I am so deeply angry at Barack Obama and his irritating young supporters.  They are not Democrats, whatever they are.  Democrats supported LBJ.  I supported LBJ.  These young Democrats think that stands for LeBron James.  Shows what they know about winning Ohio, or elections, or anything.  He never won shit and neither will they.  Anyway, since I vote on the basis of how I feel about bloggers who like Obama, and nothing else, I suggest you vote with me for the adult option in this election, John McCain, unless you feel like writing in Senator Clinton.  John McCain is the only person old enough, angry enough at Iran, and who represents enough of a rebuke to those snotty Obama supporters, to deserve my vote on the fall ballot.  There is so much wrong with Obama's snotty young bloggers.
 
For one thing, the Obama bloggers have no consciousness of history.  Not only are they oblivious to the importance of Buckminster Fuller, they are ignorant of such historical matters as SNCC (I won't tell you what it stands for, but you don't call its members Snickers) and have never heard of Stalingrad.  This will doubtless cause the Obama supporters to cluster in a city too far from Chicago until, bereft of supplies, the McCain forces surround, starve, and annihilate them.  Don't ask me what I meant by that.  They probably haven't heard of Antietam either, but don't get me started.   If they were as smart as me, they'd mention obscure Roman emperors, like Nerva.  Maybe Otho.  Or Galba.

But they aren't.  They probably don't know much about Nikolai Tesla, or John Jay.  Because they're not smart like me, they don't post links to obscure university-based discussion pages someone threw up ten years ago to prove how smart they are either.  Don't they know history is stuff that happened more than 20 years before the present, so they can't understand history, mired as they are in the present?  What irritating cocks of the walk they are.
 
Another problem is that the Obama people are a bunch of discourteous, humorless assholes.  I wiped my butt with a mailer from Obama and mailed it back to him, and laughed about it all in a thread, and people have the stones to criticize me, as if I'm the rude one.  After they thought they won the primaries, which aren't even over until Puerto Rico and Montana say so, they said jump on the happy unity pony.  And we said fuck the pony.  And they don't laugh.  Idiots.  Let's face it, they're a bunch of smug latte-sippers who wouldn't know comic genius if Jimmy Durante or Spike Jones were staring them in the face.  But they probably know less about Durante than Antietam, the twerps.  So screw 'em.  Get a sense of humor.  If they have that at barackobama.com, along with Obama-brand Kleenex and whatever.  I dare you, you uncultured brigands.
 
And I hate how the Obama people are soft on our enemies, and soft on having enemies.  What kind of a President doesn't want enemies?  Nixon had enemies.  Reagan had enemies.  Carter was a puss.  He had no enemies, at least that he picked out.  And he lasted one term, and of course he loves Obama.  Clinton?  Hell, Clinton had a million enemies.  Good for two terms.  Conflict is good for the soul.  It's Hegelian.  But you stupid Obama twerps probably don't know shit about Hegel, and don't realize that Hegelian is the adjectival form of his name.  You probably confuse him with Hagel.  Serves you right.  Back on point:  Hillary has enemies:  Iran, the vast-right-wing whatever it is, you know.  So Obama doesn't want to obliterate Iran?  No cojones, senor.  But you callow youth probably know little about cojones.  Or Kierkegaard.  I have such withering contempt for you.  Look me in my face and let me wither you.  I dare you.  I have enemies.  More than Obama.  He's not strong like me, or witty and cerebral.  But I digress.
 
Another thing that makes me mad is that the Obama people like Wikipedia.  I know this, because one time one of them mentioned it to me.  And it just pissed me off.  Wikipedia is for idiots.  I get all my news from Howard Wolfson, who knows a shit-ton more than Wikipedia.  And no one can just go on Howard Wolfson and change what he says, like you can Wikipedia.  Mostly the point is that I know more than other people, and since there was no Wikipedia when I attended college -- and I did, you know -- I say screw Wikipedia.  I'd wipe my ass with it, but I'd have to print it out first, and there's no one to angrily mail it to.  So I just called up Wikipedia on my screen, spit on my screen, and wiped my spit off it, but with a picture of Obama.  So there, you witless retards.  Take that. 
 
The Obama people don't understand the deep truths of class and race.  These truths are so deep that I cannot really articulate them in a comment or a thread.  You are too stupid to understand them anyway, Obama voter.  So trust me on this, there are deep truths about class and race, and you flout them by your criticisms of West Virginia, Bill Clinton, and Gerry Ferraro.  Who do you think you are to criticize these states and leaders?  States are smart, smarter than you, Obama kiddies.  Twenty percent of white voters took account of race in West Virginia.  So what?  Everyone's racist, depending on how you look at things, meaning so are you, so you aren't in a position to comment.  I should know, because I'm the one who gets to say everyone's racist, which preempts your response to me, which is just as well, since I don't want to hear anything you have to say.
 
I would have more to say, but they're turning off the computer again.  Assholes.  Will I vote for McCain or write in Hillary this fall?  Crap.  Depends.