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Pins! Pins! Pins!
I don’t know how you can vote for Barack Obama when he refuses to wear and American flag pin on his lapel. I’m not questioning his patriotism, I just wonder if he loves America.
Also, I feel very strongly about lapel pins.
I own thousands of pins.
Pins are how Americans express themselves.
The first pin was worn by Samuel Adams just before the Declaration of Independence. It said “FUKGIII” which was a clever way of delivering a stearn “FU” to “King George III” but still gave Adams plausible deniability (when pressed, he’d claim it was the logo of a European clothing designer).
During the Civil War pins were very important. Because it was a fight between Americans, all the soldiers looked alike (they all looked American). Union and Confederate flag lapel pins were the only way that the combatants could tell each other apart. Had the Union troops not worn their pins Abraham Lincoln might have gotten confused and led the South the victory. It is from these times that we get the saying “Don’t shoot until you can see their lapels.”
Now that I’ve educated you, I have to sign off because I have to go back to work at the lapel pin factory. Yes, I’m one of the few Americans who makes pins for a living. Before NAFTA when they sent all the good pin jobs to Mexico, all pins were made here. But I’ve got my job so I’m not bitter.
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