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"You don't choose your family"
I've always been puzzled why "family values" types hated Hillary as well as Bill after the Lewinsky affair. I found her loyalty admirable, especially in the face of such public humiliation. I gave her extra credit because I assumed that she weighed the terrible cost to the Nation had she left Bill while he was still in office, and I believe that people throw away relationships too easily.
I'm saddened now that she's not as generous with Obama and his supporters. She heard his explanation and I'm certain she's heard that many of his supporters accepted that explantion. I accept Obama's explanation that Reverand Wright "contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years."
Many of us forgave Bill because we could see the "good and the bad", and Hillary's choice to stay with him was completely personal. I suspect that she and Bill had conversations with Chelsea regarding the complexity of important relationships.
I suspect that Barack and Michelle have the same kinds of conversations with their young daughters regarding the complexities of their community.
But when Hillary says that "you don't choose your family", I'd like to remind her that she chose Bill, the good and the bad. Many of us assigned class and generosity to her in the face of all of the criticism, and admired her for rejecting our throw-away society.
I am truly saddened to see a pattern that suggests that she is not the woman I've admired all these years.













Comments (7)
That statement shows that she's incredibly tone deaf on black people. We stay with our churches/mosques. That's community. When you move to a new city, one of the first things many black people do is look for a house of worship to anchor themselves.
My grandmother, before she passed away in '05, was a member of the same church she joined when she first moved to Kansas City back in the 30s. The other church she joined (I have a very religious family) in the 60s she never wavered even when she didn't care for the pastors. My father, who is a preacher, still goes to the same church he went to as a child and he couldn't stand most of the other pastors.
I went to the same 3 mosques when we moved to LA in '81. I still go to those same 3 mosques and that's included some stupid, lame and hateful imams. Most of my friends who are 26 - 58 years old, go to the same churches they went to as children or went they first moved to Los Angeles. Leaving? Pastor would have had to been found snorting coke off a dead male hooker's sack to get people to leave.
March 25, 2008 11:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
Exactly.
March 25, 2008 11:18 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey! Fancy seeing you here. I just finished adding you to my blogroll.
March 25, 2008 11:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
It's the height of arrogance to assume every culture or race has the same sociological tendencies.
It's as though some people are still living in the 50s.
Change is inevitable and easier for some than others. And you can tell.
The past kicks and screams when it realizes it's not part of the future.
March 26, 2008 12:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
I mean you had to expect it to happen, right? It was fodder for her. I guess what makes it worse for me is that she knows that this is bs, and says it anyhow. I know this is real politik, but is there ever a line?
March 26, 2008 1:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hillary Clinton: suicide bomber? She has to assume people are going to bring this stuff up. She has to assume that we she criticizes the personal relationships of others, she's inviting criticism of her own. Maybe she's trying to lose.
And I agree with fabooj. It struck me as incredibly presumptuous when she said she'd just quit the church. Even as an outsider, she would know that there's probably a community there you don't just up and quit. She's not an idiot. But she's relying on others to be idiots for her.
March 25, 2008 11:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Brilliant comment. It sums up exactly what I have been feeling since Hillary broke her 3 week silence to criticize Obama for standing by his Pastor in her interview with Richard Mellon Scaife and his crack team of former-Clinton bashing wingnuts who are looking for some fresh ammo to use on Obama in the general election. Put aside the bizarre choice of an audience to whom she offered up this particular attack, and piut aside her obvious motive, which was to distract attention from the Snipergate gaffe (actually, let's call it what it really is -- a conscious lie told at least 3 or 4 times, with additional false details added in each time, an that apparently represents the tip of an iceberg in that regard) that threatens her very candidacy. All of that is politics -- a particularly heinous form of politics, IMHO -- but on some level understandable given the formidable challenge she faces.
But to not recognize in Obama's decision to stay with Trinity United and its Pastor, Dr. Wright, the same impulses that gave rise to her own decision to stay with Bill despite all of his flaws (not to mention his repeated public humiliations of her), is a real triumph of political opportunism over grace, and a very saddening event given that it involves someone who I admired quite a bit, for years, and as recently as only a few months ago. For her to caste aspersions at Obama for staying with a Church whose highly respected pastor has been tarnished unfairly by approximately 20-30 minutes of intensely inflammatory rhetoric (OK, add a few whacky conspiracy theories to that) over an otherwise illustrious 40 year career devoted to serving his community and congregation -- and who spoke up for her husband when he was under attack at the deepest depths of the Lewinsky scandal -- when she herself has stayed in a marriage with a serial adulterer who publicly humilated her on numerous occasions (which is as warped a way of summing up the totality of their marriage and lives as the Fox News sound-bite loop is in summing up the totality Dr. Wright and the church he led until his retirement earlier this year). Who is she to throw that particular stone, given her continued association with a man who, despite his greatness, is also so unbelievably flawed and has acted so badly towards her.
Politics makes strange bedfellows. Hillary now finds herself in the company of Scaife, Limbaugh, Buchanan and Scarborough, Drudge, Krauthammer and others who have been her arch-enemies over the years. I guess she thinks we are stupid enough to believe that this is because she actually has appeal across party lines -- but really what it is is a Faustian bargain with the right wing devil himself, in order to save her campaign and destroy a candidate who has so completely eclipsed her that it is now personal, nothing short of his complete destruction will do. Can that be it? Is this the same person I used to admire? I wish I knew, but I don't think Im going to like the answer.
March 27, 2008 2:56 AM | Reply | Permalink
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