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How To Be Tough: A Primer
1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.
2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.
3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.
4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.
5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."
6) Play tough music. Examples:
- Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
- I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
- Never Surrender (Corey Hart)
- We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)
7) Say tough-sounding things about what you'll do to the bad guys. Examples:
- "We would be able to totally obliterate them."
- "We're going to get him. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter to me."
- "We will bury you!" [bang shoe on table]
8) Do not allow anyone to question your toughness or the value of toughness or even the meaning of toughness. Tough people don't take questions on toughness.
9) Win some primaries. This is the most important step. If you win, the media will conclude that you have successfully persuaded voters that you are tough and that your opponent has a toughness problem. They will talk about your toughness and your opponent's untoughness endlessly until the voters start to believe that you are truly tough.
Comments (135)
One irony... when Bill Clinton ran against George H.W. Bush, one of the most effective critiques of the sitting president was that he was a wimp.
April 26, 2008 1:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not to be overly persnickety but the "wimp factor" was 1988 and overcome by the Dan Rather interview -- not to mention the Dukakis tank photo -- and by 1992, the Gulf War and Panama.
April 26, 2008 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
I can't decide whether she is more effective as a "fighter" or as the "victim." Personally, I felt bad for her at the Texas debate when she talked about how she's been through tough times but I get turned off when she talks about obliterating Iran. I wonder which personality attracts the most votes.
April 26, 2008 2:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Isn't it interesting that this description fits our current sitting President almost to a tee?
I wonder why more Democrats don't see the intense and burning irony of this situation?
April 26, 2008 2:10 PM | Reply | Permalink
Recognize any of the quotes?
April 26, 2008 2:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
You won't like this comment, Genghis, cause it's rude, but
She's George Bush with tits!
April 26, 2008 4:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
AND YOU'RE BILL RICHARDSONS POODLE DOG EXIT AREA WITH A CLOSE SHAVE
Speaking of mams.
After the training bra was it one dissapointing year after another?
bOnG HIT!
Jeff Spicoli
VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE
NOT YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE
April 27, 2008 1:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR HILLARY!!!
April 26, 2008 2:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bless you, idiotic. Your work be soon be complete.
April 26, 2008 2:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
How can anyone post the same thing, over and over and over, and still be funny? It defies all reason. There's probably a dissertation in there.
April 26, 2008 5:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
When we get bitter about the never-ending primary, we cling to idiotic for comfort.
April 26, 2008 6:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Idiotic is a fighter.
April 26, 2008 10:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
SHE SHOULD CELEBRATE!!! BY DRINKING SHOTS AND BEER!!! AND SHOOTING GUNS AND BOWLING!!!
April 27, 2008 8:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
good post
April 26, 2008 2:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
You forgot "drive a Ford truck." Cause they're "Ford tough" (from what the commercials tell me).
This post got me day-dreaming of what's to come....
I have a picture in my head of the day that Obama gets enough delegates lined up to be the presumptive nominee. The Clinton campaign, instead of conceding defeat, holds a rally with "We're Not Gonna Take It" blaring in the background. Mark Penn and Harold Ickes are in a steel cage ultimate fight. Bill and Geraldine Ferraro are smashing empty beer cans on their heads. Lots of guns and trucks. Maybe a banner in the background that reads: "Toughness rules. Obama drools"...
I can't wait for Obama to be the presumptive nominee.
April 26, 2008 2:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hillary has vowed to fight Obama's pledged delegates.
April 26, 2008 3:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Gloves? Bare knuckles? Guns, fist or knives? It's all the same to her if it's all the same to them.
April 26, 2008 3:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
I want to see a Matrix-style Mr. Anderson fight.
April 26, 2008 8:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
She's getting her co-CiC to render them to Gitmo ...
April 26, 2008 10:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Guns might be appropriate.
April 26, 2008 10:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Damn delegates. Why do they have to be such wimps?
April 26, 2008 3:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Cuz they're only pledged delegates, not super delegates.
April 26, 2008 3:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Maybe they need to go to therapy...perhaps they'll come out feeling super.
April 26, 2008 4:38 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey ! My Ford truck is really tough.
A ten year old F150.
Looks really tough sitting in my driveway. I can't afford the damn gas. Gets a nifty 12 miles a gallon downhill.
April 26, 2008 3:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Perfect delivery! Thank you.
April 26, 2008 5:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sounds pretty spot on to me.
Much better than hypnotizing people with silly talk of hope in Chicago Senate elections while taking EVERY fellow Democrat on the ballot to court over their candidacy petitions.
Or talking about change in politics while re-running 1990s healthcare TV spots.
and the list is endless. Even Dean seems to be waking up finally.
April 26, 2008 3:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
Huh. Lived in Chicago the first thirty years of my life and never noticed we had a Senate.
April 26, 2008 6:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
that's why he's running for President
April 26, 2008 10:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
You forgot the ears.
April 27, 2008 10:37 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yeah you know that stupid hope talk. What is it about hope? Hope is for stupid dolts who believe in fairy tales. So says a former 2 term president, or did he????? Hmmmmmm
Well lets go in the wayback machine for a moment because I can't quite remember what that former president said. It was something about hope...he must have said it was stupid to believe in hope, right? Hmmmmm.
Lets go to the tape shall we?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZW0m2nWB_M
April 26, 2008 11:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
I don't recall her saying she landed under snark. Just that there was snark in the area. There was snark. We ran with our heads down. Thinks like that. I don't think she ever said that at that time there was snark aimed at her. I may be wrong, and would appreciate a link to a live video of her saying someone snarked at her. Those of us who have had snark aimed at us know the difference. In a snark zone there is always occasional snark. When it comes directly at you from more than one direction at once, that's something entirely different.
April 26, 2008 3:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
Billy, you are a true patriot, and I commend your courage under snark. But these apologies are too much. The discussion moderator has claimed that the site was completely snark free. And I hardly think that they would have allowed children to post if there had been any snark in the area.
April 26, 2008 3:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
There is no argument over the fact that people told her there was snark in the area. That has not been disputed by anyone. The fact that she paused on the tarmac to greet a child is called grace under snark. I only raise these points because no one wants to think our next President is afraid of snark.
April 26, 2008 4:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
You're kidding, right?
April 27, 2008 8:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Silly talk of hope." Ah yes, hope that silly thing. Instead we should all just despair. It's a much better state of mind.
April 26, 2008 3:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
I do notice there is little talk of hope from Obama these days. He seems to have come down to earth. Indiana will demonstrate whether or not he landed in time.
April 26, 2008 4:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Personally I think he needs to go back up there.
And Billy, as you have previously noted, the Clintons are your revolution. Was that not in part because he was the man from Hope?
April 26, 2008 5:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
She can pick up where Lyndon Johnson left off. And she has the advantage of seeing what the Vietnam fiasco did to Johnson's Great Society. She won't make that mistake. She'll pull out of Iraq, isolate Iran, and the Great Society will be back on track.
April 26, 2008 6:53 PM | Reply | Permalink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCm13K4Mq50
Brilliant.
April 26, 2008 3:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
#2) Winston Churchill, 1941:
April 26, 2008 3:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Cervantes, 1605
April 26, 2008 4:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
Bette Davis, All About Eve, 1950:
April 26, 2008 5:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
Winston Churchill, 1954
April 26, 2008 5:49 PM | Reply | Permalink
April 26, 2008 11:06 PM | Reply | Permalink
Grover Cleveland:
April 26, 2008 11:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Grover
April 26, 2008 11:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
LBP aka Ric. Funniest poster on TPM. Seriously.
April 27, 2008 2:08 AM | Reply | Permalink
I was hoping you Obama people would figure out to turn the thread into an exquisite corpse, Genghis. But I guess only Billy Glad and Desidero know how to do that.
Sigh.
April 27, 2008 2:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Come on, gasket. He quoted Grover! It doesn't get more exquisite than that.
April 27, 2008 2:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
Of course I'm not complaining about Grover! I'm complaining that you had to stick your big smiling face in the middle of it!
(I'm not really complaining. I just like giving you a hard time.)
April 27, 2008 3:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
In that case, I encourage you to join the very important discussion of whether I should change my avatar:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/a-vote-for-avatars.php#comment-2757078
April 27, 2008 3:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Dude- you quoted Don Quixote. Game over. This is like Morrissey calling Corey Hart the best singer in the room.
April 27, 2008 5:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
Even a philistine like you has to admit that the "the good damsel -- which would have made anyone but a muledriver vomit" line is priceless.
April 27, 2008 2:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, the true winner here is Cervantes.
April 27, 2008 10:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
From GWTW:
April 26, 2008 11:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Peggy Noonan, October 12, 2001
April 27, 2008 12:25 AM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks, that was awesome. I think we all need to come back to Earth a little bit. The day we all came together and the world gathered in sympathy around us, was unfortunately only a brief moment.
That moment was shattered when GWB stood on a pile of rubble and said "The people who took these buildings down will be hearing all of of voices soon."
How quickly the love of our fellow man can be turned into the destruction of it.
I wasn't angry when Hillary threatend nuclear attack on Iran. I was afraid. More afraid than I could ever be from terrorists. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach when I heard those words.
Never again folks. We can never again have another president who will slaughter people for political ends.
April 27, 2008 2:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
How to be tough: Get a little (just a little) over-baked.
April 26, 2008 4:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
And don't stay home and bake cookies.
April 26, 2008 4:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
Cookies don't get tough, they get crispy. I was thinking more of a pork roast.
:D
April 26, 2008 5:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
Just like I said: George Bush with tits.
;)
April 26, 2008 5:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
O hell, I thought you meant baked on Crown Royal.
April 26, 2008 5:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think I like your thought better than mine.
:)
Er, yeah... that's what I meant!
April 26, 2008 5:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
I won't tell - take it - it's yours.
;)
April 26, 2008 5:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why, thank you, Tena. Your graciousness is everything I've come to expect from a Southener.
:)
April 26, 2008 6:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
You should have seen the Southern women I dealt with in the Sixties. Nice looking. Foul mouths. Racist to the core.
April 26, 2008 6:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Heh, well, I guess Tena's only two fer three, then.
April 26, 2008 7:13 PM | Reply | Permalink
P.S. Just so this comes across the way I meant it, Tena is foul-mouthed in the most charming possible way.
April 26, 2008 7:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you. I actually think my foul mouth is one of my most charming traits.
Because see without it, I would be altogether too sweet and no one could stand me, especially me.
April 26, 2008 11:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Frankly, I find Northern elitism to be equally squalid. There are no laws governing that type of bigotry.
I'll match my foul mouth to theirs any day of the week.
;)
April 26, 2008 7:21 PM | Reply | Permalink
I wasn't thinking Crown Royal so much as brownies—Bill Clinton's secret recipe, of course.
April 26, 2008 5:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
I had no idea Bill Clinton baked. You learn something new everyday
April 26, 2008 6:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
It is not very tough -- and vaguely unpatriotic -- to get baked on Canadian whiskey. I mean, come on. Those Canadians, cowering under our nuclear umbrella. Are they tough? Only if you compare them to the French.
April 26, 2008 7:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
You're a despicable anti-Canadite. Begone from this thread.
And why cannot I cannot have a single thread go by without someone mentioning the fucking Canadians?
April 26, 2008 7:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
And why cannot I cannot write a comment without repeating words? Fucking echo chamber.
April 26, 2008 7:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
I knew you'd try to play the anti-Canadism-card.
April 26, 2008 7:41 PM | Reply | Permalink
card? or canard?
April 26, 2008 10:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's the anti-anti-anti-plagiarism lobby. They're keeping an eye on you.
April 26, 2008 7:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why hasn't some Obama surrogate pointed out that she was guzzling un-American booze? Did she at least chase it with an American beer?
April 26, 2008 9:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey Genghis, I've found your theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buSwRxvYPZI
April 26, 2008 11:32 PM | Reply | Permalink
OK, I'm of course well familiar with southpark the movie, but wtf is this robin williams version? I really wish that I hadn't watched that before bedtime. I'll get you mageduley.
April 27, 2008 2:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Aw come on, I couldn't give you a link that was just run of the mill now could I?
April 27, 2008 2:55 AM | Reply | Permalink
In case you were wondering, Robin performed it for the Oscars. The song was up for a freaking Academy Award for best original song. American pop culture at it's finest. :)
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/23/blame.canada/index.html
April 27, 2008 3:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY FIXATE ON GEORGE BUSH'S TITS
Is it about your inadequacy or are you really just an admirer?
Wondering
P. Anderson
April 27, 2008 1:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Great post, Genghis. I especially loved the quotes (and the stage directions--shoe banging indeed!) 'Course, I'm not sure TOUGH people get irony....
April 26, 2008 4:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Corey Hart counts as tough? Yiminey!
April 26, 2008 5:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
For those (like myself) who didn't know who Corey Hart was, you can find him on YouTube.
I'm going to have to agree with Ami on that one. Tough is definitely not the word that comes to mind.
April 26, 2008 5:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
Very good, people. Welcome to the joke.
PS How can one grow up in the 80s (outside of a polygamist compound) and not know Corey Hart?
April 26, 2008 6:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
Just lucky, I suppose. :)
I've always been rather out of touch with popular culture. I was a nerdling as a child (first pair of tortoise shell glasses at 4, and they were very thick even then), and have never completely outgrown it.
April 26, 2008 6:08 PM | Reply | Permalink
Surely you must know this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXw4qqQqTrY
?
April 26, 2008 6:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yes. Didn't realize it was Corey Hart, but I do recall that one. Listening to it now, I'm not sure how it got the traction it did.
Until Genghis gave me some context, I was assuming he was one of those American Idol singers or something. :)
April 26, 2008 6:43 PM | Reply | Permalink
Ah, blast from the past. I still can't understand what he says right after "so I can, so I can". Of course, now that we have the internets, the answer is only a few clicks away. But I think that I'll preserve the mystery. It's better that way.
A girl from my junior high was the toast of the school because Corey Hart pulled her on stage and kissed her cheek at a show. In retrospect, it seems a bit creepy.
April 26, 2008 6:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
You know what else I recently learned? He was originally offered the role of Marty McFly. I mean, can you imagine a Back to the Future without Michael J. Fox? Just wouldn't be right.
April 26, 2008 7:09 PM | Reply | Permalink
Must have been our retreat in Chicago---I missed this throw-up-a-little-in-my-mouth syrup. My kids grew up in the 80s and all I got out of that was Madonna and Depeche Mode.
April 26, 2008 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
I grew up outside of a polygamist compound in the '80s and never once heard Corey Hart, even when I put my ear up to the windows.
April 26, 2008 10:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
Jeez. Corey Hart is Canadian, too (and no, not at all tough. He has nice teeth, though). With all this Canadian content to her tough-guy posturing, can we really trust Clinton to stand up to those Canadian NAFTA negotiators, wimpy though they are?
April 26, 2008 7:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
April 26, 2008 9:40 PM | Reply | Permalink
The musical choices for manufacturing toughness is my favorite part of this post, Gengis.
Love songs are for effete candidates.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw_R9_aBtYc
April 26, 2008 5:48 PM | Reply | Permalink
- Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
- I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
- Never Surrender (Corey Hart)
- We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)
"Fight For Your Right to Party," Beastie Boys
April 26, 2008 5:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
The Old Laughing Lady (Neil Young)
April 26, 2008 5:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
This one goes out to the trolls: "Needle and the Damage Done," Neil Young.
April 26, 2008 6:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Tough enough, Fabulous Thunderbirds
April 26, 2008 6:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
If you play a Smiths song, or anything else by Morissey, you automatically lose any toughness cred you may have had.
April 26, 2008 7:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (The Smiths)
April 26, 2008 7:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
That above comment was meant for you, Genghis Morrissey.