Guy Molinari: Hi, Dennis? Guy Molinari here. How ya doin! Boy, it sure is good to talk to you, been tryin to reach ya for weeks.   

Dennis: Uh, yeah I heard you called, been kinda busy, sorry I haven't gotten around to callin you back. So anyway, what's new with you Guy?

Guy: Well, as you probably know I'm sort of in charge of finding a candidate to replace Vito Fossella in the 13th.

Dennis: Yeah I heard that.

Guy: So anyway I was thinking about who'd be a good congressman, and I won't beat around the bush here, but you immediately came to mind.

Dennis: Immediately? I heard you already asked about 6 other guys.

Guy: Well yeah ok, but you were always <i>my</i> first choice, but some of the people I answer to wanted me to try some of those guys first.

Dennis: Well thanks Guy, I knew you were always a stand up guy.

Guy: So anyway Bob, I mean Dennis, whaddya think? How would you like to go to congress?! You get to live in DC, actually make legislation, lotta perks involved. You should see the gym they got!

Dennis: Geez, I dunno know Guy. After what Vito done and the last 8 years of clusterf*ck you think I'd have a chance?

Guy: Sure you would Dennis, sure you would! You gotta a great shot at it. I don't care what people are saying now, in the fall they'll come around.

Dennis: Yeah well if that's true then how come  none a dose other guys jumped at it?

Guy: Oh you know Dennis, they got family stuff,  Jimmy's got little kids, Vinnie's mom is living with him now and she don't get along so well with his wife. You know how it is.

Dennis: Yeah I guess, but look Guy I never run for anything before, I got no freakin <i>clue</i> how to run for congress. I got no money and I hate to admit this, but you're the first party guy I talked to in months. I couldn't even get any precinct committeemen around here to help me hold a garage sale last summer and I hear the local township chair up and moved to Florida without so much as saying goodbye to anyone a month ago.      

Guy: Well I ain't gonna sugarcoat it, it ain't  gonna be easy, but c'mon we can do it. This is a Republican district for chrissakes Dennis.

Dennis: Well ok, now what's this "we"? Like I said I got no money. If I do it are you gonna get me some help? I don't wanna spend the next 5 months of my life workin 20 hour days for nutin.

Guy: Well sure Dennis, sure we'll get you some help. We're not just gonna throw ya to the wolves.

Dennis: Ok like what? I figure I'd hafta have a million bucks minimum to hire people, for tv ads, mailers, walkin around money. How much you think the big boys in DCs can pony up?

Guy: Well geez Dennis, a millions a lot, it ain't like it used to be ya know what with the  recession and all.

Dennis: You gotta be f*ckin kiddin me. Why are you even wasting my time? You think I'm stupid? You know what tv costs in New York Guy. How would I win without that kinda money? If you think I'm locking myself in a room for the next 5 months and callin donors who are gonna laugh in my face and hang up on me you're nuts. Even if I did I'd still start out way behind. Ya know dat.

Guy: Aw c'mon Dennis, don't be like that, we'll get ya some help, all I'm sayin is we're hurtin right now. We got a sh*tload of seats to defend. I can't promise ya a million bucks just like that. I'd be lyin to ya if I did.

Dennis: Look Guy, I appreciate ya thinkin about me and all, I really do. Give me a week or so to sleep on it ok? I'm not makin any promises unnerstand? I just wanna think about it.
 
Guy: Ok Dennis, I hear ya. But when do you think I'll hear back from ya? I gotta know pretty soon. The big boys are breathin down my neck somethin serious here.

Dennis: I dunno. I'll call you. Let's leave it at that ok Guy?  

Guy: Ok Dennis, it's good talkin to ya. You let me know as soon as you can ok?

Dennis: Yeah sure, bye Guy.

Guy: Bye Dennis.

*click*

Dennis: Joanie! I'm callin the phone company, we're gettin our number changed and unlisted.

Joanie: What? Why? What are you talkin about getting the phone changed for?

Dennis: Don't ask.