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Is Hillary Behind My Brain Dysfunction?
Have you been feeling "fuzzy" lately? Blinded by passion? Addled by rage? Do you find yourself ranting about MSM unfairness and the well-known bias of certain TPM staffers? (I won't name any names but it rhymes with "Breg Bargent".) Do you hurl potted plants at your television or periodically spit on your monitor? Do you pound the "recommend" button manically when you see an anti-Hillary post, even though it only works the first time? Have your purchased five or more computers so that you can vent your anger through multiple recommendations?
You might be suffering from Hillaria. This dangerous disease has now been exposed by a brilliant expose at Daily Kos: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/4/29/75840/7712/999/505469. According to the article, in 2007, the Clinton campaign's Secret Opposition Research Division In Detroit (SORDID), developed a deadly new virus designed to blunt the wits of Obama supporters. Pretending to offer skin-whitening treatment, SORDID experimented on thousands of unsuspecting Detroiters of color, including the Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. CDC experts have blamed the virus for the reversal of Detroit's meager economic gains in recent years, as well as a number of asinine text messages that Mayor Kilpatrick sent to lover Christine Beatty.
The virus targets the amygdala, the emotional center of brain, heightening feelings of anger, while at the same time interfering with neural connections in the cerebral cortex. Hillaria victims are prone to bouts of rage, hyperventilation, and excessive application of capital leters. In advanced stages, it can lead to foaming at the mouth and melanomic changes. Victims' skins often taken on a greenish color, leading some to call Hillaria, "Troll's Disease".
For reasons unknown, the virus only targets supporters of Barack Obama, although the CDC is concerned that it could leap to supporters of John McCain should Clinton win the Democratic nomination. While the specific transfer mechanism is unknown, the disease appears to spread through Internet blogs. If so, this would be the first time that a real virus has been transmitted virtually. Among blog communities at Talking Points Memo and Daily Kos, the disease appears to have reached epidemic proportions, and the CDC may soon impement quarantines of these sites. If you suspect that you have contracted the disease, CDC advises you to turn off your computer immediately and avoid news sources for at least three weeks. Without stimulus, the virus can be destroyed by the body's natural defenses, but it may remain dormant for several months, so victims should continue to take precautions until September.
Comments (106)
No, it was the kool aid.
Wright poisoned it.
April 29, 2008 2:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nice one goatboy. You should do more wit and less rant.
April 29, 2008 3:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
BRAIN DYSFUNCTION PREREQUISITES
FIRST: Acquire a brain.
NEXT: Locate others with similarly small brains.
LAST: Combine IQ's for requisite dysfunction.
(insert pouty face Obama donaters here)
April 30, 2008 1:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you, RenStimpy. I'm honored that you've graced my thread with your snark. I was beginning to think that you didn't care.
And yes, I confess that your piercing wit has brutally exposed the fat naked truth in all its obesity. There is no such thing as Hillaria. We Obama supporters suffer from microencephalitis.
PS Surely you can do better
April 30, 2008 2:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Boom-shaka-laka!
April 29, 2008 4:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Never post without protection!
You don't know what you might get on you.
Desidero was spewing all over the place for weeks! I had to buy industrial strength rug cleaner and a robot scrubber brush to remove bits of it off the rug.
And do keep an eye on your pets.
April 29, 2008 2:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes. When you post with someone, you're also posting with everyone they've ever posted with.
April 29, 2008 3:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
That's why I blog in full head-to-toe armor, in a small room in the dungeon.
April 30, 2008 12:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
I blog in the tool shed while wearing a latex wrap, mask, hat and gloves and protective eye gear.
April 30, 2008 1:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
I blog naked in the public baths. I am fearless.
April 30, 2008 1:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
where? can I watch?
April 30, 2008 6:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
This is your second reference to being naked in 24 hours. Are you trying to tell us that in your next avatar you'll be shirtless?
April 30, 2008 10:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
I feel that I am suffering a bout of Hillaria. I would like to try the recommended course of treatment, but I find that one of the symptoms is a total lack of willpower where political blogs are concerned. Hopefully May 6 will offer some measure of relief from the worst symptoms.
April 29, 2008 3:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
What the...? Greg D, is that you? All I can say, is that no one better should make fun of my collar anymore.
April 29, 2008 11:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
At least you didn't rickroll us.
April 29, 2008 3:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
Eeeew
Corey Hart?
I've gotta go shower now.
:(
April 29, 2008 3:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ok you got me back for Billy Joeling you. :)
April 29, 2008 7:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry worker, that comment was for Genghis.
April 29, 2008 7:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
I like the "Never Surrender" reference. Clearly, Hillary's favorite song.
I also like the fact that Genghis linked to a French version.
April 29, 2008 11:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have to study this more, but I think it may be your best yet.
April 29, 2008 3:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah. It's really good.
April 29, 2008 3:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, but you're biased. This is my version of your echo chamber refrain. Not sure it's going to make the list though. It doesn't follow articleman's rules. Plus there's more satire than comedy. I've found that people prefer comedy.
April 29, 2008 3:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
Satire is harder to do and harder for a wide audience to appreciate. The audience has to be able to suss out your point of view in order to appreciate satire, but this gives them the opportunity to agree or disagree. If they disagree, they may miss out on appreciating a masterful piece of satire.
April 29, 2008 5:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah but then you know it's a masterpiece.
Berube caught me bad one time in the snark trap. I tend to fall in - I was an only child - we are apt to be just a bit more gullible, not having had siblings to disabuse us of that trait.
April 29, 2008 9:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Don't feel bad. He's relentless.
April 29, 2008 10:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
He is.
But he sweetly sent me an email after. And then I developed a crush on him, alas.
I do love literary gentlemen.
oops - here comes Jon.
April 29, 2008 11:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Does this crush have something to do with your new avatar? That is, what, the third one today? (Like a school girl trying to decide which dress to wear.)
And now Greg D is wearing a kilt and playing bagpipes. What's this blog coming to?
PS I like the photo, by the way
April 29, 2008 11:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
There's something about the springtime.
April 30, 2008 12:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh, I stopped consuming all political media last week. I'm not even reading this post; too exhausted.
April 29, 2008 3:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's over now anyway. Obama just admitted he was wrong about Wright.
April 29, 2008 3:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Wright showed up in Little Rock a bit over a month ago in what seemed ill-timed then and no one but me seemed to be worried or think this ill-advised.
Guess this one was a bit too much to ignore. We'll get to see Obama's mettle now.
April 29, 2008 8:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Turn off computer?"
You words, they make no sense.
"Avoid news sources."
Now you're just talkin' crazy talk.
I know I'm infected, but I can't back away! Fortunately, I keep a supply of magic pills in the pantry - Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips. Pop a few of those, and I can take anything the tubes throw at me. Sometimes the pills can be supplemented with a glass of magic grape juice. But that's not recommended until after 6.
April 29, 2008 3:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
I scheduled an appointment with my exorcist this afternoon.
April 29, 2008 3:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
As a very respected Neurosurgeon, I have seen the effects of Hillaria and I have concluded that CNN's Situation Room is the only treatment, besides staying away from blogs.
April 29, 2008 3:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
I just loved your searing expose of the lies in Sicko. Apparently Michael Moore did too. Didn't he appear with you to congratulate you on your great piece of investigative journalism? :)
April 29, 2008 6:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thought you latte drinkers would be immune to such things G
April 29, 2008 4:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
For the record, I take my coffee black and I like my whiskey the way is way meant to be: cask-aged in Kentucky, never blended.
April 29, 2008 9:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
What do you have against Craig Margent?
April 29, 2008 4:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not to mention Beric Gleefeld?
April 29, 2008 4:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not to mention Frek Gargent
April 30, 2008 12:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My fever jsut broke and after a couple of hours offline I realize that I wrote the following post:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/new-clinton-endorsement-today.php
Oh god, oh god. I'm sick, sick, sick.
Goodbye cruel world...
(in th event of my deather I leave all my brightly colored shirts to Genghis.)
April 29, 2008 4:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
"(in th event of my deather I leave all my brightly colored shirts to Genghis.)"
That's kinda selfish don't ya think?
April 29, 2008 6:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think that's really a gift to the entire TPM readership. Genghis has generated more entertainment with one brightly colored shirt than the rest of us have with our whole wardrobe.
April 29, 2008 7:27 PM | Reply | Permalink
I, for one, am not excited by the shirt. I am however very underwhelmed by the background, which pales in comparison to "in orbit". Also, genghis has become less sideways. I'm worried that the next picture will just be a straight-on, black and white passport photo. If that happens, I will probably stop reading everything he writes.
April 29, 2008 8:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think that the orbit (actually a waterfall) only created the optical illusion of sidewayness. In fact, I am completely straight.
But I hope that you stick with me. You never know what the next avatar will bring.
April 29, 2008 9:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
your deather?
lol! dat's cute.
April 29, 2008 9:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
mE no type gooD.
April 30, 2008 12:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
Congrats Genghis, you just made the "Today's reccomended reader blogs" on the Cafe's front page!
April 29, 2008 7:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
First, I'd like to thank the Academy and all the good people at TPM: DF, mageduley, California Paige, DirkVA, workerbee, Goatboy, and all of you whose names I can't be bothered to write down right now. Without you, I'd be just another avatar lost in the blogosphere. It's such an honor to be here tonight.
But I'd like to take this moment to talk about an issue that of great concern to me. Rick-rolling. It seems like a funny joke to people, but there are many, many victims who have been deeply scarred by this sophomoric prank. Allsburg, an innocent baby, has been rick-rolled twice in recent weeks. His physical development has been delayed by years, and he was only in the 20th percentile already. Yes, I know, no one intended to rick-roll a baby, but it happened, and we're all to blame. Not just rick-rolled. Billy-joeled, corey-harted, and robin-williamsed. The poor kid has been through enough, don't you think?
In any case, thank you TPM. Don't rick-roll. Peace.
April 29, 2008 9:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Rick-rolling is a serious issue on the modern Internets, the impact of which is detailed in this ground-breaking new documentary:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_0719DxMOUY
April 29, 2008 9:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Desire to click link so strong...must resist...
April 29, 2008 9:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Do or do not. There is no "try."
April 29, 2008 10:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Darn it! I clicked on both of them!
So that's where my dance moves came from....
April 29, 2008 11:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
I log on to TPM at home on my big 19" monitor, and I log in at work on my smaller 17".
BOTH of them, mind you, BOTH of them make it clearly plain to me that my shirt is burgundy is Genghis' shirt is an odd dark peach color.
I just want this to be noted somewhere. For the record.
So I'll post the fact here, and recommend this post.
April 29, 2008 8:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
D'oh!! "...My shirt is burgundy AND Genghis' shirt is an odd, dark, peach but maybe more rather terra cotta but not quite brick color".
There's still a difference, you know.
April 29, 2008 8:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
I will wear this shirt at the May 6th election party at Revival. Anyone who wants to verify the actual color of my shirt my do so then.
April 29, 2008 9:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'll bring my glasses.
April 29, 2008 9:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Genghis!
The colors dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The colors!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn't help it!!
http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/1530/genghiscolormf2.jpg
It was that magic xacto knife!!
I AM running a fever.....
April 30, 2008 9:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ha. Thank you workerbee. This ought to quell the criticism.
April 30, 2008 12:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
In other news, Clinton supporters are now saying that FOX News is the only source of fair news on Clinton.
April 29, 2008 8:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
And Breg Bargent
April 29, 2008 9:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
No, no. Sreg Kargent.
April 30, 2008 1:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
The mental state of this election watcher and probably a bunch of others - say if this sums it up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeeJxefijoY
April 29, 2008 9:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
you're a sick person. seek immediate assistance
April 29, 2008 9:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Do you know any doctors who specialize in it? O_O
April 29, 2008 9:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Dr. Sanja Gupta. Lucky you. He's already in da thread.
April 30, 2008 9:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
And another thing about Wright, he was totaly wrong. Hillary is responsible for everything.
April 29, 2008 9:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hillary is a polarizing figure. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
April 29, 2008 10:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Very funny!
April 29, 2008 10:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
VERMILLION.
April 29, 2008 11:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
DAMMIT. That was in response to Lis.
April 29, 2008 11:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I still say salmon.
April 30, 2008 9:38 AM | Reply | Permalink
That's OK. I don't think that anyone reading this thread has the slightest doubt about what you're referring to. I would say that indeed VERMILLION best describes the color. You win my Barack Obama Exacto knife after workerbee's done with it.
April 29, 2008 11:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Someone with protanopia would see that color as dirty olive green.
April 30, 2008 12:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Best use of a $2.00 word in a thread, 2008."
April 30, 2008 12:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
My thanks, sir. I am honored.
April 30, 2008 1:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
TEH shirt is coral and the collar is positively ......flamboyant.
Asskissing works everytime!
April 29, 2008 11:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Um, "flamboyant" does not constitute ass-kissing.
Coral is close, but I think anneliz's vermillion is better.
April 29, 2008 11:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Oh, come on. Now you're backtracking. You're moving the goal posts.
I said it was a peach color, first. You said not. I then tried to appease you by calling it terra cotta, next. You said not.
I even threw out a brick, goddammit.
NOW you're calling it close to coral (which is one shade darker than peach) but more vermillion.
(throws hands up in disgust)
April 29, 2008 11:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Rejection hurts, don't it
April 29, 2008 11:46 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks for the expose, now I know what to tell my co-workers. In my case it has also led to decreased productivity at work as I often have break away to read TPM. My colleagues just don't share my enthusiasm every time Obama gets another superdelegate.... *sigh*
But at least you all understand. You feel my pain/symptoms..
April 29, 2008 11:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Where have you been, oakv? LisB's been blowing me off. Everyone else has been ridiculing my collar. The trolls have been ignoring me. I've been craving affirmation. (Billy Glad can tell you all about my psychosis.)
April 29, 2008 11:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Blowing you off?! Please.
I do comment on other threads beside your own.
April 30, 2008 12:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Not the commenting. It was the (kissing). You pop into the thread and (kiss) DF, which is OK, you have a crush on him, that's cool. But then you (kiss) Billy Glad. Billy Glad!!!! With the scary terminator avatar and mild tourette syndrome!!!! And I'm sitting there in the thread thinking, what am I leper? Is it the collar?
April 30, 2008 12:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
Collar it is.
April 30, 2008 12:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
There's been kissing?! Where was I?!
I've been around, Genghis, just observing more than participating... making sure that absence has indeed increased fondness (check!) ;)
April 30, 2008 12:46 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's all documented for posterity right here:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/the-troll-whisperer.php
I could have used your help, though gasket was a great sport.
April 30, 2008 12:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
That WAS a great thread, I'm sorry I overlooked it!
And whatever color & style of shirt you choose I support.
April 30, 2008 1:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
I saw that shirt (and that pose) on a dating site. Are you trying to pick up some TPM love, genghis?
April 29, 2008 11:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
Have you been trolling donkeylust.com?
April 29, 2008 11:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
... who said that a flamboyant collar constitutes asskissing?
Not me.
Altho I concede that it could be indicative of asskissing. Especially if it's coral.
Don't feel badly that commenters are trashing your style. It's rather dashing in a Ricky Ricardo way.
April 30, 2008 12:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ricky Ricardo? That's it. You're done. I've emailed Josh Marshall to ask that you be banned. This is the worst asskissing that I've seen in the history of asskissing.
April 30, 2008 1:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
nah. He should consider hoop earrings. Then he'd pass for a failed pirate.
April 30, 2008 1:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
You're done too. You're all done. I've asked Josh to ban everyone except for DF and istillheartgenghis. And goatlife, because we need a troll to kick around. It's going to be a lot easier to get on the recommended list, I tell yah.
April 30, 2008 1:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
noooooooo. Don't ban me. I have contracted Hillaria from this thread. It's a veritable magnet and pit of Hillaria. You just got in the way of words I was hurling at my teevee. Really.
aha! Ghengis was dressed by his dominatrix and she/he told him that the color is burnt sienna.
April 30, 2008 1:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
"dominatrix" teehee...
I've never been a fan of any color that is "burnt", it just sounds wrong. I mean, if his shirt was "burnt toast" it would be black, right?
(I better get to work, this Hillaria is getting to me!)
**Begins chanting "Obama got super-dels today... Obama got super-dels today..."**
April 30, 2008 1:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
Better you should email the greggers in order to have ME banned, boyo.
What's your problem with Ricky Ricardo? Do you think he's a PANSY or what?
April 30, 2008 1:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think Ricky Ricardo makes Mike Easley look like a Mertz.
I can't believe I voted for that Mertz.
April 30, 2008 6:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm definitely in need of treatment, but unless someone does an intervention, I fear I will slip further down the spiral. Unfortunately, everyone I know is also afflicted -- even my 83 year old grandmother. Is it bowing to the hysteria of the disease to claim there's an epidemic?
April 30, 2008 11:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
It could be Jeremyalgia.
April 30, 2008 1:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
Isn't that collar, uhm, green?
April 30, 2008 1:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
OHNO! Does this mean Yoda died and left Genghis his shirts? (Sniffle.)
Btw, Genghis, congrats on snagging a RenStimpy!
April 30, 2008 1:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
Workerbee gave it to me. But I might have to change soon. It's beginning to turn me off to my own avatar.
Thanks for the RenStimpy heads up. The honor might have passed me by without my knowing.
April 30, 2008 2:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
Okay, seriously, why am I not seeing what other people see? I see Genghis in a green shirt and Greg D. is NOT in a kilt playing the bagpipes (THAT is something I'd notice - my husband got me to marry him by serenading me,in his kilt, with bagpipes).
Wait a minute - is this another symptom?
OMG, I gotta go...........
April 30, 2008 2:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I changed my shirt this morning. But Missouri voter, nee Greg De Lassus, is most definitely still wearing a kilt.
I'll have to try that serenading trick. Do you think it would work with a tambourine?
April 30, 2008 2:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Tambourines do nothing for me. But maybe if you were wearing a kilt? Depends on your knees.
April 30, 2008 3:29 PM | Reply | Permalink
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