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Top Ten Differences between John McCain and Jesus
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "Georgia Republican Party chairwoman Sue Everhart said Saturday that the party's presumed presidential nominee has a lot in common with Jesus Christ."
Although neither is known for being tall and both are infamous for their fiery tempers, there are actually many serious differences between John McSame and The Prince of Peace. Here are the TOP 10:
10. Jesus thought we might be able to get out of Iraq in only 80 years.
9. Whereas Christ kissed the guy who betrayed him, McCain prefers hugging.
8. Most Conservatives claim they DO like Jesus.
7. The Nazarene's father never made Admiral.
6. Jesus knows that Iran has a Shi'ite government and that al Qaeda is Sunni.
5. Our Lord and Savior, unlike the senator from Arizona, IS able to identify the Supreme Leader of Iran.
4. Christ did not lie about Barak Obama offering to negotiate with Ahmadinejad.
3. Both were tortured, but only McLame embraced both torture and George W. Bush.
2. Jesus seldom addresses women to whom he is close as "you cunt."
And the Number One difference between the Prince of Peace and John McBush:
1. Jesus was a liberal.
Comments (6)
10. Jesus rose from the dead; McCain just gets older
9. Jesus is an undocumented worker; McCain's here legally.
8. Jesus had disciples; McCain has the press corps.
7. Jesus expelled the money changers from the temple; McCain can't tell the difference.
6. Jesus served wine; McCain is served by his wife's beer distributorship.
5. Jesus visited Hell and triumped over Satan; McCain joined the Republican party.
4. Jesus fed loaves and the fishes to the people; McCain feeds BS.
3. Jesus was a single man of a certain age who hung out with other men; McCain was in the Navy.
2. Jesus said, upon this rock, I will build this Church. McCain said, upon this crock, to the Right I will lurch.
1. Jesus isn't old enough to be President; McCain's old enough to be his dad.
May 20, 2008 2:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Granddaddy, actually.
May 20, 2008 2:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am the only candidate who enjoys the backing of Jesus.
Much Love,
Hillary.
May 20, 2008 2:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
2. Jesus said, upon this rock, I will build this Church. McCain said, upon this crock, to the Right I will lurch.
Too funny.
May 20, 2008 3:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Jesus probably addressed his followers as "brothers and sisters."
McCain has an empty rhetorical crutch - "My Friends."
May 20, 2008 3:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Jesus had the 12 Apostles. McCain had the Keating 5.
Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount. McCain would take that hill if he had air support.
Jesus's kingdom was "not of this world." McCain's medicine cabinet is "out of this world."
Jesus was scorned by the Romans. McCain is scorned by conservatives.
Jesus said "Suffer the little children to come unto me." McCain said "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."
Jesus rode into Jerusalem on an ass. Make up your own punchline.
May 20, 2008 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
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