June 8, 2008.  After narrow losses in Pennsylvania and Indiana, large victories in North Carolina, Oregon, and Montana, narrow wins in Montana and Guam, and fifteen point losses in Kentucky, West Virginia, Puerto Rico, Obama is the nominee apparent, as superdelegates swing to him in numbers sufficient to assure his nomination.  Clinton campaign leaves behind it wave of debt reminiscent of Reagan administration.  Bloggers tearfully reminisce about campaign.  Patti Solis Doyle admits having worked for Obama from January 2007 through February 2008, goes into hiding.

June 9, 2008.  While viewing Zapruder-like loop reel of Hillary's concession speech, Chris Matthews makes awkward remark about her cleavage, is fired.

June 10, 2008.  Obama opts out of public financing system, citing internet as parallel system of public financing, sets goal of raising $200 million for general election.  He raises $310 million for general through Election Day, and outspends McCain nearly 4 to 1, more on unprecedented get out the vote effort, but also on media, in attempt to flip host of historically red states.  McCain rails against hypocrisy of Obama, stays in public system because of fear he can't raise $100 million.

July 20, 2008.  John Paul Stevens dies.  Democrats refuse to confirm Bush's hastily nominated successor, (Obama's law review colleague and) Bush Solicitor General Paul Clement, which becomes election football.  Obama cites need for balance in high court in refusing to support a vote on Clement, while Senate Dems simply say appointment is illegitimate.  Republicans later establish 527 to make Supreme Court appointments an issue in general election in effort to rouse religious right, and to attack Democratic nominees in the event Obama wins.

August 26, 2008.  Obama picks Jim Webb for VP, attempting to win Virginia.  Webb ends up helping Dems narrowly win Pennsylvania, while Dems lose Virginia almost as narrowly as Webb won it.  Webb outperforms Kasich in Presidential debates, creates minor stir by remarking after convention that he was the only white guy up there on Denver stage with Barack and Michelle Obama, and his own wife, Hong Le Webb. 

Speculation that McCain and Webb both shacked up with current (younger, hotter) wives during prior marriages briefly rouses blogosphere, leads Navy guys to tout their shared virility.

September 2008.  McCain, picking John Kasich as VP, experiences smallest convention bounce in modern history (5%), given permanent campaign and saturation coverage of it all year.  Since Obama's post-convention lead peaked briefly at 12%, and shrunk quickly, race settles into dynamic after GOP convention in which Obama leads by no more than 4%, and McCain briefly leads by 1-2%.  Very stable polling, with media intoning every three minutes that "turnout will decide this one."  Profiles of independent voters and Hillary voters undecided about whether to vote Obama-Webb, stories about ubiquitous Obama organizers become so numerous, waves of nausea from saturation coverage roil electorate.

October 2008.  Obama campaign accepts Bill Clinton's offer to campaign for Obama-Webb, sends him to places even more obscure than those Hillary sent him to in spring. 

Hillary Clinton, who continues spring pattern of never being in same state as Bill, campaigns in western Pennsylvania, central Ohio, and southern California.  Closer to election, she campaigns in suburbs of major cities in northeast, upper Midwest, and West, in tandem with Speaker Pelosi, Senator McCaskill, and other leading woman Dems, which helps at the margins in these areas.

November 4, 2008.  Obama-Webb win with 278-260 electoral votes, winning Colorado, Nevada, and Michigan, but losing Ohio.  Nevada and New Hampshire go late, leading to speculation that if McCain won their nine electoral votes, or Colorado's, election would be decided in House of Representatives, which turns out in light of Dem House pickups to have been a path to Obama-Webb win anyway.  Obama-Webb put many red states in play:  Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, North Dakota, Montana, Alaska, Virginia, but lose all of them, albeit by less than 5%.

Democrats pick up five Senate seats, most surprisingly, Mark Begich toppling Ted Stevens in Alaska.  Democrats pick up 15 seats in House, solidifying hold on Congress.

Hillary supporters do not return to the fold as frequently as expected, keeping popular vote 50-49%.  Obama-Webb win 83% of Democrats, but win independents by 58-42%, helping them hold Pennsylvania, where McCain's embrace of NAFTA, saturation ads on that issue, and Obama's army of organizers prove fatal.  McCain wins Ohio easily.

January 5, 2009.  The new House and Senate sworn in, Dick Cheney resigns, citing heart trouble.  Condoleeza Rice sworn in as Vice-President.  Eugene Robinson writes another effusive column about her.

January 19, 2009.  Having correctly personalized the whole 2008 election, presented by Democrats as a referendum on his misrule, and annoyed at all of those 1.20.09 bumper stickers, Bush resigns a day early in favor of Vice-President Rice.  This has the effect, salutary for him, of allowing him not to welcome President Obama, while masking his churlishness by one-upping the Democratic Party by appointing the first black President.  Thus, like John Adams, who presided over the criminalization of dissent and left the capital early, without welcoming his successor, Jefferson, or perhaps like Isiah Thomas and the Bad Boy Pistons leaving the 1991 Eastern Conference Finals seconds before the Jordan Bulls swept them away without shaking hands, W. slinks away into deserved ignominy . . .