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How To Be Tough: A Primer

1) Say "I'm tough". Say it a lot. Also, use the word "fight" in every other sentence.

2) Promise not to quit. Ever. Consequences be damned.

3) Compare yourself to tough historical figures. Like Rocky.



4) Do not apologize. Tough people don't apologize. Rocky doesn't apologize.

5) Tell anecdotes of about yourself in tough situations. E.g. "We landed under sniper fire and had to run to our vehicles."

6) Play tough music. Examples:
 - Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
 - I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
 - Never Surrender (Corey Hart)
 - We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)

7) Say tough-sounding things about what you'll do to the bad guys. Examples:
 - "We would be able to totally obliterate them."
 - "We're going to get him. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter to me."
 - "We will bury you!" [bang shoe on table]

8) Do not allow anyone to question your toughness or the value of toughness or even the meaning of toughness. Tough people don't take questions on toughness.

9) Win some primaries. This is the most important step. If you win, the media will conclude that you have successfully persuaded voters that you are tough and that your opponent has a toughness problem. They will talk about your toughness and your opponent's untoughness endlessly until the voters start to believe that you are truly tough.


Comments (135)

One irony... when Bill Clinton ran against George H.W. Bush, one of the most effective critiques of the sitting president was that he was a wimp.

Not to be overly persnickety but the "wimp factor" was 1988 and overcome by the Dan Rather interview -- not to mention the Dukakis tank photo -- and by 1992, the Gulf War and Panama.

I can't decide whether she is more effective as a "fighter" or as the "victim." Personally, I felt bad for her at the Texas debate when she talked about how she's been through tough times but I get turned off when she talks about obliterating Iran. I wonder which personality attracts the most votes.

Isn't it interesting that this description fits our current sitting President almost to a tee?

I wonder why more Democrats don't see the intense and burning irony of this situation?

Recognize any of the quotes?

You won't like this comment, Genghis, cause it's rude, but

She's George Bush with tits!

AND YOU'RE BILL RICHARDSONS POODLE DOG EXIT AREA WITH A CLOSE SHAVE

Speaking of mams.
After the training bra was it one dissapointing year after another?


bOnG HIT!
Jeff Spicoli

VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE
NOT YOUR GUILTY CONSCIENCE

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THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!! FOR HILLARY!!!

Bless you, idiotic. Your work be soon be complete.

How can anyone post the same thing, over and over and over, and still be funny? It defies all reason. There's probably a dissertation in there.

When we get bitter about the never-ending primary, we cling to idiotic for comfort.

Idiotic is a fighter.

SHE SHOULD CELEBRATE!!! BY DRINKING SHOTS AND BEER!!! AND SHOOTING GUNS AND BOWLING!!!

good post

You forgot "drive a Ford truck." Cause they're "Ford tough" (from what the commercials tell me).

This post got me day-dreaming of what's to come....

I have a picture in my head of the day that Obama gets enough delegates lined up to be the presumptive nominee. The Clinton campaign, instead of conceding defeat, holds a rally with "We're Not Gonna Take It" blaring in the background. Mark Penn and Harold Ickes are in a steel cage ultimate fight. Bill and Geraldine Ferraro are smashing empty beer cans on their heads. Lots of guns and trucks. Maybe a banner in the background that reads: "Toughness rules. Obama drools"...

I can't wait for Obama to be the presumptive nominee.

Hillary has vowed to fight Obama's pledged delegates.

Gloves? Bare knuckles? Guns, fist or knives? It's all the same to her if it's all the same to them.

I want to see a Matrix-style Mr. Anderson fight.

She's getting her co-CiC to render them to Gitmo ...

Guns might be appropriate.

Damn delegates. Why do they have to be such wimps?

Cuz they're only pledged delegates, not super delegates.

Maybe they need to go to therapy...perhaps they'll come out feeling super.

Hey ! My Ford truck is really tough.

A ten year old F150.

Looks really tough sitting in my driveway. I can't afford the damn gas. Gets a nifty 12 miles a gallon downhill.

Perfect delivery! Thank you.

Sounds pretty spot on to me.

Much better than hypnotizing people with silly talk of hope in Chicago Senate elections while taking EVERY fellow Democrat on the ballot to court over their candidacy petitions.

Or talking about change in politics while re-running 1990s healthcare TV spots.

and the list is endless. Even Dean seems to be waking up finally.

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Huh. Lived in Chicago the first thirty years of my life and never noticed we had a Senate.

that's why he's running for President

You forgot the ears.

Yeah you know that stupid hope talk. What is it about hope? Hope is for stupid dolts who believe in fairy tales. So says a former 2 term president, or did he????? Hmmmmmm
Well lets go in the wayback machine for a moment because I can't quite remember what that former president said. It was something about hope...he must have said it was stupid to believe in hope, right? Hmmmmm.

Lets go to the tape shall we?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZW0m2nWB_M

I don't recall her saying she landed under snark. Just that there was snark in the area. There was snark. We ran with our heads down. Thinks like that. I don't think she ever said that at that time there was snark aimed at her. I may be wrong, and would appreciate a link to a live video of her saying someone snarked at her. Those of us who have had snark aimed at us know the difference. In a snark zone there is always occasional snark. When it comes directly at you from more than one direction at once, that's something entirely different.

Billy, you are a true patriot, and I commend your courage under snark. But these apologies are too much. The discussion moderator has claimed that the site was completely snark free. And I hardly think that they would have allowed children to post if there had been any snark in the area.

There is no argument over the fact that people told her there was snark in the area. That has not been disputed by anyone. The fact that she paused on the tarmac to greet a child is called grace under snark. I only raise these points because no one wants to think our next President is afraid of snark.

You're kidding, right?

"Silly talk of hope." Ah yes, hope that silly thing. Instead we should all just despair. It's a much better state of mind.

I do notice there is little talk of hope from Obama these days. He seems to have come down to earth. Indiana will demonstrate whether or not he landed in time.

Personally I think he needs to go back up there.

And Billy, as you have previously noted, the Clintons are your revolution. Was that not in part because he was the man from Hope?

She can pick up where Lyndon Johnson left off. And she has the advantage of seeing what the Vietnam fiasco did to Johnson's Great Society. She won't make that mistake. She'll pull out of Iraq, isolate Iran, and the Great Society will be back on track.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCm13K4Mq50

Brilliant.

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#2) Winston Churchill, 1941:

this is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Cervantes, 1605

[K]nights errant are exempt from the application of all laws and statutes, that for them law is their sword, statutes are their spirit, and edicts and proclamations are their will and desire.
And the good gentleman was so far gone in his fantasy that neither the touch, the smell, nor anything else about the good damsel -- which would have made anyone but a muledriver vomit -- disillusioned him in the slightest.
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Bette Davis, All About Eve, 1950:

Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.

Winston Churchill, 1954

All will be well. We have, I believe, within us the life-strength and guiding light by which the tormented world around us may find the harbour of safety, after a storm-beaten voyage.
Miyagi: Now, ready? Daniel: Yeah, I guess so. Miyagi: [sighs] Daniel-san, must talk. [they both kneel] Miyagi: Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later [makes squish gesture] Miyagi: get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so," [makes squish gesture] Miyagi: just like grape. Understand? Daniel: Yeah, I understand. Miyagi: Now, ready? Daniel: Yeah, I'm ready.
The Karate Kid (1984)
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Grover Cleveland:

The ship of democracy, which has weathered all storms, may sink through the mutiny of those on board.

Grover

Grover: Ha-ha, yes, it is I, Grover!
Go away, take a ride, take a walk!
Do not stay, I have no time to talk!
Yesterday I could pass for some fun,
But today I must ask you to run!
Go away, make it far,
Go away, take the car,
Don't delay, please just scram,
Do not play where I aaaaammm!
Go away, make it far--

LBP aka Ric. Funniest poster on TPM. Seriously.

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I was hoping you Obama people would figure out to turn the thread into an exquisite corpse, Genghis. But I guess only Billy Glad and Desidero know how to do that.

Sigh.

Come on, gasket. He quoted Grover! It doesn't get more exquisite than that.

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Of course I'm not complaining about Grover! I'm complaining that you had to stick your big smiling face in the middle of it!

(I'm not really complaining. I just like giving you a hard time.)

In that case, I encourage you to join the very important discussion of whether I should change my avatar:

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/04/a-vote-for-avatars.php#comment-2757078

Dude- you quoted Don Quixote. Game over. This is like Morrissey calling Corey Hart the best singer in the room.

Even a philistine like you has to admit that the "the good damsel -- which would have made anyone but a muledriver vomit" line is priceless.

Yes, the true winner here is Cervantes.

From GWTW:

Melanie: But Scarlett, you're doing business with the people who burned and tortured us.
Scarlett: That's all in the past. Oh I know what they are saying about me and I don't care. I am going to make friends with the Yankee carpetbaggers and I am going to beat them at their own game and you're going to beat them with me.

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They were tough, rough men, the grunts of the city—construction workers and electrical workers and cops and emergency medical worker and firemen.

I joined a group that was just standing there as the truck convoys went by. And all we did was cheer. We all wanted to do some kind of volunteer work but there was nothing left to do, so we stood and cheered those who were doing. The trucks would go by and we’d cheer and wave and shout “God bless you!” and “We love you!” We waved flags and signs, clapped and threw kisses, and we meant it: We loved these men. And as the workers would go by—they would wave to us from their trucks and buses, and smile and nod—I realized that a lot of them were men who hadn’t been applauded since the day they danced to their song with their bride at the wedding.

And suddenly I looked around me at all of us who were cheering. And saw who we were. Investment bankers! Orthodontists! Magazine editors! In my group, a lawyer, a columnist and a writer. We had been the kings and queens of the city, respected professionals in a city that respects its professional class. And this night we were nobody. We were so useless, all we could do was applaud the somebodies, the workers who, unlike us, had not been applauded much in their lives.

And now they were saving our city.

I turned to my friend and said, “I have seen the grunts of New York become kings and queens of the City.”

Peggy Noonan, October 12, 2001

Thanks, that was awesome. I think we all need to come back to Earth a little bit. The day we all came together and the world gathered in sympathy around us, was unfortunately only a brief moment.

That moment was shattered when GWB stood on a pile of rubble and said "The people who took these buildings down will be hearing all of of voices soon."

How quickly the love of our fellow man can be turned into the destruction of it.

I wasn't angry when Hillary threatend nuclear attack on Iran. I was afraid. More afraid than I could ever be from terrorists. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach when I heard those words.

Never again folks. We can never again have another president who will slaughter people for political ends.

How to be tough: Get a little (just a little) over-baked.

And don't stay home and bake cookies.

Cookies don't get tough, they get crispy. I was thinking more of a pork roast.

:D

Just like I said: George Bush with tits.

;)

O hell, I thought you meant baked on Crown Royal.

I think I like your thought better than mine.

:)

Er, yeah... that's what I meant!

I won't tell - take it - it's yours.

;)

Why, thank you, Tena. Your graciousness is everything I've come to expect from a Southener.

:)

You should have seen the Southern women I dealt with in the Sixties. Nice looking. Foul mouths. Racist to the core.

Heh, well, I guess Tena's only two fer three, then.

P.S. Just so this comes across the way I meant it, Tena is foul-mouthed in the most charming possible way.

Thank you. I actually think my foul mouth is one of my most charming traits.

Because see without it, I would be altogether too sweet and no one could stand me, especially me.


Frankly, I find Northern elitism to be equally squalid. There are no laws governing that type of bigotry.

I'll match my foul mouth to theirs any day of the week.

;)

I wasn't thinking Crown Royal so much as brownies—Bill Clinton's secret recipe, of course.

I had no idea Bill Clinton baked. You learn something new everyday

It is not very tough -- and vaguely unpatriotic -- to get baked on Canadian whiskey. I mean, come on. Those Canadians, cowering under our nuclear umbrella. Are they tough? Only if you compare them to the French.

You're a despicable anti-Canadite. Begone from this thread.

And why cannot I cannot have a single thread go by without someone mentioning the fucking Canadians?

And why cannot I cannot write a comment without repeating words? Fucking echo chamber.

I knew you'd try to play the anti-Canadism-card.

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card? or canard?

It's the anti-anti-anti-plagiarism lobby. They're keeping an eye on you.

Why hasn't some Obama surrogate pointed out that she was guzzling un-American booze? Did she at least chase it with an American beer?

Hey Genghis, I've found your theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buSwRxvYPZI

OK, I'm of course well familiar with southpark the movie, but wtf is this robin williams version? I really wish that I hadn't watched that before bedtime. I'll get you mageduley.

Aw come on, I couldn't give you a link that was just run of the mill now could I?

In case you were wondering, Robin performed it for the Oscars. The song was up for a freaking Academy Award for best original song. American pop culture at it's finest. :)
http://archives.cnn.com/2000/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/23/blame.canada/index.html

WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY FIXATE ON GEORGE BUSH'S TITS

Is it about your inadequacy or are you really just an admirer?


Wondering
P. Anderson

Great post, Genghis. I especially loved the quotes (and the stage directions--shoe banging indeed!) 'Course, I'm not sure TOUGH people get irony....

Corey Hart counts as tough? Yiminey!

For those (like myself) who didn't know who Corey Hart was, you can find him on YouTube.

I'm going to have to agree with Ami on that one. Tough is definitely not the word that comes to mind.

Very good, people. Welcome to the joke.

PS How can one grow up in the 80s (outside of a polygamist compound) and not know Corey Hart?

Just lucky, I suppose. :)

I've always been rather out of touch with popular culture. I was a nerdling as a child (first pair of tortoise shell glasses at 4, and they were very thick even then), and have never completely outgrown it.

Surely you must know this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXw4qqQqTrY

?

Yes. Didn't realize it was Corey Hart, but I do recall that one. Listening to it now, I'm not sure how it got the traction it did.

Until Genghis gave me some context, I was assuming he was one of those American Idol singers or something. :)

Ah, blast from the past. I still can't understand what he says right after "so I can, so I can". Of course, now that we have the internets, the answer is only a few clicks away. But I think that I'll preserve the mystery. It's better that way.

A girl from my junior high was the toast of the school because Corey Hart pulled her on stage and kissed her cheek at a show. In retrospect, it seems a bit creepy.

You know what else I recently learned? He was originally offered the role of Marty McFly. I mean, can you imagine a Back to the Future without Michael J. Fox? Just wouldn't be right.

Must have been our retreat in Chicago---I missed this throw-up-a-little-in-my-mouth syrup. My kids grew up in the 80s and all I got out of that was Madonna and Depeche Mode.

I grew up outside of a polygamist compound in the '80s and never once heard Corey Hart, even when I put my ear up to the windows.

Jeez. Corey Hart is Canadian, too (and no, not at all tough. He has nice teeth, though). With all this Canadian content to her tough-guy posturing, can we really trust Clinton to stand up to those Canadian NAFTA negotiators, wimpy though they are?

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

The musical choices for manufacturing toughness is my favorite part of this post, Gengis.

Love songs are for effete candidates.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yw_R9_aBtYc

- Eye Of the Tiger (Survivor)
- I Won't Back Down (Tom Petty)
- Never Surrender (Corey Hart)
- We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister)

"Fight For Your Right to Party," Beastie Boys

The Old Laughing Lady (Neil Young)

This one goes out to the trolls: "Needle and the Damage Done," Neil Young.

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Tough enough, Fabulous Thunderbirds

If you play a Smiths song, or anything else by Morissey, you automatically lose any toughness cred you may have had.

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want (The Smiths)

That above comment was meant for you, Genghis Morrissey.

November spawned a monster.

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I've had tough meat before. She's not so much tough as she is gamey.

Actually, I think I might be persuaded to switch my support to her if she would come out to every speech to this soundtrack:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tv-VxrsF9sI

Only primary voters are equal to Hillary's toughness. States allowing caucus voting are not tough at all. Wimpy bastards. No wonder Hillary has disowned them.

It is kind of funny with all of the toughness talk - it makes me wonder. How can Hillary supporters claim toughness when they can't even rough up the caucus goers enough to win?

I mean hey, Hillary's point is the big mean grassroots supporters of Obama take over the caucuses right? That must mean their leader must be tougher than she is right?

Man, it is late and my brain is dizzy from all of the spin.

Campaign observer toughness scoring system:

1) For every debate you have started to watch, give yourself 1 point; for every debate you have endured to the bitter end, give yourself 2 points.
2) For every time you have seriously engaged with a TPM troll, give yourself 3 points.
3) For every race-baiting Bill Clinton quote you have listened to and resisted the urge to throw something at your TV, radio, or former President, give yourself 5 points.
4) For every time you have heard a comment from someone who has said they would never vote for that black man, that Negro, etc., and restrained yourself from punching them, give yourself 10 points.
5) For every time you have listened to a lesson from the Clinton campaign on the New Math, give yourself 1/2 point (sorry, these are too plentiful to give more).

I am approaching 100 points (including 30 points from #4).

Actually, you should get points for not engaging the trolls. If we stop feeding them, they will eventually go away.

Do you wonder why the ratio of Clinton:Obama troll posters is pretty much the inverse of the ratio of Clinton:Obama human posters on this site? It's because Clinton trolls feed on Obama humans and Obama trolls feed on Clinton humans.

-Complain that men are ganging up on you in debates.

-Work the refs: give the media a sexism complex so they can't criticize you

-Complain that you always get the first question in debates, use faded late night show as evidence to support your theory

-Cry. And after you cry, tell everyone you have "found your voice."

-Scream "SHAME ON YOU."

-Cry again.

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Wish to hell she'd been tougher in the Frist/Lott Senate instead of being such a pandering little sissy.
She didn't look all that tough downing Crown Royal in the Indiana bar. She really seemed like a disoriented Westchester County matron who had wandered into the wrong place and allowed herself to be plyed with liquor by the locals. As long as they're in Indiana, Obama should challenge her to some hoop. Never mind the Lincoln-Douglas stuff.

Add:

Hire Bill as a coach...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120917154479246575.html?mod=rss_Page_One

"we're not quitters"
"take him on every time"

He could dunk on her _all day_.

I bet she'd flop, though.

As FDR said, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Or, to be more precise, there is nothing to fear but fearful people themselves.

I'm fearful of fearful people. Huge masses of fearful people, led by a fearful person who is most fearful of people thinking she's not tough.

Hillary can be led around by her nose by people who will bait her into making "tough" moves, rather than smart moves. She already has. She'll risk "obliterating" populations rather than let someone accuse her of backing down from a fight. Fear of being painted a coward, fear of being smeared, fear of failing in her re-election bid.

Just what we need--another paper tiger in the White House. Go get 'em, Hillary! Grrrrrrrr!

Amen brother. May Americans one day learn the difference between courage and political posturing.

Courage is not the will to do what you wish to do when other say you cannot do it. Courage is the will to do what you must do when others say that you should not do it.

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Something tells me your life hasn't been as tough as Hillary's. Something tells me you don't have her energy and stamina, even though you are much younger. Something tells me you don't respect her toughness because you don't know what it is.

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zing!

It's true. I've never had the misfortune to marry a governor, let alone a president. I've never suffered the catastrophe of earning millions of dollars for books and speeches because of my celebrity. I've never had to dodge sniper fire in service of my country. I've never suffered eight years in the White House, forced to make small talk with billionaires, celebrities, and foreign leaders. I've never had to suffer the guilt of earning large sums of money to serve on the board of Wal-mart. I've never had to bear the great weight of having to become the senator of a state in which I've never lived. I've never had to suffer the endless devotion of the millions of zealots who adore me no matter what I do.

I'm so lucky. Zing! indeed.

First Billy Joel. Then Rufus Wainwright. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to bed, which I should have done an hour ago. TPM can eat me.

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Hey, I didn't know you'd already been billy-joeled when I posted.

Why am I still reading . . . zzzzzzzz?

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Genghis,
Tough, indeed.
Loved your post.
Shoe, soundtrack,etc...
True humor in the vein of
Dance, Dance, Nomination.
Humor requires a grain of truth to be funny.
Seriously.

Someone please tell me that this Corey Hart fellow never really existed, that it's just some kind of snarky mystification. I watched the clip and it's mind-bogglingly awful. Did people really have such terrible taste in the 1980s?

Yes. Remember, Disco was King.

:(

I swear Obama reads TPM (or maybe just Genghis posts). He addresses toughness in IN:
http://www.jedreport.com/2008/04/what-it-really.html

First Clinton steals my Rocky comparison, then Obama steals my toughness analysis. All politicians are friggin' plagiarizers. (Except Canadian politicians.)

Here's the text:

One of the things that I learned in the school yard was: the folks that are talking tough all the time, they’re not always that tough. If you’re really tough, you’re not always looking to try to start a fight. If you’re really tough, sometimes you just walk away. If you’re really tough, you just save it for when you really need it. I’m not interested in fighting people just for the sake of scoring political points. If I’m going to fight somebody it’s going to be fighting over the American people and what they need.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/26/obama-ive-been-taking-some-hits/

Thanks for the catch, yod.

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Genghis the Frog?

All politicians are friggin' plagiarizers. (Except Canadian politicians.)
Little do you know, Genghis. I'm not anti-Canadist, but ... Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a cheap Xerox copy of George W. Bush.

heh heh

What matters is he's tough INSIDE. To take all that crap without throwing it all back, that's tough!

What matters is he's tough INSIDE. To take all that crap without throwing it all back, that's tough!

Going through all the awful youtube videos, tougher.

[shameless plug disclaimer]
To continue discussion of 'fight' and 'toughness' on a blog that fell off the post list too soon, check out my most recent post.

Genghis was kind enough to post the first comment and give me my first recommend.

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