Politico puts up an article this morning offering "Five Things to Watch In West Virginia." Here are the real things to watch in West Virgina this evening.

5. Whatever is on (COMEDY CENTRAL) -- Make it easy on yourself. Whip up your favorite snacks, put your feet up, baby and give yourself some belly laughs with a Comedy Central night. From Stewart and Colbert through Carlos and the South Park kids, just enjoy!

4. Simply Red followed by Simple Minds! (T101) -- if you're watching DirecTV, catch this concert even if it's only to hear mega-hit "Holdin' Back the Tears." Enjoy some ginger tea and ginger biscuits with this ginger band. Stay in that 80s groove with Simple Minds! who will ask "Don't You Forget About Me" during this concert from Paris. We won't mind if you pop "The Breakfast Club," into the old VCR.

3. Burning the Future: Coal in a America (SUNDANCE) -- A documentary on the people of West Virginia fight government and coal companies to preserve their way of life.  Apropos, ne c'est pas?

2. Imagine: John Lennon (OVATION) -- for the "egg-heads," a documentary on the life and times of John Lennon and the Beatles.

But the best show this evening will be simulcast:

1. American Idol (FOX, FOX NEWS, MSNBC, CNN, C-SPAN, others) - the top three finalists perform...

John McCain -- "Johnny One-Note", known for his stirring rendition of "Bomb Iran" and "100 Years" -- a remake of the folk song "100 Miles." McCain seems to think that just singing the same song week after week will make it a hit. Although he has some followers, they're getting restless and would like to hear something different. His big problem is that his backup singers -- Joe "Loony Tunes" Lieberman and Lindsay "I wish my name was Buckingham" Graham sing the same one note as McCain so there's no harmony, just something that sounds more and more like three horns honking.

Hillary "Duff" Clinton -- she cannot carry a tune proved time and again with her off-key, "pitchy" rendition of the National Anthem, her tasteless remake of Randy Newman's "Short People," which she re-did as "White People," and then claimed that she never wrote the offending lyrics, she was only singing them. The big problem idol voters have with Hillary -- aside from her inability to -- "um, she can't sing, dawg!" -- is that she hasn't figured out who her musical inspriation is, let alone her own musical biography. Gone is Earth Mother Stevie Nicks and with her (thank you Baby Jesus!) is the incessant, repetitive "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow," (ya think?) replaced by a confusing rotation of music by one-hit wonders (Vicki Lawrence's "That's the Night That the Lights Went Out in Georgia," for example -- a huge loser during the Georgia primary, by the way), a very militant version of  Helen Reddy's, "I Am Woman" (the growling was disconcerting) and an oddly threatening version Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical." This week we learned she grew up in Butcher Hollow, KY, a poor, coal miner's daughter and her husband, Bill, now wants people to call him "Doo." Someone really needs to tell her the big hair and flouncy dresses aren't working.

Barack "Kool and the Gang" Obama -- also known by the nickname "Silky Smooth," Obama has delivered the best and most consistent performances this season.  Obama smartly came into the competition with a complete orchestra to back him up with a musical repetoire that played to his strengths. From Although he didn't do well when forced to perform the "Pennsylvania Polka" or the John Denver "classic" "Country Roads," -- that phony throat catch is clearly not his cup of tea -- he delivered a mesmerizing Barry White-style, "My First, My Last, My Everything," strong enough to keep in well ahead on points (getting high marks in Philly) during the Pennsylvania and during Indiana, buoyed by the backup singing of Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp was convincing enough on "Jack and Diane," to sway Idol voters and nearly pull off the upset win. Obama continues to defy conventional wisdom with "Nature Boy," combining elements of the Nat King Cole standard with the jazzy George Benson remake. He took the catchy, infectious Bobby McFerrin hit "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and used it to buoy his fans during a brief stretch when he was inexplicably behind Hillary in the Vegas showdown. (You'll remember Obama was criticized as "anti-Elvis" for not donning the Elvis gear that week.) He used Ray Charles' "Georgia on My Mind" to clobber his competitors during the southern swing. Tonight, down in Cape Girardeau, MO, at a special non-Idol concert that will be included in the extended Idol broadcast, look for him to surprise with classics from Fats Domino,"Kansas City," Ike and Tina Turner, "Rollin' on the River," Lou Rawls, "Tobacco Road," among the songs released from playlist.