This was originally inspired by and posted in response to an an elaborate question by "DF."



Happy April Fools Day!

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On stardate 7100.7 (Earth calendar year 2271), an unidentified nebula-like object with the diameter of over two au skirted the fringes of Klingon space. Impervious to long-range sensors, three heavily armed D-7 Class Klingon Cruisers were dispatched on a reconnaissance mission to the massive cloud, only to vanish soon after initial contact - seemingly vaporised by spheres consisting of a previously unknown form of energy. First thought to be a natural phenomenon, it became clear that the object was not only of artificial origin, but it was immensely powerful, capable of extraordinary destruction, and on a direct heading for Sol System's planet Earth.

Despite an incomplete upgrade and a skeleton crew, as the only Starfleet vessel in the sector, the starship U.S.S. Enterprise was dispatched to intercept the object. Nearing Earth, the Enterprise, utilizing advanced shields, was able to penetrate the cloud, discovering inside a mindboggling collection of what appeared to be all that the mysterious nebula had encountered on its journey. Never before in the history of the Federation had such a fantastical collection of objects been observed. In an effort lead by Commander Spock, a vast amount of data was recorded from the interior of the cloud to the Enterprise's main computer.

Rapidly dissipating upon arrival at the planet Earth, the only remnant of the previously massive cloud, a capsule measuring approximately two meters in height and three meters in diameter, went almost unnoticed as it entered the Earth's atmosphere. Utilizing ancient "parachute" technology, the capsule soft-landed at the National Mall in Washington, DC, United States, United Earth.

Emerging from the scorched capsule was a being with the appearance of an adult human female. Entering Earth's ancient United States Capital Building (know today as "The Capital Museum"), she displayed an object to a member of museum security, then took a seat in the building's Chamber of the United States Senate. When questioned, the guard stated that the object appeared to be an ancient form of identification. All he could discern from the aged and tattered card was a portion a single word - Cl'ton.

ORIGIN OF CL'TON

Pieced together from the fragmented records of pre-World War III Earth by a team of librarians and researchers at Memory Alpha, details of what lead to the incident now known as "The Cl'ton Event" began to take shape.

In September of the Earth year 2008, a group of wealthy citizens of the United Sates of America, all members of a society know at the time as The Democratic Party (the Federation political party known today as "The Cult of Obama"), procured a decommissioned Peacekeeper intercontinental ballistic missile. Fitting it with a primitive cryogenic capsule and designating the craft "SOROS 1", the group launched it from an unused strategic nuclear missile silo in the remote U.S. state of Arkansas. Utilizing the gravitational pull of Earth's Moon, and later the Sol System's planet Jupiter, the cryogenic capsule was catapulted from the star system at a high rate of sub-light speed.

The then highly mysterious launch coincided with a particularly tumultuous period within the Democratic Party. A member of the United States Senate by the name of Hillary Rodham Clinton had lost her bid to become the nominee of the Democratic Party for the office of President of the United States, consequently launching an independent campaign for the office. Unexpected by many, the public reaction paled in comparison to the surprise brought by her withdrawal from the race a mere twenty-three days later. Hillary Rodham Clinton soon after became known as one of the most strident supporters and valuable allies of her former opponent, the legendary former President of the United States and host of the long running and influential weekly video series "Yes We Can, America!", Barack Obama.

Upon exhumation, the grave of Hillary Rodham Clinton was found to contain an early, previously unknown, and unexpectedly advanced prototype of the DATX android, production models of which were introduced for purchase in the United States in the Earth year 2021 by cybernetics pioneer (and outspoken Democrat) Dr. Maury Soong.

Although data from within the cloud indicated that a great space battle (culminating in a meeting with God) lead to Cl'ton's evolution, physical evidence has proven conclusively that extended exposure to cosmic radiation, in combination with faults in the capsules primitive cryogenic unit, were responsible for the senator's extraordinary mutation.

In a tragic disappointment to citizens of the Federation, what had seemed to be an almost limitless volume of information and experiences from Cl'ton's journey was found to be almost completely useless. Upon inspection, the data had been extensively manipulated, exaggerated to a point in which it bared only the slightest similarity to reality. Federation programmers continue to develop de-exaggeration algorithms, but they anticipate only marginal success in decrypting the data.

Cl'ton can be observed today, requesting quorum calls alone on the Capital Museum's Senate Floor, and periodically holding press conferences, announcing her candidacy for President of the United States, refusing to acknowledge that such an office no longer exists.