President Bush at his joint press conference with Mexico's President
(who was wearing a Mexican flag pin because he supports the troops),
and Canada's Prime Minister:

"
One of the things -- people ask, well, does it make sense for Mexico,
Canada and the United States to meet? Absolutely, it makes sense. We're
neighbors."

OK, so no one, seriously no one, has
ever suggested that it doesn't make sense for the leaders of Mexico,
Canada and the U.S. to meet with each other. And assuming someone ever
did (and trust me, no one has), what would the person nearest to him
say in response? "Dude, we're fucking neighbors. Of course our leaders
are going to meet, dumbass."

Other fun quotes from that speech:

"New Orleans is one of America's really top cities."

There's that Yale education.

On why Congress needs to pass a free trade agreement with Columbia:

"It
makes no sense to me to say that Colombia goods can come into our
country duty-free, yet our goods can't go into Colombia duty-free. And
yet that's the case."

Yeah, so Columbia's the one who puts duties on American products, not our Congress.

"People
say, well, are you really committed to global -- to reducing global
warming? Absolutely. As a matter of fact, I gave a speech in the Rose
Garden the other day that made it abundantly clear the United States is
for an effective climate agreement that includes binding commitments
from all major developed and developing economies. I will continue to
work toward that end."

Oh
right, I remember that. its the exact same thing you said to justify
not signing the Kyoto protocol or taking any measures to stop global
warming for the last 7 years.



Hillary Clinton after her
win in the Pennsylvania primary, which insured that she will still lose
the Democratic nomination, but will be able to raise enough money in
the meantime to pay off some of the debt she's been racking up while
ensuring Obama loses a close presidential race marred by accusations of
vote tampering and racist Republican propaganda (well founded
accusations, by the way):

"Some
counted me out and said to drop out. But the American people don't
quit. And they deserve a president who doesn't quit, either."

So
which of the other two candidates is the quitter? Oh, right, neither of
them. So your statement makes no goddamn sense. I mean, whoever gets
elected, in any election, for any office, at any time - didn't quit.
That's how it works. Except for that dead guy who got elected to
Congress. He sort of quit, but it wasn't his fault. Because he died.

Maybe
this is a good time to mention that electing someone based on her
"experience," when that experience consists entirely of being married
to someone who held high office, then being elected to the Senate based
on her husband's fame, is one of the most chauvinistic things I can
think of. How about a Laura Bush/Lurleen Wallace ticket in 2012?
(Except for Lurleen being dead for 40 years.)

I'm all for having
a female president, but lets not fool ourselves into thinking that
electing Hillary Clinton would be a huge step forward for women.
Electing the wife of a popular official after his term has expired has
been going on in the most backward states in the country for almost a
hundred years. How about women getting together sometime (you're well
over half the electorate by the way), and putting forth a legitimate
self-defined female candidate? Barbara Boxer? Madelein Albright? The
parts of Nancy Pelosi that haven't yet been poisoned by Botox? Having
one of them in office would actually make some difference. Electing
Hillary Clinton puts us where Wyoming and Texas were in 1925.