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How the G.O.P. Got Its Groove Back

After a string of embarrassing election losses, Republicans have had enough. In a major address to the American people, Representative Jeb Hensarling of Texas, chairman of the underrated Republican Study Committee, has declared that Republicans leaders are feeling sober.

We have been sobered by three special election losses in a row. We are sobered by the massive cash advantage that Democrats have to get their message out.
After some sober study, the Republican Study Committee has concluded that Republicans need to harness all this soberness and come up with some messages and some unity. For example:
The party leadership in the House has already begun to roll out its own agenda under the rubric "The Change You Deserve," but some lawmakers have said the party needs to be more aggressive. Others are skeptical about overreacting to the elections or embracing too strong a conservative theme.
In order to encourage even more messages and unity from sober Republican lawmakers, the House leadership has encouraged them to make suggestions, arguing that the making of suggestions is "healthy and good." The members have soberly complied with the following proposals guaranteed to return American voters to the Republican fold:

Immediate moratorium on earmarks. Everyone loves bashing other people's earmarks. Unfortunately, anti-unity Republicans have rejected the suggestion, arguing that "it is a chief responsibility of representatives to win federal aid for local initiatives."

Constitutional amendment to prohibit federal spending from growing faster than the economy except in times of war or national emergency. Vague constitutional amendments that have no chance of passing never fail to excite the electorate.

Simplified flat tax. Truly, in these trying times of war and recession, Americans should not be distracted by complicated tax forms.

Tax credits for buying health insurance. Well, maybe our tax forms aren't that complicated after all.

More domestic energy production. Because the energy industry needs more tax credits, and Alaska has too many polar bears.

Streamlined terrorist surveillance program. Department of Homeland Security II.

Extend welfare work requirements to food stamps and housing assistance "so that those who are not old, young or disabled are either working in the private sector or serving in their community." After all, who doesn't love reading about malnourished children.

To summarize, the sobered Republican Study Committee has proposed nothing less than a Republican revolution: stalemates on earmark reform, empty amendment campaigns, inconsistent tax changes, energy industry handouts, environmental destruction, ineffective intelligence bureaucracies, and deprivations for poor families. As Rep. Hensarling explained, "We have to get back to our core identity."

For more details, please see the full article from the New York Times, 5/20/08.


Comments (46)

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Your support for Barack Obama is honorable.

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if that don't work, maybe you could sell them that hypno-colored lapel thingy

Geez Louise, I FINALLY get home after an hour spent on rain soaked roads and a fairly intense day to what?

To SOBER? Hell no! Those GOP teetotalers can just GFTWAIB.

I'm headed for the fridge and a nice, cheap, blue-collar beer (in honor of Kentucky) to be followed by a pretentious microbrew (in honor of Oregon!)

More drunkeness!!! More snark!!

Genghis? You've made my evening!

If you're not a House Republican, you don't have to sober. Party on, workerbee.

I googled GFTWAIB and came up empty handed. Translation?

I need a drink.

Sorry. It's actually GFYWAIB. But I changed it to GFTWAIB for purely grammatical reasons.

(hic)

I believe that you mean GFYWAIR.

M'tard.

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ouch

Bar, Rod.

I was thinking "bar."

Soberpuss!

Oops, I meant to reply to the personage above you, CP.

I should note, (hic) I'll be happy to buy you the adult beverage of your choice whenever the opportunity presents itself.

;)

Oh my head, it's spinning. Unfiortunately, with a bee a sip is as good as as a barrel

No worries, bee, I figured as much. Mmmm... almost time to go home and ditch this Republicanized(?) state of sobriety!

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Take it easy bug.

Probably shouldn't even go there, but now I'm curious... after clicking through Genghis' link below, bee, I've got to know: what does the "B" at the end of your acronym stand for?

Bar.

Heh.

(red-faced Bee)

Ah, yes. Rich, malty and, most importantly, snarky. Delicious.

There's one final item the GOP needs to complete it's new, sobered-up agenda: restore the Eighteenth Amendment.

Sounds like a winner to me.

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I mean "its." I'm drunk on power. Time to crack open a beer and play some Decemberists.

Yez.

so be kind to your mother, though she may seem an awful bother, and the next time she tries to feed you collard greens, remember what she does when you're asleep

G'night moon.......

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Genius of Genghis...

Funny, again, because it's true.

Genghis, if I wasn't agoraphobic, I'd be with you tonight at that bar you like to frequent.

BTW, has anyone ever read my friend Brad Listi's blog...or book?

http://blog.myspace.com/attentiondeficitdisorderb

Just askin'.

(Hiccup)

You're afraid of goats?

Meheheheh.

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Two of the best laugh lines:

"Because Alaska has too many polar bears."

And the last paragraph, with it's devastatingly accurate summary.

"Back to our core identity" indeed?!

Not sure what to make of this blog.

First: Dems should be rejoicing. The article itself is an indication that the GOP sees itself as being painted as the party of "old times". No wonder they want so badly to run against Hillary. It all would have been so old school.

Notice, too, that without the touted "triangulation" mentality from the Dems, you see that when you focus on your own plans and your own destiny, you force the other side to reevaluate theirs. The only thing we had to fear is fear itself.

Obama will show the Dem party how to have some backbone. Finally.

However, many of the smart-ass remarks are similar to drinking that cheap Tequila... there will be hell to pay for it in the morning. For example:

More domestic energy production. Because the energy industry needs more tax credits, and Alaska has too many polar bears.

I'll address the "energy industry" portion in a blog tomorrow (hopefully). However, many here have talked about biofuels, windpower etc. Is that not "domestic energy production"?

And as for Alaska: Yes, there will be drilling and strip mining and all of it. The Dems will be behind it just as much as the GOP: because the public will demand it. There is plenty of historical evidence for that behavior. See also: Germans denuding whole forests after WWII. No one will care about polar bears when they themselves are freezing during winter.

Many here, despite supporting Obama, don't seem to recognize his message: the GOP side of the aisle will be needed to help solve the nation's problems. Good ideas are not limited to any particular part of the political spectrum. To be so dismissive of an agenda that really does focus with serious national issues misses the point: many of the issues the GOP raises are completely legitimate and pressing.

So while everyone can feel particularly superior for smart-ass comments here, recognize that the GOP is apparently scared as hell -- and they will surely be pandering to the same people (and with the same techniques) that Hillary proved so valuable during her campaign. We poo-poo articles such as this at our own cost.

Or to go the final analogy here: this blog may taste great -- but there's no filling.


It's pooh-pooh.

Rendering it "poo poo" shows you've been arguing with Glad too much.

No, I meant "crapping" all over the articles like the one cited...

My review of that comment: eh.

I like the uplift about nonpartisan critical thinking. Sure. I'm all for it. It'd be nice to do more of that on this blog, and less "rah rah boo boo."

But okay, so what are the great ideas in this GOP agenda that you think we should borrow? More domestic energy production? Well, I can tell you that domestic energy production is in fact going to increase. We don't need to do much to make that happen. The question is, what kind of energy, at what social cost? I'm not really feeling the GOP's brilliance there.

Honestly, it's a pretty lame agenda. It's the sort of thing we used to come up with in 1982, when our real agenda was "Hold onto power by repeating all the slogans that used to work for us, and throw monkey wrenches at the other side."

So hell yeah, let's poke some fun at them, and hope they lose Congressional seats.

Also, I really appreciate Genghis's effort to get us to pay attention to the legislative branch. I support Obama, but this election is not just about the Presidency. And supporting Obama is definitely not going to make me approach Congressional races in a less partisan way. There's time enough for bipartisanship *after* the election.

Yeah, I know:

GOP = bad, Dem = good

meanwhile the other side is claiming

Dem = bad, GOP = good

Is it any wonder a huge chunk of the country decides there is no difference between the two?

So many here would rather hear their own views repeated back to them, rather than think a bit more deeply.

In addition, you had a really narrow read of what I wrote: learning the ways of the other side, will make your own campaign stronger.

Time to go read THE ART OF WAR.

But okay, so what are the great ideas in this GOP agenda that you think we should borrow?

Good question. I can't think of a single one, which I do believe was the point of this post.

The GOP has gone from reasonable conservatism to radical and slavish corporatism. They are exactly what Eisenhower warned about, the dreaded MIC. They are largely responsible for the sucky state of affairs we have now, nor do I hear anything new from them. It's "God, gays, and guns," the "politics of fear", and the wagging finger of "class war!"

Frankly, the best thing I could hope to happen is that the GOP implodes, dissolves, and oozes back under the rocks it came from. Then perhaps the reasonable 'conservatives' can form a new party worthy of being taken seriously.

It's utterly ridiculous to whine about "listening to the enemy" when we're busy demonizing about half of our own party. Frankly, having a common enemy will likely do more to heal that rift than anything.

CT, surely you know that I'm no Dem hack. I was not so much sending up the ideas themselves, but the idea that these ideas will galvanize voters.

Regarding the ideas themselves, while some have value, Republican execution of them during their years in power was pathetic. If "more domestic energy production" means energy industry tax incentives to explore domestic fossil fuel sources, as it meant under Bush and the Republican legislature, then no, it's not a good idea. (If, of course, it means investment in alternative energy sources, then great.) Similarly, streamlined terrorist surveillance would be great, but that was Bush's idea. That was why Homeland Security was created in the first place. Some streamlining.

CT, surely you know that I'm no Dem hack.

Of course not. Believe it or not, I do take your posts seriously (or at least as seriously as they are meant to be taken).

If "more domestic energy production" means energy industry tax incentives to explore domestic fossil fuel sources, as it meant under Bush and the Republican legislature, then no, it's not a good idea.

This point will soon be rendered moot in my view. As the impending crisis of energy grows, every nation will do what it needs to do to look at resources within it's borders. There will be no environmental concern. There is nothing to suggest that Americans are greedier than any other part of the world.

Similarly, streamlined terrorist surveillance would be great, but that was Bush's idea. That was why Homeland Security was created in the first place. Some streamlining.

Fair is fair here. One of the few things that Bush really got right (albeit for the wrong reasons) is that initially he was against the formation of the DHS. It was Congress that pushed for it -- and the Dems were part of that.

Bush was against it because the neo-cons (remember them?) really wanted to whittle government down, and the DHS would only bring more government in. (Ironically, only Bill Clinton - a Dem - was able to reduce the government size in the modern era.)

DHS does need significant streamlining. What happened was that monies that used to be dispersed to all type of Federal agencies for security issues (including US Forest Service, Coast Guard, and plenty more organizations that don't usually pop up when people think about the government) got funneled to DHS. DHS then had to have a "master strategy" to spend this money. Well, this type of centralized planning was dopey when the Soviets tried it, and it's dopey now.

Instead, we bloated the infrastructure, and now spend much of that money for the bureaucracy of the DHS. To make matters worse, DHS has done so poor a job, in general, that Congress had spank them in public last year...and cut their budget.

Okay, now we have even less money going to homeland security than we did before 9/11!

Moreover, the bureaucracy at the DHS is so dizzying, that there are week long mini-courses for Congressional aides to understand how DHS is organized. These mini-courses aren't for the student interns, but the seasons legislative assistants.

So, yes, the DHS needs serious streamlining. You are less well protected today than before 9/11 in many aspects. And all because Congress lumped all of government under one bin. Interestingly enough, it was one time when Bush was subjected to a certain action because of political fear-mongering.

You will see similar twists and turns regarding energy issues -- when enough of the public demands something, politicians listen; regardless if it makes sense or not.

The first time read this I assumed that you made this all up. I thought that "Rep. Jeb Hensarling" was an obviously made up name for a member of Congress.

But then I dared to click on the link, fearing where it would take me, and there it is in the Times of NY.

The economy is in the toilet and they want to make sure that people getting food stamps are working hard enough?! They want to talk about fiscal responsibility as we burn billions in Iraq?!

Maybe they need a few drinks - I'd certainly be drinking heavily if I were them.

As Rep. Hensarling explained, "We have to get back to our core identity."

Core identity? Sounds like he's been drilling somewhere...

um, mayhap I don't want to know...

I say they should just Party On. Booze, women (sometimes Congressional pages), fat Cayman Island accounts, Bomb-bomb-bomb Iran, what fun to be had!

Dear Dr. Qenghis,
I'm writing from the heartland of the usa. I'm concerned and much afraid that the political Blattaria's going from being puke drunk on power to being puke drunk on alcohol, will produce many sidewalks covered in puke. Will we have to raise taxes on the middle class to build way-side barfotoriums?

Sincrely,
Concerned.
[age 9]

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Immediate moratorium on earmarks.
Ahahahahaha!, that'll kill their remaining House members like Judy Biggert(IL-13) who have nothing else to run on but bringing home the bacon.

Constitutional amendment to prohibit federal spending from growing faster than the economy except in times of war or national emergency.

It'll be fun to ask the clowns over at Protein Whizzdom, Are we at WAR!!? Do you think we're at WAR!!! You don't even think we're at WAR!!! If you understand that apparently some wingnut wrote something idiotic a few years ago about Dems not believing, you guessed it we're at war. It was bizarrely all the rage on the fringe for awhile.

Simplified flat tax Because the hardest part of doing your taxes is looking up the chart when you finish your calculations to see what you owe. I knew Bill Bradley would never be president when he want on Letterman back in the 1980s and held up a postcard and said under the Reaganite plan he supported it was all we'd need to fill out to pay our taxes.

Tax credits for buying health insurance.
Reminds me of Newt's brilliant idea to give tax credits to people making under $10,000 to buy laptops in the 90s. He stopped having breakfast with reporters after they quoted that gem.

More domestic energy production.
Most of the beach houses in this country are owned by fatcats who will no longer contribute to any party that puts oil rigs in the water off the beaches in SC, NJ, FL, CA or anywhere else Republicans get their cash. Jeb Bush knows this, why doesn't the rest of the Republican party?

Streamlined terrorist surveillance program.
Because anyone who doesn't think the FISA court is chock full of Al Qaeda operatives is a fool!

Extend welfare work requirements to food stamps and housing assistance "so that those who are not old, young or disabled are either working in the private sector or serving in their community."

Like hell you're not gonna work on Maggie's farm no more hippie! Working in the community to Republicans = debtor prisons with chain gang work farms.

To all, I apologize for the avatar change. It's related to a joke on another thread. It won't last long.

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Republicans have never been groovy.

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Except the time when Nixon went on Laugh-In. That was groovy.

It is always nice to know what the republicans are up to... sober or not.

Question about June 14: My new place will hold no more than 3 people, and there is already a location in my city, but I would still like to help. What can I do to help other than host a location?

Not sure at this point, but I'm sure will think of something. If you haven't already, friend Genghis on mybo (or me if Genghis is too scary). We'll keep you in the loop.

I did friend him. In fact, I hadn't known about the 'friend' feature before I friended him and so now he is my only friend there. And yes, that is scary. I think I feel much less afraid if you are my friend too.

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I lived in Texas when Hensarling ran his first House campaign. His entire pitch was focused around one of the most offensively fear-mongering ads I've ever heard in which one old person in a creaky voice worried aloud to another even creakier voiced old person about whether Jed's opponent was going to be able to keep them safe from terrorists.

And that's all it was, and that's the only ad he ran. And it worked. Because it was 2002.

He's a piece of shit.

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Good dear God. The hierarchical Republicans ARE getting desperate!

In order to encourage even more messages and unity from sober Republican lawmakers, the House leadership has encouraged them to make suggestions, arguing that the making of suggestions is "healthy and good."

Suggestions from the (*gag*) rank and file?? This is a symptom of pure panic!

For Republicans to say that "the message" will not come from on high from accepted leadership is something unique in my experience. They are bankrupt!

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