No, I mean literally.  Have you been paying attention to the stuff they have to eat when they're on the trail?  Obama's eatin' waffles one day and pancakes the next. Hillary's knockin back boilermarkers.  Fried steaks, endless pieces of mediocre pie.  Maid Rite sloppy joes.  Greasy spoons, local diners and taverns, day after day.   

And God forbid a candidate ever get caught eating salad in public!  They'd be pilloried for their elitist eating habits in no time flat. "Can't you just picture them, after a week of complementing the fine chicken fried steak and cheese steaks, burgers and cherry pie and Sal's Blue Collar Just Folks Eats?*  It's like they get on the plane and its like "I need you to sneak off the plane and get me some a spinich salad--if I don't get some roughage ASAP, I'm going to die!"

No one can take this kind of diet for this long.  It's like watching "Supersize Me" stretched out over fifteen months.  The whole campaign diet is premised on the assumption that the candidate can quit it no later than Super Tuesday and not pick it up again until after the convention. 

And now, most horrifying of all, they're in Indiana, land of one of the most horrifying local delicacies in all of America: the brain sandwich.  Yes, you heard me right . . . braaaaains!  Pig brains, battered and fried.  But still, shades of George Romero.  Just a matter of time before one gets stuck into their faces, with thousands of votes depending on whether they eat it.  (Prediction: when it happens, Obama will demur, gracefully if he's had a decent night's sleep, grouchily if not, which will result in five days of sneering headlines on Politico, ABC and Fox.  Hillary will get that wide eyed look, then she'll pick it up and tear into that bitch while fondly recounting stories of eating brains when she was a little girl growing up in Indiana.) 
 
You can bet McCain ain't eatin this crap right now.  Make a decision soon, superdelegates and voters, while their lipids are still salvagable. 

*Oh, and Hillary and Barack?  Important advice for travelling in North Carolina: know your barbeque.  There are two kinds, Eastern and Western.  Eastern is a whole hog chopped kind chunky and served with french fries, cole slaw and "dip" (sauce) made of vinegar with some hot pepper flakes and some secret stuff they'd have to kill you if they told you.  Western is pork shoulder chopped fine.  The dip is basically Eastern dip with a squirt of ketchup dissolve in it and the slaw is shredded cabbage mixed with dip.  The fries are the same.  Here's the important part--if anyone tries to corral you to offer an opinion on which is better, this is a trick question which you must not answer.  The person asking it is trying to draw you into an ancient theological dispute that makes the Thirty Years War or the Sunni Shi'ite split look like tiddlywinks!  Flee!  If you want the votes of both halves of the state, duck, dodge and evade this question.  "I like both equally" is not an acceptable answer.