That was a funny post! I betcha Michelle did give the big "O" a little chat up. For me, I wish Obama would soften little disappoints for me by calling me Sweetie. I wonder if I could get one of those mini recorders on my key chain with Obama's voice saying, "Sweetie". I could just punch the button whenever I needed a little lift after the world bumped up against me. I'm about old enough to be his mama, but he is by nature a sweetie and it would feel genuine coming from him I think. In that family picture where he's sitting on the grass with his wife and daughters, you can sure see that his girls think he's a sweetie. They're draped and melted all over him. Poor schmuck. Burned with "Sweetie gate". There are people who say those kind of things in a way that makes me want to set their hair on fire, but Obama isn't one of them.

I knew it would be on video, cringed just a tad when I watched it and knew somebody would yank his elbow and she would get an apology. Case closed :).

Bserious your blog is COOL or whatever new or politically correct word I should use.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/24/business/24gap.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

One can argue about the percentages and the reasons, but there most definitely is a pay gap. One of the reasons is that jobs that have been historically a woman's (and predominantly still are) pay less than jobs that have been historically a man's. Another reason is that women are far more likely to take time off (whether it's a few months, a few years, or longer) to raise a family. That doesn't change the fact that many women have younger men as their bosses, and that when these men call them "sweetie" it can come off as quite demeaning.

A pay gap is defined as a difference in pay for men and women in the same job.

I strongly suspect that we don't disagree once we agree on that definition. It sounds like you agree that a male nurse doesn't have a pay gap with a female nurse, nor a male doctor doesn't have a pay gap with an equivalent female doctor.

The problem with the mis-use of the term pay gap is that it gets people thinking that gender determines pay... and this is a nice emotional issue to exploit for various purposes. If you agree that gender doesn't determine the pay, but the job description does, then we agree on the fundamental point. Although I would hope you wouldn't use the term "pay gap" as it perpetuates an incorrect idea. (We agree that words matter! ;-))

I have some issues with your other statements above, however:

Jobs get paid what they get paid because of (a) perceived value and (b) skill required to complete the job and (c) number of applicants. If the jobs are worth more money, the class gets more money. If a female wants more money, she can get involved in a more lucrative field.

People who take time off from their careers should be paid less -- regardless if they are male or female. The problem is today there is a myth of "having it all" -- which is impossible. Example: Suppose a person has 10 years experience, and then goes off to raise a family for 10 years. When this person re-enters the job market, that person brings less to the table than someone who has worked 10 years straight, no time off, and is current (all other things being equal).

Society (and employers) should subsidize people who take time off for their careers. There are people who make their career their top priority -- and they are more valuable to a company.

Now, none of this has to do with using the term "Sweetie" which is unprofessional, especially when coming from a boss. But that edict comes from the fact that a boss/employee relationship (regardless of gender) isn't equal to begin with and so the boss has to be cognizant and careful with that fact.

The topic of using "sweetie", "hon", etc. in casual conversation requires context. In the south, for example, people use those terms all the time. Is it demeaning, for example, when a waitress does it to me? I don't think so. Is it demeaning if an guy smiles at a waitress and uses the term? Again, I don't think so. Do it in the northeast, where it is more unusual, then it requires more thought -- but still depends on context. I think most people can tell if something is meant demeaning or not. Intonation is critical here -- there are many ways of saying a single word. (One of the reasons why good actors get paid so much...)

The language police has gotten out of control in this regard, but I find that it usually is a small minority -- who just happen to be vocal. Usually the people that get out of control by being called "sweetie" (in a reasonable context) aren't that sweet. ;-)

I would rather be called "sweetie" than a long list of other epithets people commonly use. If Barack Obama had called me "sweetie" I wouldn't have made an issue of it.

From the snippet we get to hear -- and what we can glean from his apology -- seems Peggy was not the "lead" reporter on the story, and was just one of bunch of local newshounds trying to make their mark in front of the national media. Having walked in those shoes, I know the temptation of trying to come up with the day's "big story" or "big answer" to catch a little attention from the traveling press corps. Because maybe, just maybe, you'll get something that makes the national news, and you can add that to your portfolio. You've got your audio check, lots of video, some live stuff, maybe some anchor stuff, the heartfelt interview with the sad family, the gritty police beat stuff, the funny stuff, the investigative stuff and the political stuff. And maybe, if you're feeling really confident, you through in a few bloopers as well. It "humanizes" you.

Peggy "Sweetie-Pie" Agar could have played it off with aplomb, but she didn't. She was snotty. She made the national news, but not in a good way. She looked small and petty. And Obama came off looking... well, rather swell.

And the rest of you dwelling on it are making much ado about nothing.

Bserious

Had to drag myself away from your blog -- like it!

Up thread, a poster stated this rule, "If you are more powerful than the person you are addressing, don't call them 'Sweetie'.

That is an excellent rule and one that I break all the time...because I will address a child as 'sweetie' or 'small person' without batting an eye. But what the rule makes me think of this...perhaps Obama said 'sweetie' because he does not perceive himself to be more powerful than the reporter. I think that he revealed more about his personal perception of where power lies in that comment than he knew.