Okay, after having watched this mob assemble and tear apart website after website in real-time, I have come to the conclusion that a there has been a mass outbreak of a terrible disease. A disease that has turned people to demons and corpses. I am speaking, of course, of the infamous Hinamizawa Syndrome. But not just any strain. No, I have termed this strain the Type-ABC Hinamizawa Syndrome after doing extensive investigations on both the disease itself and the event that has caused the recent outbreak.

Now, my dear delusional patients, to understand the horror that has conquered your minds, I must first explain to you its origins. Hinamizawa Syndrome was first discovered during World War II, when soldiers invading the Shishibone region of Japan would begin to act deranged and psychotic, even attacking their comrades. Over time, the disease had been kept a secret by the Japanese government until someone from that prefecture made a fortuitous journey to... RUSSIA. Needless to say, when the first deranged patients started popping up there, a country with nuclear weapons, the Japanese could keep it a secret no longer and allowed the other G-7 (and eventually G-8) countries know about the danger that was spreading throughout their borders. The governments worked rapidly to try to contain the people without scaring the populi by keeping it a secret, but to no avail.

Most people infected with Hinamizawa syndrome would never know it until a stress of great enough magnitude sets the symptoms off. It was thought that nothing short of torture (which was plentiful in Russia, of course) could set it off, and thus the populi could remain safe. Until ABC issued the one thing even more stressful than torture to a mass audience: a god-awful presidential debate.

There are five stages to Type-ABC Hinamizawa syndrome.

Level 1: A mild sense of forboding whenever the words "Obama," "Clinton," "bitter," "Reverend," "right," "Gibson," "Stephanopopopopo..." (needless to say, there's little to worry about with this one), "Bosnia," and "-gate" are mentioned.

Level 2 : A sudden aversion to anything having to do with network news or the latin alphabet. Sudden fixations on the hidden meanings of flags in various conspicuous locales at this point is also common.

Level 3: A sense that someone is constantly following you. You may even hear the words, "And from all of us at ABC News, I hope you have a good night" repeated over and over again, following you wherever  you go.

Level 4: At this stage, full-on paranoia tends to occur, usually upon the discovery that you can't figure out how to spell your own last name. The voice that was following you before becomes louder and more persistant, now asking an explanation for why you haven't denounced and rejected your co-worker yet after you watched him stick his ABC (oh no!) gum under the table and other such nonsense.

Level 5: The fatal stage. This usually results in a full-on psychotic break from reality. The subject usually smashes any glass screen in sight, televisions in particular, and murders anyone who so much as mentions politics. Eventually, you become convinced that George Stephanopoulos has been using your vocal cords the entire time and the cause of death is usually managing to scratch out one's own throat.

I fear that a mass-detonation of this disease has occurred, and so I must ask anyone who has seen the recent Philly debates to please lie down so I can give you a dose of C103. Don't worry, I am indeed a trained physician. Pay no attention to the crayon on my diploma.

(To anyone who would wish to learn more about the horrendous disease you are suffering from, I urge you to go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higurashi_no_Naku_Koro_ni)