He flips.  He flops.  He changes positions on issues so rapidly it's hard to capture him on camera without a motion blur.  
This morning, he cut 87 years off his proposed 100 year occupation of Iraq.  His new date certain is 2013.  
But if there's one thing you can count on from Papa John, it's that nothing he says or does is for certain. 
-He's for the Bush tax cuts, against the Bush tax cuts, and for the Bush tax cuts.   
-He's made an unwavering commitment to lead the fight against global warming and and he has an unwavering record that demonstrates the opposite. 
-He accepts public financing, he doesn't, he does, and never did all at the same time.  
-He asks for John Hagee's endorsement and honored to receive it, now he never asked for it but accepts it wholeheartedly and he's not that honored to accept it.  
-He drinks ethanol for breakfast, eats clean coal for lunch, and after says, "fossil fuels on me". 
At 72, it seems he just doesn't know where he is on the issues anymore.
But Karl Rove is standing in Papa John's left middle ear calling the plays. 
Or is it his far right middle ear?   Or his closer to center middle ear?