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The Neverending Primary
Have you heard the pitch for Eli Roth's new suspense thriller?
"It's a horror flick about a presidential election, sort of Bulworth meets Groundhog Day. There's this freshman Democratic Senator who's the first serious black contender, and a former first lady who's the first serious woman candidate. They battle it out in a closely matched primary that's so self-destructive they can't get the vote out in November. The Republican, a weak old warmonger who doesn't know a thing about economics, wins Michigan in a cliffhanger and takes the presidency. Then, four years later, the Democrats face off again, and it's the woman and the black guy, and they battle it out all over again, and it gets nastier then ever, and vice president Huckabee wins in a Supreme Court decision that's 9-0 because all the liberal justices are dead or retired. The Democrats lose in 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, and again in 2024 when finally Jesus Christ returns to earth to run as the black guy's vice president, you see, and on election day he raptures up all the true believers and finally the Democrats win, but America is a desert wasteland and the United States Constitution has been replaced with the Bible. Finally, the president is inaugurated and he discovers that his entire Cabinet and every member of Congress has been replaced with clones of the woman candidate, now 90 years old. He lets out a terrifying SCREAM, then fade to black!"
Comments (2)
Thanks. Now I've got that damn song stuck in my head ('Neverending Story').
And Hillary sure as hell isn't the Princess. :-/
May 30, 2008 12:55 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah, Joe,
You're just bustin' those creds to pieces.
May 30, 2008 1:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
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