From the Smallton Desperation Daily Journal:

by Tab Lloyd
     Late Sunday night, sources revealed that John McCain accepted Hillary Clinton's offer to run on her ticket as her Vice-President.  "And Senator Clinton has agreed to be my Vice President" McCain is reported to have said after speaking with Hillary Clinton. "I'm so pleased that she has done all the dirty work by throwing false attacks at Senator Obama. I couldn't say no to her offer and felt obligated to ask if she'd run with me as the new 'Dream Team.'  When you get down to it, we think so much alike. We both love war and deficit spending for example."  As proof Senator McCain cited detailed examples where both he and Senator Clinton have voted for war, in addition to outrageous budgets. 
      On background, an insider strategist confirmed the back-channel conversations with the McCain campaign.  "Hillary and John have agreed," the insider said, "that Obama is just too earnest in his desire to begin a new conversation in Washington. Both sides agree, we need to keep the conversation about welfare and tax cuts and leave it at that," the source said. "Obama's rational approach won't work. Hillary and John agree that American's aren't smart enough to change course in a more positive an logical direction. If they were, half of the Senate and three-quarters of the House would get voted out in November (serious laugh by the quoted)."
   When asked when they would go public, both camps said they would wait for the results of the Pennsylvania campaign.  "A win of  Pennsylvania by 1%," the Clinton strategist said, "will prove that Obama's massive lead in state and popular vote wins don't matter. We will march on. The entire country knows that how Kentucky goes, so goes the Nation."
      When contacted for comment, the Obama campaign would only say "Senator Clinton, then wife of candidate Bill Clinton, supported her husband despite her knowledge of the devestating flaws that nearly brought the Presidency to its knees.  Today, Senator Clinton also knows that Senator Barack Obama will enter the Presidency with a clear conscience and more focus on the needs of the country.  But, that doesn't matter because she really, really wants to be President."