On the campaign trail and discussing his statement that the U.S. will
be out of Iraq by 2013, John McCain really said

"It's not a timetable;
it's victory. It's victory, which I have always
predicted. I didn't know when we were going to win World War II; I just
knew we were going to win," McCain said.

Luckily, we have found John McCain's diaries from the early part of his life.

August
29, 1936: My friends, I have been born. Here in the damp air of Panama,
I punched my way out of Mother just a few short minutes ago. I sense
trouble brewing all across Europe, however. Nothing America can't
handle, though.



February 11th, 1938: Despite what I've said in the past, I am now fully
committed to keep on pooping in my diapers for as long as
needed...possibly another year, maybe another twenty years, maybe a
hundred.



February 12th, 1938: Some of the other children in the neighborhood
informed me that in a hundred years I would, in fact, likely be pooping
in my diapers. They also mocked me when I said that the Sino-Japanese
war is a going to be a big winner for America.



December 6th, 1941: Five years into my life and already some people
doubt me I say that we're going to win World War II. They try to tell
me that the U.S. isn't even fighting in World War II yet which makes me
want to pummel them with my little hands. That kind of defeatism
doesn't fly around the McCain household, especially when Dad's had a
few. As for those who want some sort of magic date of when exactly
we'll win, I say..."Shut up or I'll pummel you, c&#t!!!" Mom
doesn't like it when I say that to her.



April 15th, 1942: I have named my Little Red Wagon "The Straight Talk Little Red Wagon".
I don't know why, really. I have destroyed four other little red wagons
I've had, usually when I've been hopped up too much birch beer. Some
people seem to think that we should quit in WWII. Actually, now that I
think about it, almost nobody thinks that. But I disagree anyway.
That's what I call straight talk. Damn that fifth birch beer! Time to
drive...

September
10th, 1944: Worst day of my young life so far. One of the other kids at
school is a horrible bully and he's made my life a living hell. I
decided to run against him for student council and he spread lies about
me all over school. He said that I was too young to be elected, that I
was crazy after being traumatized by a vicious game of dodgeball, and
that one of my imaginary friends was a negro. Because it's a bunch of
stupid eight year olds who believe anything, he trounced me in the
election. I think I will become his best friend and then hug him in the
cafeteria. I didn't vote for him, though. HA! Also, World War II seems
to be going well.


September 2nd 1945: I won World War II!