Gather 'round, and I will tell you a story of Patriotism.
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Have you ever been to the Special Olympics?  It is sad, but also nice.  People who are hurt play games, just like healthy athletes.  In the end, they all get prizes.  The audience always applauds, and most people cry a little.  Families say they are proud, but let me tell you an awful secret-- most everyone applauds or cries because they feel guilty!
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Every few years, we also have Special War.  In war you know, soldiers shoot each other until the losers are dead.  But in Special War, a lonely, forgotten army gets to finally have some fun!  The Special War soldiers get to shoot farmers, drive tanks over little girls, and steal lots of money for their country.  It's not as hard as war, but everyone applauds and cries for the special soldiers, because they feel guilty!  We call that feeling "Patriotism."
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Once, there was a Special War called Vietnam.  In that Special War, there was a very special soldier called John "My Friends" McCain, 847.  He was bad at flying planes, and one day a farmer shot his plane down!  The farmers didn't have nuclear bombs, so they hit him with sticks and fed him bad food for a long time.  When the Special War was over, and John came home, everyone felt guilty.   They gave him lots of prizes like a new rich wife.  His biggest prize was the title of Senator, which is like a little king who takes bribes.
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But then a very bad thing happened.  Many years later, there was another Special War called the Iraq War.  John went to the television, and told the people it was a real war!  And whenever he did, everyone felt too guilty to correct him.  Whenever a special soldier shot lots of farmers, John would say "we killed the evil terrorists, we are winning!"  Even though he was lying, people felt too guilty, too patriotic to tell him so.  If a tank would drive over little girls, John would say "we killed the evil terrorists, we are winning!"  Even though he was lying, people felt too guilty, too patriotic to tell him so.  And whenever the special army stole money for their country, John would say "we killed the evil terrorists, we are winning!"  Even though he was lying, people felt too guilty, too patriotic to tell him so.
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So, the next time you go to the Special Olympics, think of the patriotic story of John "My Friends" McCain, 847.  Make sure to applaud and cry, because you don't want anyone calling you a monster!  And the next time a Special War comes around, make sure to applaud and cry, because you don't want anyone calling you unpatriotic, my friends!