« previous | TPM CAFÉ READER POSTS HOME | next »
I, Lieutenant Worf, Endorse Barack Obama For President in Your Year 2008
With Barack Obama's recent victory in North Carolina, and his virtual tie in Indiana's primary, it is time for me to get off the fence. Having traveled back in time to the era in which the Star Trek television set of series aired, which is a remarkably frequent occurrence given the impracticality of time travel, I, Lieutenant Worf, from television's Star Trek-The Next Generation and Star Trek-Deep Space Nine, am now ready to declare who I support in the 2008 Presidential Campaign. I announce today my endorsement for Senator Barack Obama (D.-Ill.) and urge you to vote for him in the fall.
You may ask what about Senator Obama speaks to me, and causes me to endorse at this time. Is it biography? Surely, I am moved by the story of his humble origins, his absent Kenyan father, his mother working to make ends meet, and growing up without his father in an environment where his racial identity was unclear. After all, I, Lieutenant Worf, am a Klingon by birth, but raised by Caucasian humans, the Rozhenkos, on the farm world of Gault. So I know a little bit about absent fathers, and being a dark-skinned man, looked upon as an alien in a white world.
It was clear when Obama became the first African-American President of the Harvard Law Review that he might be someone special. This is much as it was for me. While undergoing the Rite of MajQua in the lava caves of No'Mat, the vision of the original Klingon warrior Kahless appeared to me, prophesying that I would do what no other Klingon had done. Obama's time at Harvard showed his potential for leadership and bridge building, not unlike mine at Starfleet Academy. People trash the graduates of such "elite" programs, but my time at Starfleet has served me well, and taught me about other species and their cultures. I believe that a President Obama would capably lead an increasingly diverse America, though you will not have need for his innate ability to connect with alien species, since your world will not know warpdrive until the late 21st Century.
Speaking of diversity, you may have noticed that in Starfleet, Caucasian humans are still in charge of most spaceships, for no evident reason. Yet just as twenty-fourth century humans began to move beyond that narrowness by placing Captain Benjamin Sisko in charge of Deep Space Nine, and Captain Elizabeth Janeway in command of Voyager, so are you finally learning in your primitive century that women and nonCaucasians can rule your societies. Good for you.
People have attacked the depth of Obama's grasp of economics, and also his religiosity as a Christian. I've heard that tune before. People said I didn't understand the Ferengi rules of acquisition, but I proved time and again that I do. And while my friends have thought me secular, well, I have a healthy respect for Bajoran beliefs concerning their prophets. Given our deep personal connections, I think the critiques of him hold no more water.
But there is more that I see in him. Just as the transcendental challenge of your time is Moslem extremism, so in my future it was the Borg. The Borg are as alien to us as bin Laden is to you. And if I, a Klingon by birth raised by Russian farmers, can command the Defiant in Admiral Hayes' fleet against the Second Borg invasion and fight off the Borg's would-be temporal sabotage, then I think Obama, with whom I have so much in common, can lead the fight against Islamofascism to a successful conclusion.
In conclusion, I urge you to vote for Senator Barack Obama. And since I'm from the future, and know the outcome, I'll be putting fifty thousand of your dollars on his winning, and taking "the over" at Vegas on the proposition that he will this year attain 51% of the popular vote in the American election. So please remember, g'hay'cha ("Damn it"!), vote for President Obama. I mean, Senator Obama, forgot the Stardate, sorry.









Comments (47)
Mr. Worf, I have but one question for you.
What happened to the foreheads of your people in between the time of Captain Kirk and Captain Picard, that is, between our years of the 2260s and the 2360s?
In Kirk's time, they were smooth. By Picard's time, it's clear your people had undergone significant changes to your cranial anatomy. Will you please settle this puzzling matter once and for all? Many thanks in advance for your consideration.
May 10, 2008 8:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
I seem to recall there was an episode of 'Enterprise' that explained what happened. It was also alluded to as an embarrassment that's not openly discussed in the episode of 'DS9' where the DS9 crew goes back in time to the 'Trouble with Tribbles' episode of classic Trek.
May 11, 2008 1:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is a sensitive point.
Why the obsessive focus on the cranial ridge?
You humans have cranial ridge envy, that's why.
May 11, 2008 4:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Cranial_ridge
May 11, 2008 6:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was just thinking this morning that Hillary reminded me of Captain Kirk and Obama was Captain Picard. Hillary(Kirk) would drop the Prime Directive and go off half-cocked at the drop of a hat and Obama (Picard) would drop the Prime Directive only after careful consideration.
May 10, 2008 8:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
Kaplagh.
May 10, 2008 8:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your avatar image of wrestling is honorable. Physical combat is ennobling. I bow to you, Destor23, though with my superior Klingon strength, you are surely no match for me!
May 11, 2008 4:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Make it so.
May 11, 2008 1:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
You know our Captain Picard, I see, blue woman. You resemble an Andorian, from original ST, without the antennae.
Ah, the things I could do with an Andorian female right about now . . .
May 11, 2008 4:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
Today is a good day to die.
May 11, 2008 1:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
Aren't they all?
May 11, 2008 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
...with mint frosting.
May 11, 2008 2:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Also, I think you are Lt Commander now.
May 11, 2008 2:32 AM | Reply | Permalink
You know me well, Andorian seductress.
May 11, 2008 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your trip into the multiple universes, (the multiverse episode) was one of my absolute favorites.
I assume you are speaking about the victory of President Obama in this timeline, yes? Perhaps it might comfort some of the Clinton supporters if you knew of any of the alternate time lines in which she dumps Mark Penn and votes against AUMF. It might make them feel better. It is science, after all.
Qapla!
Tlhingon Mah!
May 11, 2008 3:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is sooo DF.
May 11, 2008 5:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Methinks not
May 11, 2008 12:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Methinks Monica would know. I've never seen her and DF in the same room at the same time.
May 11, 2008 2:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
Monica is a woman as Dax is presently a woman.
People in your time, with limited notions of gender, do not understand what or who Monica is.
I will take Monica back with me after the election. If DF wants her, I will fight him to the very death.
May 11, 2008 4:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
A good guess, but this one isn't me.
May 11, 2008 5:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
DF, you would be a worthy author of this piece. I know the provenance of your avatar, and honor it.
You are one of the worthiest warriors on this site.
May 11, 2008 7:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have a question. You must know the answer.
Is Condi one of you?
May 11, 2008 10:32 AM | Reply | Permalink
I take it you were unimpressed by the barrel of bloodwine and the platter of gak that Hillary gorged down when she visited that bar in Kronos. Real non-elitist Klingons, the ones who still esteem the values of bellicosity and war, would differ with you.
May 11, 2008 12:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
You win the prize for superior comment in the thread. LtWorf has no response to that.
May 11, 2008 4:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lieutenant Worf,
While I also support Barack Obama, and am happy that you do too, I feel obligated to remind you that you took an oath, as a Star Fleet Officer, to uphold the Prime Directive. You should not be interfering with the internal affairs of another civilization.
May 11, 2008 1:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Are Klingons and Wookies distantly related?
May 11, 2008 2:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wookies are fuzzy.
Next question.
May 11, 2008 4:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Star Trek. A call for peace at so many levels. Long may the starship travel and the bold warrior fight--but for peace.
May 11, 2008 2:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
There is honor in peace, pigeon-headed flute man. There are humans, Klingons, and even Democrats who do not see this.
May 11, 2008 4:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
pleem I think you have it wrong. Bill Clinton is more like Captain Kirk dropping the prime directive to bone any pretty alien he comes across spreading his demon seed through out the galaxy.
May 11, 2008 3:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nailed it!
As did Captain Kirk, usually.
May 11, 2008 4:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please refer to him as Admiral Kirk, thank you. Yes, I am aware of the promotion/demotion issues, but I prefer to think of him as Admiral.
May 11, 2008 4:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
You're more right than wrong. However, I think of slick Willie as more of a Ferengi.
May 11, 2008 6:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lieutenant Worf,
First I want to thank you and honor your service to the Federation! The progressive blogosphere is generally anti-war, yet we understand the Federation has had to use force when necessary (the Borg--nuff said).
Secondly, your endorsement is no doubt going to be very influential throughout this galaxy, and perhaps the entire Quadrant! This is great news for Senator Obama!
May 11, 2008 3:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your loyalty to the Federation is noted gratefully.
May 11, 2008 4:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you Lt. Worf.
The Clintons have no honor.
Hillary is a Faux-warrior who disgraces the federation.
Also without honor are the rougish Hillary apologists found at Taylor Marsh and Hillaryis44.
Like the forces of Duras, Lursa and B'tor, they will be exposed for the dishonor they bring to themselves and their candidate.
May 11, 2008 4:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you Lt. Worf.
The Clintons have no honor.
Hillary is a Faux-warrior who disgraces the federation.
Also without honor are the rougish Hillary apologists found at Taylor Marsh and Hillaryis44.
Like the forces of Duras, Lursa and B'tor, they will be exposed for the dishonor they bring to themselves and their candidate.
May 11, 2008 4:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lieutenant, isn't it true that the Klingons are so stupid and preoccupied with infighting that it's not likely they would have made it as far as the invention of the vacuum tube, much less making it into space? Also, didn't you join the DS9 crew in a naked attempt to bolster the popularity of the Star Trek franchise by bringing back a major character from one of the franchise's most popular installments and shoving him into one of lesser appeal? Also, isn't it true that any enemy with a reaction time better than a drunken barfly's on a Saturday night could put three bullets into you before you've a chance to swing a big clumsy knife at him during a battle?
May 11, 2008 4:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Your comments lack honor. I am being physically restrained from smashing this primitive keyboard right now.
May 11, 2008 4:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Indeed, a warrior knows that a firearm against a blade is only good outside 20 feet. Inside that range, the warrior with a blade has the advantage. Studies of your own primitive police forces have shown that.
May 11, 2008 7:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Are Republicans Romulans?
May 11, 2008 6:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Essentially. Their ways are horribly alien to us, they provoke needless wars, they lack honor, and they are obsessed with classical cultural influences just as Romulans are knockoff Romans.
Yet there are sometimes good Romulans. The Federation can use even the unlikeliest of allies, Phoebe Fay.
Your martial shouting avatar is honorable.
May 11, 2008 7:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
OMG! What have you done with Sinbad!
May 11, 2008 7:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Lieutenant Worf, on your Twitter ( http://twitter.com/LtWorf ) I see you used the spelling Bar'ak to endorse our next president. Has he sufficiently entered into Klingon lore to have an opera written about him?
May 14, 2008 12:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
Captain Janeway's first name is Kathryn, not Elizabeth.
May 15, 2008 5:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
There are those who would argue that your endorsement of Gowron raises questions about your political judgment.
May 16, 2008 8:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Worf, i think you need to report to sick-bay. That's and order!!
May 16, 2008 8:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Post a Comment