your insouciance, and your addressing Allsburg as "Baby."
May 21, 2008 2:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Phantom hope illusive quest,
Life is but a dream at best,
And even dreams themselves are dreams.
May 21, 2008 4:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
And you, Monica, have a talent for awesome avatars, among many other things.
May 21, 2008 7:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I thank you for your kind words.
Just to be clear, Anneeliz, the "you're frickin' blue" was me, the more solicitous part under that was not.
And in a related response to you I gave you a hint as to my true secret identity.
May 21, 2008 8:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Posts like this, mean-spirited bile thinly disguised as snark, are extremely destructive to the idea of unity. Oh, tee hee, sure, lets have some more ridicule aimed at half the Democratic party, oh please! We all need to feel superior to as many people as humanly possible! This is a playground that seems to attract that level of Middle School emotional security.
In case all of you who deplored the recent er, "exposé" of a Clinton supporter don't know THIS poster opened that door. Threads aimed at singular posters, regardless of how thick skinned they may seem, is why others are emboldened to do that sort of thing. I love snark, but detest ridicule. There is a line there.
Crossing it seems to be this posters M.O.
It's a troll in a most insidious form.
May 21, 2008 8:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
This seems to me a tricky case.
I have to admit that I was uncomfortable with an aspect of the original post that seemed aimed at one or two particular persons in an ageist way. But as the comment thread has evolved, Crankypants has ceased to be a caricature and has developed a life of his own. Let's not kill him in the cradle, just because he began life as a clone.
In any case, it's not like the "exposé." It doesn't violate privacy.
And even at the beginning, Crankypants was a composite. He's aimed less at any one individual than at a frame of mind that seems to characterize Clinton bloggers collectively -- a mood of bitter disdain that leads them to pose as the voice of experience, and utter increasingly Jeremiah-like prophecies of doom.
I don't disagree with you about the danger, though. I think this post successfully walks a fine line. But it's true that it could be imitated by people who would turn a rapier into a bludgeon, and that would be a bad thing.
May 21, 2008 9:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
I disagree. I don't think it crosses any line. If it were to come in the voice of a poor, uneducated person and/or angry woman scored who is also a rabid Hillary supporter then it could be a mean caricature. Mr. Crankypants is an elitist extraordinaire and simply non-Obama. Seems to me he is poking as much fun at the uppity, erudite Obama supporters as anyone.
May 21, 2008 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
how do you know it was this poster?
May 21, 2008 11:38 AM | Reply | Permalink
I also started the first Iraq War, and destroyed the Era of Good Feelings by promoting faction within the Federalists.
Bah!
May 21, 2008 12:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was there in Byzantium and led Gilgamesh out of Babylon. You've probably forgotten your Sumerian already, you fraud, you poofter. First Iraq War! You were already into your second retirement perfecting shuffleboard and cribbage by then. Act your age!
May 21, 2008 3:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
As you could see by clicking the comment to which you are responding, the author of the above post, and not the lame attempt at mimicking him below-thread (in interaction with the unfunny fake wife character), is the author of said comment.
The author of the post (and the comment) asks me to inform you that cuneiform remains foremost in his mind at all times. He hopes you find a way in future posts or comments to relate the fall campaign to the Battle of Akkad, or to reference lapis lazuli, or the king Ur-Nammu. He thanks you for your participation in the parts of this most highly recommended thread in which he actually participated (e.g., here and upthread).
Best regards, the Directorate.
May 21, 2008 3:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
You have no idea how funny this is to the individuals you are trying to describe. This is the play within the play within the play.
May 21, 2008 3:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Brazen hussy. Succubus. Poor cousin to H. Rider Haggard's "She".
May 21, 2008 5:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
ahh, that classical muse, ayesha. i knew her, once.
May 21, 2008 10:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Candy... Assification... If this post is dividing the party, I'd hate to think of what all those working class people (who just happen to be white) voting for Obama is going to do to us...
May 21, 2008 12:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
WB: I honestly can't tell if you the most brilliant satirist of all time, or simply suffering from a multiple personality disorder. You are complaining about the angry posts there?
At least Mr. Crankypants was meant to be funny!
May 21, 2008 12:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah sure, about as funny as you pleading understanding for the GOP in one breath, and ridiculing half of the Democratic party in the next.
I don't think there's a clearer definition of what a GOP troll is and does.
The thing that really strikes me as funny, though, are people who are so in need of approval that they are willing to create multiple user IDs. That is a sign of mental illness. The groupthink around here validating it isn't funny. It's tragic.
On any other board, that type of behavior would be considered deplorable, because it is. Grounds for removal, even.
As for your latest slam on me personally, I'll answer it:
You are one of the most spiteful and foul tempered excuses for a poster on this board. It hasn't escaped my attention that as you continue to out yourself, more folks are becoming aware of that.
Heck of a job, CT. Looking forward to your next temper tantrum when someone debunks your right wing crapola. Just to think alll this attention you give me is because I pointed out that your statement about doctors being left-leaning had no basis in fact or reality. You just can't handle it when people don't take your propaganda hook, line, and sinker. It's not enough for you to ignore them, you have to follow them around and try to discredit them and smear them at EVERY opportunity. It's infantile and quite transparent. I'm sorry you're so very unsure of yourself, but it's not my problem.
Your constant baiting is a sure sign of a lack of maturity, IOW: Grow up.
May 22, 2008 11:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Excelent stuff, Mr. Crankypants. I do recognize the writing style, though. Behind the mask of blogger anonymity, aren't you T. Herman Zweibel, publisher emeritus of the Onion? I read his colunm every week when I lived in Madison and the similarities are striking.
May 21, 2008 8:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
I would answer you, but my posts are a one way conduit of information. Writing to me is futile. Bah!
May 21, 2008 12:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey! You kids! Get off my lawn!
[mumble mumble mumble...]
May 21, 2008 9:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
I resent the fact that Barack Obama has so many relatives on this website! It's why he's winning! Who knew how many people named "Hussein" walked among us!
Go back to Taos, "Hussein" lady, and pray facing the stoplight in the plaza, which is of course your Mecca. Lawyers, bah!
May 21, 2008 12:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hussein First, Watson Second - surely you remember?
May 21, 2008 3:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Third base!
May 21, 2008 3:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Aida Knowell.
See if you can catch Tuday.
May 21, 2008 5:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
You've got to give me props on the "third base" joke falling into your reference with a Lewinsky avatar. Come on.
May 21, 2008 7:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry, I belong to the stunted 3F club supporting the Clintons, which is easier for me since you white people all look the same.
May 21, 2008 7:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
My wife swears they do.
May 21, 2008 7:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Besides, you should have pleaded the 5th.
May 21, 2008 7:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Starr either gave or would have given her complete immunity, making taking the Fifth not a possibility, unfortunately.
May 21, 2008 7:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why do you talk about yourself in the 3rd person? I only do that when I'm dealing with multiple personalities, but you don't have one, so what gives? (Oh, don't pout - it'll get black streaks down your dress).
May 21, 2008 8:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm going to have to take the Fifth on that one!
May 21, 2008 8:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ouch!
May 21, 2008 3:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't call him Shirley.
May 21, 2008 4:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey, Crankypants -
What do you do when you are not wasting your life?
How many people read, or will ever read past the first
2 sentences of your convoluted dullness?
You, and you alone.
May 21, 2008 9:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yay! Could it be? Does "Present" have a sense of humor?
Come play with us, "Present". Come in from the cold.
May 21, 2008 12:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Present" is "Slumlord".
May 21, 2008 1:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Is Weaver is Mark Simmons!
May 21, 2008 7:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your jealousy of the attention showered upon my post does not become you, but your avatar is most impressively hateful!
Only I, the apotheosis of true antiObama anger, can merit 65 or more recommends! Your ineffectual attempts at mimicking my Platonic ideal of Obama-denunciation of course merit less approbation. (I will wait while you go look up "approbation," "apotheosis," and "Platonic ideal.") There.
Keep working, oh lamely hateful one! I hold out my example to thee!
May 21, 2008 12:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Awesome! Folks, we've got us a Crank War!
CrankyPants vs. Present. Me? I think CrankyPants will beat the pants off of Present.
But, let's make this real interesting and get Fogu in on this action, eh?
May 21, 2008 3:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Pay no attention to him. His hatred has consumed him, and soon he will emerge from the ashes more machine than man.
May 21, 2008 10:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
Why this would be a highly recommended post is beyond me. It doesn't speak well of the TPM community that it was recommended by so many folk.
May 21, 2008 10:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
Out of the loop, I am deeply ashame to confess that I have recommended this post. Not once but several times over. Even though it only counted the first time. Dammit. I just did it again. I know it's wrong. These are serious times, and things aren't funny anymore. I need help. I'm not strong enough to resist the seduction of Mr. Crankypants wishing that he could wipe his ass with Wikipedia. Have you never had the same desire? I just tried to recommend again, but I can't until I refresh the screen, and then I would have to type this all over again and screw it up by refreshing midway through, and so on ad infinitum. Instead, I will take a deep breath, click send, and then recommend my brains out.
May 21, 2008 11:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Take. Off. The. Shirt.
it's controlling your mind and your actions now, Genghis. It's the shirt recommending this post!
LOL
May 21, 2008 11:21 AM | Reply | Permalink
Careful what you wish for...
I'm free, I'm free. I will never recommend parody again.
(Don't worry folks, this won't last long.)
May 21, 2008 11:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
ewwwwwwwwwwww!
burned retinas!!
May 21, 2008 11:39 AM | Reply | Permalink
http://my.eyes.justgotowned.com/
May 21, 2008 11:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
Holy smoke! That link has truly heinous pictures. I love it!
May 21, 2008 1:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
I couldn't take it anymore. It was undermining my "graveltas". The shirt is back. (Hilarious link, Paige.)
May 21, 2008 12:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
An oldie-but-goodie... I think it went away for a while and came back when it got some sponsorship. You can adjust to suit your purpose, like so:
http://genghis.justgotowned.com
May 21, 2008 4:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
those were, um, scary.
May 21, 2008 6:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Umm, could it be because lots of folks have a sense of humor?
What do you take offense at in the post?
May 21, 2008 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
You are so full of crap Mr. Edmund Crankypants - I could teach you lessons in political history and the history of political philosophy and I support Obama BECAUSE of the understanding of Western history I've managed to put together.
May 21, 2008 10:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
How about Jonathan Swift? Are you familiar with his work?
May 21, 2008 11:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
excellent
May 21, 2008 11:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
urr, to clarify, I was referring to the literary recommendation, not to the new avatar
May 21, 2008 11:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
You're at the public bath again, aintyou, Swifty? Washing off all the stain of parody/satire.
Are you allowed to post comments from the public bath?
May 21, 2008 11:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
The stain of parody and satire can never be removed, unlike certain other stains best resolved by dry cleaning!
May 21, 2008 12:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
928 is an area code! Bah!
May 21, 2008 12:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Very good and fun. A good step up from crap speak.
The implied reference to John Lewis's irrelevant history in his support of Obama was especially fun. I couldn't help think about the time when Lee crossed the Volga to parlay with Grant, each having penned the words they would post in the pieces they would write about themselves in the Wiki. "I shall return," wrote Lee as he sent a private plea to Jimmy Carter for hidden retreat. But the peanut guy couldn't be found. He'd left Jerusalem to counter Sherman. When he heard Sherman came by land he called Patton. And the reply? "I told you were should have finished them off."
Then a thrice fleeced spirit came down. Its Freud was showing but it had plenty of cache." Listen up crypto commies," it said. "Henceforth all of you will be required to pass No Child Left Behind. " Then came Britten. Did he know about JImmy Carter's
constant up and down in the waves? No one knew. The jokes floated aimlessly to Lesbos.
May 21, 2008 11:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
make were we, sorry...
May 21, 2008 11:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Edmund Crankypants, you are a comic genius. I'm barely old enough to realize it!
May 21, 2008 11:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
You should know better than to have an attractive personal picture avatar. Ruthless young men, posing as idealists, will accost you in the thread, and they will not even seek to court you before making rude, poorly punctuated propositions.
Now put on something to cover your face, and come back suitably jaded! And the Red Sox only win because they spend too much money! So there!
May 21, 2008 12:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't listen to him, Nina. Your avatar is just fine. And, by the way, I share your ideals.
May 21, 2008 1:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's not fine, it's lovely!
May 21, 2008 3:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
I remember one time when Sidney, Edmund Crankypants and me went to the World's Fair to see the first autocars. Oh did we have a diddly of a time!
May 21, 2008 11:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
Stupid kid. Come back when you're a real grown up, like me.
May 21, 2008 12:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mr. Crankypants, I hope you'll post here often! This is the best laugh I've had in days!
May 21, 2008 12:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I will post when I choose to.
You will have no say in the matter.
None, I tell you!
May 21, 2008 12:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Love your post, Mr. Crankypants, but please steal MonicaL's avatar.
May 21, 2008 12:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Watch it, or she'll post on an hourly basis, Kool-Aid (TM) drunkard.
May 21, 2008 12:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
That would be "kool" with me, Cranky.
May 21, 2008 12:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your good wishes for this comely avatar have been noted.
I don't know why, but gosh, this avatar bothers some folks.
May 21, 2008 3:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
There's a certain emotional "neediness" to it.
May 21, 2008 4:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Here is an avatar that screams emotional neediness:
http://tinyurl.com/6krxhz
May 21, 2008 4:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
scary and needy......yikes
May 21, 2008 4:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
In a brilliant satire, my favorite line was:
" [I'd write more but] they're turning off the computer again."
HAH! still laughing uncontrollably at the perfect ending line.
May 21, 2008 12:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
The E.C. below here is a spoofed identity (not the actual poster) with no jokes. Read at your peril.
May 21, 2008 3:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry for the rants. This always happens when I forget to take my medicine.
I seem to have forgotten a couple of pills that I was supposed to be taking.
I promise to be more civil in the future--as long as I remember my pills.
May 21, 2008 12:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Tempus fugit. Omnes Gallia ist divisa in partes tres. Grudging respect that one so old has made it out of his oxygen tent long enough to master the Internets. As Fitzgerald said, "So we fight on, boats against the current, borne back endlessly into the past." Watch out for the rocks. They're a motherfucker.
May 21, 2008 12:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Kennst du Bruno Maderna's Satyricon? Quisas una pieza pour toi.
Auf der tema para aujourdui:
Manchmal können los ser humanos trop bete sein!
Acqui tenemos eine ganze reihe davon!
May 21, 2008 1:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
hast du bemerkt dass Monika nicht weiss dass ich für Obama bin?
May 21, 2008 1:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mein lieber Cypher,
Das ist nicht alles was sie nicht weiss!
Aber sie versuchte ihre Witz zu machen.
May 21, 2008 1:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ein bischen krimp-kramp, gel? Die Monika oder der Monika? Was denkst du? War der chimp ein Komponist vielleicht?
May 21, 2008 1:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
Weiss ich nicht. Und ist mir gar nicht wichtig.
Wegen Desi, weiss ich nur das er Musiker ist. Ob komponist oder spieler, bin ich nicht sicher.
Später...
May 21, 2008 1:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Alles, Komponist und Spieler und Singer und Dichter. Das ist warum ich bin zu kompliziert.
May 21, 2008 3:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Magst du Glass? Feldman? Terry Riley? John Zorn? oder....?
May 21, 2008 3:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Garbage. Bulgarian Women's Choir. Pygmy music from the Congo. Jerry Lee Lewis. Kašpárek v rohlíku. The Birthday Party. Serge Gainsbourg. Rachmaninoff. Guns 'n Roses. Neil Young. Rihanna. Betty Blowtorch. Agent Provocateur. Rasputina. Kid Rock. Molotov. Pipa music from China. Einstürzende Neubauten. Mudhoney. Public Enemy. Cora music from Senegal. Cajun from the bayou. Tom Waits. Rahsaan Roland Kirk. Alice Cooper. Dylan. People Like Frank.
May 21, 2008 5:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Calm down. Authenticity speaks to the purest of the soul. You've left out anything that might be authentically Anglo-Celtic (except for the musical and poetic models for some Dylan songs). Hmm..
your aesthetic is glowing warmer. Have you seen the DVD of Tan Dun's "The Map?" What's up with Rachmaninov ? One of my favorites but doesn't fit exactly into your profile. Vespers perhaps?
You've a bit of the Slav in you Des.....
May 21, 2008 6:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
There are several Anglo-Celtic bands there. Would Fairport Convention make you happier? Alex Harvey? My Bloody Valentine? Joy Division? Scraping Foetus off the Wheel? I guess Bad Brains and Lee Scratch Perry and Goran Bregović are out of the question. Are you looking for 14 hours of Frippertronics and Music for Airports? Or some Ian McDonald bagpipes? What do you want from me?
May 21, 2008 7:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
sorry des..i don't follow pop/rock...just not my thing
May 21, 2008 9:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
There are several Anglo-Celtic bands there. Would Fairport Convention make you happier? Alex Harvey? My Bloody Valentine? Joy Division? Scraping Foetus off the Wheel? I guess Bad Brains and Lee Scratch Perry and Goran Bregović are out of the question. Are you looking for 14 hours of Frippertronics and Music for Airports? Or some Ian McDonald bagpipes? What do you want from me?
May 21, 2008 8:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Creo que todos nosotros somos complicados tambien. Solamente gente con personalidades especiales pueden quedar aqui.
May 21, 2008 3:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
A traves del espejo oscuro vemos la vida y la inrealidad.
May 21, 2008 3:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
Satyricon ja, aber gefallt mir besser La Viridiana von Bunuel.
Aber macht schnell, fliegen wir ab - Billy erwartet uns bei usiran, und hier riecht es von alten gescheißenden Lederhosen mit ganz ermüdenden Kriegsgeschichten und verschüttet Bier. Dar können wir besser die Bestie diskutieren, der Blechtrommel, Samsa's Ungeziefer, usw.
BlueMan, Paige, allons-y! Andamos! Richtig! Chola chola!
May 21, 2008 3:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
For anyone who is appalled by the rudeness of some posters speaking in foreign languages, here is a link that will get you up to speed on what they are saying.
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt
May 21, 2008 4:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
A cool idea, certainly. Misses the meaning most often though. Ya gotta blame chimpo for starting up. He's the elitist.
But I took your idea and and "asked" the Yahoo thing to translate your words into German.
You wrote:
"For anyone who is appalled by the rudeness of some posters speaking in foreign languages, here is a link that will get you up to speed on what they are saying"
Yahoo translated that to German as:
"Für jedermann, das durch die Unhöflichkeit einiger Plakate entsetzt wird, die in den Fremdsprachen sprechen, ist hier eine Verbindung, die Sie bis zur Geschwindigkeit erhält auf, was sie sagen"
I asked the Yahoo thing to translate the German back to English.
Came out thus:
"For everyone, which is frightened by the impoliteness of some posters, which speak in the foreign languages, is here a connection, which receives you up to the speed up, which they say"
Not bad.
May 21, 2008 5:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
What I really said was, "Eee eee eee eee eee ah ooo eee eee eee wah wah...."
May 21, 2008 6:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yahoo doesn't have Chimp to English. I'll bet Google does.
May 21, 2008 6:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's funny. I thought you said, "oooo eee ooo aah aah."
May 21, 2008 6:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's pretty insulting in Upper Voltan, but I won't take it personally, being a chimp and all. I think I'll return to my African clicking language, I'm getting tired of you amateurs peeping in on my private conversations. Have you no sense of shame? Even chimps blush, when we're not displaying our private parts.
May 21, 2008 6:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
What your there-and-back-again translation missed was that the German translation was actually quite off, but translating it back to English "fixed" most of it.
For example Plakat indeed means poster, but only in the sense of a large printed picture.
May 21, 2008 6:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
My German isn't good enough to have caught that. But I noticed that it can't translate much with spoken patterns. Do I have that right?
May 21, 2008 6:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Spoken patterns? As in idioms? It has a hard time with those, yes.
May 21, 2008 6:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Just spoken is what I noticed.
May 21, 2008 6:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Das tut mir leid. Lo siento..
May 21, 2008 5:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is a really good link. God knows I need it. You realize that by actually providing something here that could make folks learn a thing or two (myself included) you will be branded as a turncoat.
May 21, 2008 6:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Google radi sve bolje.
May 21, 2008 6:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
No....that's him?
May 21, 2008 6:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ne znam koji jezik govorim. Ja sam samo jedna posuda za jedan glas iz drugačiji svijet.
May 21, 2008 7:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ajde, ajde, jevab mi duša (not my fault, it's Švejk who did it, that little Habsburg tool. No wonder Sarajevo fell apart, no allegiance.)
May 21, 2008 8:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hillary, make me a promise, 'cause you are one smart lady. If you ever track me down, let me rest in peace. Or email with a warning.
May 21, 2008 6:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
serioiusly Hill---I'm anon at tcarpman@gmail.com. We'll get it out of the way.
May 21, 2008 6:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
We live everything as it comes, without warning.
May 21, 2008 7:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
And we wouldn't want it any other way!
May 21, 2008 7:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
You have me then. I'm gone.
May 21, 2008 7:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Satyricon ja, aber gefallt mir besser La Viridiana von Bunuel.
Aber macht schnell, fliegen wir ab - Billy erwartet uns bei usiran, und hier riecht es von alten gescheißenden Lederhosen mit ganz ermüdenden Kriegsgeschichten und verschüttet Bier. Dar können wir besser die Bestie diskutieren, der Blechtrommel, Samsa's Ungeziefer, usw.
BlueMan, Paige, allons-y! Andamos! Richtig! Chola chola!
May 21, 2008 4:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is not my husband!!!!! Someone has poofed him or whatever it's called. Please help me. Someone poofed my husband!!!!
May 21, 2008 1:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
The E.C. comments, the one replied to here, and then below (and the single one upthread hitting on the Smurf), are done with a spoofed identity, evidenced by their relative lack of wit and articulation. If you click on the _spoofed_ E.C.'s identity, you see that he is not the author of this post. And since no one said anything, the spoofer invented a new identity, the wife, to announce it. Such are the travails of satire.
I spit upon you, jealous spoofer of my identity! I shall loan you a few recommendations and farthings to go buy yourself some consolation for your bitter jealousy! Write something worth recommending in an identity you invent! Bah!
May 21, 2008 2:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh Edmund, don't you remember me? It's Lillian. We've been married for 85 years. Why did you throw me over the bus? I knew it wasn't really you. I tried to tell them about the poofer, but no one would listen. Edmund, let's leave this place. It's horrid here.
May 21, 2008 2:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
This is where stupid-spoofed-identity-fake E.C. starts. Read below here at your peril, unless you have caffeine to keep you awake. Bah!
May 21, 2008 2:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Edmund!! Get your behind off that damn computer this instant. I swear, between the politics and the porn, you're like one of those internet freaks I was reading about. Next thing you know, you'll be wearing a camera on your head and filming your own BM's for posterity. Those kiddies don't want to hear any of your ranting anyway. They just want funny stuff. No respect for the wisdom of the old these days. Let'em have their romper room. It's time for peanuckle anyway. You can shout at Winston about the wikithingamajig. He can't hear you anyway.
May 21, 2008 1:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh Enid,
You know where I put my pills? No, not the Viagra, my sane pills? I feel like I might have another outburst soon.
Unless you, you know, do something that distracts me. You know what I mean?
May 21, 2008 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
You just had your pill, and no, I will not give you another enema today. And for the umpteen-millionth time, my name is Lillian.
Now turn off the computer before I rip it a new keister.
May 21, 2008 1:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sure, Enid, whatever you say.
I've been looking all over this computer thing, and I can't find a 1st keister for it. Maybe its keister is in the internet tubes?
May 21, 2008 1:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh my goodness. It's the poofer! It's the poofer! This is not my husband. Someone please stop him. What have you done with Edmund, you bastard?
May 21, 2008 1:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Enid, I don't know what a "poofer" is. Can't we just get along?
May 21, 2008 2:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have clicked you, sir. Just because I am old doesn't mean that I don't know how to click. I don't know what kind of place this is, but where I come from, people don't poof other people's identities by stealing their pictures. I reject you, and I denounce you as a fraud and a husband poofer! I have called the police, sir! They will be arriving shortly.
May 21, 2008 2:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
You reject and denounce me? Why, I will not be talked to that way by my wife! When we were married back in 1928, I was 10 years older than you then. And I am still your elder. You will respect my authority! The last time I listened to you was when I bought all that stock on margin the year after we were married, and see where that got us! No, I will keep on doing what I have been doing, you young whippersnapper you.
May 21, 2008 2:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
More stupid spoof thread, warning, do not read. Note the inability to spell correctly. Bah!
May 21, 2008 2:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
That must be some radioactive bacon that the Crankypants must be eating. Jeez!
I wonder do crows land on your roof? Doubt it. All that shouting and acoustic activity…
May 21, 2008 4:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
oy....it has a thesaurus on the desktop with the Wiki.
May 21, 2008 1:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Keep saying it, someone may notice!
(But where some people have a thesaurus, others have a vocabulary! Unfortunately, they're harder to patronize.)
May 21, 2008 2:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dazzle us with your vocabulary ! So far it's a bit cramped.
May 21, 2008 3:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was at another blog yet something still rang wrong in my ears. Usually that would be something from my own mistakes. Came back and found this-- I must say, the only mistake grammatically in your performance. (I'm thinking I made more by far.)
"But where some people have a thesaurus, others have a vocabulary! Unfortunately, they're harder to patronize."
I think you wanted to use "whereas" --yes?
"Where some people have a thesaurus" wouldn't speak to their abilities but to where they hang out. Whereas "whereas" would imply some comparison of their abilities. Right?
May 21, 2008 4:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bravo, Edmund Crankypants.
May 21, 2008 1:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Well when you consider that Taylor Marsh is now actively endorsing Joe Lieberman's version of Obama's foreign policy and calling McCain's position on blackballing rogue regimes so that they become even more rogue "courageous", then I suppose anything is fair game coming from a self-idenfitied Clinton supporter.
Side note: She aslo dedicated Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" to Hillary; don't you have to be blond AND dead for that to have any real salience?
May 21, 2008 2:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
WAIT, wait, wait...
Did you say Taylor Marsh had dedicated "Candle in the Wind" to Hillary? And that's not...parody?
Okay...sinking in...
Not gonna laugh or snark or anything...
Let's just let them grieve in their own way, folks. Move along - nothing to see here.
May 21, 2008 3:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
I agree. We need to have a bit of sympathy for Hillary; it's been a long, historic battle, bravely fought.
So in addition to "Candle in the Wind," I also dedicate
"To Dream the Impossible Dream" (Man of La Mancha)
and "We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful" (Morrissey)
to the incomparable Hillary.
May 21, 2008 4:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mmmmm...I feel a Top Ten List approaching...
May 21, 2008 4:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yep, that's the idea. It's you or me -- whoever gets around to postin' it first.
May 21, 2008 4:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think "Non, je ne regrette rien" (Edith Piaff) also belongs on the list.
May 21, 2008 4:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
You reject and denounce me? Why, I will not be talked to that way by my wife! When we were married back in 1928, I was 10 years older than you then. And I am still your elder. You will respect my authority! The last time I listened to you was when I bought all that stock on margin the year after we were married, and see where that got us! No, I will keep on doing what I have been doing, you young whippersnapper you.
May 21, 2008 2:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Single funniest post in a very long time--here or anywhere.
I love this writer.
May 21, 2008 2:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lars, MonicaL/Edward Crankypants (the real one, not the shithead spoofer of me toward the bottom of the thread) salutes you!
May 21, 2008 2:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
You are tooooooo convincing. We all repent and will happily vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016 - when she runs for president of Yale's old boys clubs.
May 21, 2008 3:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not from the Apo Hiking Society?
Mabuhay, bro!
May 21, 2008 3:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sir Edmund:
Brilliant, Sir. Harumph!
I shall await your next dispatch, or your appearance as a commentator on The Colbert Report, whichever comes first.
Now where did I put my spectacles... oh, of course, they're on my head. Never mind.
May 21, 2008 3:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
You are too smart to vote for McCain.
May 21, 2008 4:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh yeah, well, where did Gumby's name come from? Huh? Deafening silence? Took you THAT long to Google it? Ha.
May 21, 2008 4:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
I always said, posts about posting get the most recommends.
May 21, 2008 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Especially when they are funny.
:)
May 21, 2008 4:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
I trust you saw the Taos crack at you upthread.
May 21, 2008 5:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
in preparation for the paid McCain bloggers, we offer you this post. just checking your response time.
May 21, 2008 5:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Strangest. TPM. Thread. Ever.
May 21, 2008 5:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wow, a poster who actually saw me pitch!
May 21, 2008 5:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
that was excellent... thank you.
May 21, 2008 6:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Has this thread finally jumped shark?
May 21, 2008 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think so, but not before:
"Are you not entertained?! Is that not what you are here for?!"
Which was my favorite TPM moment ever.
It's got K-State basketball, German conversation, a spoof identity of the actual poster running around it, Sumerian history, and the paragraph about Wikipedia in the original post.
Sleep well, fine thread.
May 21, 2008 6:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, that was one of the funnier moments.
May 21, 2008 6:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
All good things have to end.
May 21, 2008 6:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Speak for yourself, laddie.
May 21, 2008 7:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
The Sumerian history was particularly riveting. As was all the word spill about existentialists. The Blue Guy's continuous bemoaning about Wiki and the Thesaurus was not bad either.
May 21, 2008 6:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bah! I made my point. Why there has to be a _thread_ following under it is mere foolishness.
I have no truck with foolishness.
And tighten that revealing corset thing on your old avatar back up! Where's that bustle skirt when you need it for propriety?
May 21, 2008 7:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Take off that bowler hat when talking to a lady...
May 21, 2008 7:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
He has impeccable manners.
May 21, 2008 7:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
My favorite was the Mr and Mrs avatar fight.
People were starting to wonder what I was up to, around here.
May 21, 2008 6:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Can't even get 100 recommends? Bah!
May 21, 2008 7:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
It is sad seeing it end short of 100. Thought it would get there. I guess he should have been nastier, more brutish, made more references to feces.
May 21, 2008 7:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
You are nasty, dirty, nasty woman. Stay away from my husband.
May 21, 2008 8:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Enid,
Pipe down will ya? I'm trying to listen to my Victrola!
May 21, 2008 8:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Poofer
May 21, 2008 8:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Poofer? Enid, you really need to take your pills more often. You're seeing things.
May 21, 2008 8:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Geez, I know the post is good and all, but you are a spoof. To click upon your persona is to see that you are not the post's author.
Leave, inadequate spoof persona. Begone.
May 21, 2008 8:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Also, end up.
May 21, 2008 7:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Eh? I can't hear you. That was apocryphal.
And apocrypha piss me off.
May 21, 2008 8:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
ARGH!
AVAST YE LANDLUBBER!
I'VE RUN YE THROUGH BEFORE
SIR ED, I'LL RUN YE THROUGH AGAIN!
I'VE LIVE YOUR LIFE
I'VE HAD YOUR WIFE
THE ONE WHO PECKS LIKE HEN!
ACQUIRE! MERGE! MARAUD! DILUTE! DILUTE!
ARGH!
May 21, 2008 9:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Edmund Crankypants,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have not had such a heartfelt laugh since....................
Well, since the last time.
To coin a phrase, "Thanks, I needed that".
May 21, 2008 10:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hysterical.
May 30, 2008 3:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
OOps, I should have read comments before responding. I'll be called out for my overt sexism. Maybe I should have chosen to say that it was full of cranky goodness!
May 30, 2008 3:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
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