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Mike Gravel should drop out after Tuesday
I have no problem with Mike Gravel. He's run a fine race, and his innovative ad campaign will be studied by strategists for years to come. The one with the rock broke ground never before broken by any candidate and likely never to be broken again, unless he runs in 2012. The mental image of his determined stare still gives me goosebumps. I also appreciate his important contributions to the Democratic debates, though I don't really remember them. But if I remembered them, I'm sure that I would appreciate them. It's not my fault that I wasn't paying attention. Until the fourth debate, I thought that he was just somebody's crazy grandpa who sat in the wrong seat. I blame the media for not clearly explaining that he was not anyone's crazy grandpa.
But look, even if he isn't anyone's crazy grandpa, it's time for him to leave the race. We need to move on and face the common enemy, that other guy who looks like someone's crazy grandpa. Gravel's relentless attacks and weird ads are distracting Obama and Clinton, who don't know how to respond. If they go negative on Gravel and the Republican guy at the same time, it will look like they hate old people, and that would be a tragedy for the party because those geezers sure know how to vote.
I know that the Gravel-bots say that he can still win the nomination. It may be true that some of the 2% of voters who prefer "Other" are Gravel supporters. But I've added up the numbers. Obama has 1,378 delegates, Clinton has 1,269, and Gravel has 0, which is actually less than the margin of error. He would need to get almost all the 1400 remaining delegates to win this thing. While it's numerically possible, that would mean that he would have to win almost 100% of the remaining votes and uncommitted superdelegates in order to win. Just because it happened in Turkmenistan doesn't mean that it can happen here. Moreover, the momentum is not in his favor; Obama and Clinton continue to make headway among voters who prefer "other".
There are those who think that he should stay in the race to try to broker the convention and maybe negotiate VP. But without any delegates, his negotiating position isn't very good. I think that he would have more influence by joining Gore in the role of neutral party elder. He would be able to fulfill this role even better than Gore because Gore just isn't elder-y enough yet, even though he has a beard. Gravel doesn't need facial hair to be a party elder. He has natural graveltas.
Comments (40)
"Gravel-bots"
Ha.
March 3, 2008 9:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
By the way, neither Hillary nor Obama have a 20% lead in Ohio and Texas, so it is clear that Gravel is the better GE candidate.
March 3, 2008 9:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Touché.
By the way, Gravel has now lost 30 straight contests many of which were unprecedented blowout losses, and he still hasn't been knocked out of the race. That just proves that he is a solid and formidable candidate and validates his chances in the general should he manage the improbable comeback.
March 4, 2008 1:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
Great point. And I hear Bill Richardson's "torn" between Obama, Hillary, and Gravel.
March 3, 2008 9:16 PM | Reply | Permalink
"natural GRAVELtas"
lol
Seriously, unless Mike wins some big states, it's almost time to consider throwing in the towel.
March 3, 2008 9:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
You know, the funny part is I can't tell if you're being serious, funny, or attempting satire.
Probably a bit of all three..
March 3, 2008 10:03 PM | Reply | Permalink
See:
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/03/obama-should-drop-out-after-tu.php
March 3, 2008 10:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
I saw that. Guess I kinda missed the connection. Thanks though.
March 4, 2008 1:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
But there's still hope for Gravmentum!
If Hillary and Obama drop out at the exact same moment on Wednesday morning, both after realizing that they won't be able to secure 2025 delegates necessary to seal the nomination. Then party elders will seek to quickly unify the party and unpledged superdelegates endorse Gravel as one, giving him an immediate delegate count of 800. Gravel, being the only candidate left, wins every delegate in Wyoming, Mississippi, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Indiana, Florida, Michigan...all the way to the nomination!
Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can!
Gravel-Penn 08!
March 3, 2008 10:19 PM | Reply | Permalink
I heard he was a Muslim.
March 3, 2008 10:26 PM | Reply | Permalink
He says that he's not a Muslim, and I take him at his word.
March 3, 2008 11:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Why should he drop out? He going to run as an independent anyway. The DNC should be ashamed of themselves after they they let ABC kick him to the curb in the third debate. Gravel is the only real progressive running. Sorry if he "bothers" you.
March 3, 2008 10:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Excellent point. Had the media not quashed Gravel's candidacy, it would have been an entirely different race. I hereby reject and denounce my entire post. Run, Gravel, run.
(Maybe he should team up with Huckabee, and they can implement the Fair Tax together. Mike & Mike: a squirrel in every popcorn popper.)
March 3, 2008 11:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
You know, you're just a little bit cruel. That just makes you funnier.
This was cute, but my favorite so far was that post of yours a couple of weeks back, after the flurry of reports about the campaigns "stealing each others' delegates -- "Report: Clinton Campaign May Try To Poison Obama's Pledged Delegates"
Oh, yeah. And the one about what the candidates' pick-up lines would be in a singles' bar.
March 3, 2008 11:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
I know it. Certain posters seem to bring it out in me, especially those who don't get the joke. And I agree, it's not my best post. Gravel is too easy a target. I'll try to maintain the standard of excellence that my readers, or reader, have come to expect. ;)
(I kind of liked "a squirrel in every popcorn popper" though.)
March 4, 2008 12:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
Yes, I loved the "squirrel in every popcorn popper" campaign slogan--that was the best part of your post!
Btw, I grew up in Louisiana and have eaten squirrel (mmmm.....squirrel gumbo). So I was amused but not surprised by Huckabee's story about cookin' up squirrels in the popcorn popper at his college dorm.
March 4, 2008 12:52 AM | Reply | Permalink
It's not the squirrel that cracks me every time I think about it so much as the popcorn popper, or maybe the combination. I picture a whole cookbook called, "The Popcorn Popper Gourmet". The best recipe would obviously be "popcorn popped possum".
March 4, 2008 1:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think familiarity with popcorn-popper cooking might have something to do with age. Back in the early 80s, we weren't allowed to have hot plates or coffee makers or anything but popcorn poppers in our dorm rooms (I don't really understand the reasoning for this, but apparently this dorm policy was widespread) and microwave popcorn hadn't caught on yet...so we actually did a bit of popcorn-popper cooking. Seriously. My roommate and I never tried anything as ambitious as squirrel or possum, though.
March 4, 2008 1:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
"a squirrel in every popcorn popper" AND a stone in every pond.
March 4, 2008 12:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Deep.
March 4, 2008 2:44 PM | Reply | Permalink
This makes more sense than p_lukasiak's tortured logic.
March 4, 2008 12:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
Oh man.. Genghis.. great post, great responses, best laugh I've had all day. Sometimes satire truly is the best weapon. I'll be watching for more. The next couple of days almost guarantee some juicy fodder. No pressure :)
March 4, 2008 12:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
Picking on Gravel for humor strikes me as about as funny as a high school student ridiculing a homeless vet. It's a cheap shot that demeans a truly brave and outspoken man who saw the madness of our time and called it what it was.
March 4, 2008 1:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ridiculing homeless vets, quixotic political campaigns, and rodent preparation were all popular pastimes at my high school. Oh the memories...
(Sometimes, we were actually ridiculing foolish blog posts. The vets, politicians, and rodents simply served as convenient foils.)
March 4, 2008 1:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
how many of the first 3300 proportionally allocated delegates has he won? and he is still in the race. If he is off limits then nobody is fair game for satirical humor. just kill me now.
March 4, 2008 1:44 AM | Reply | Permalink
You forget the super-delegates, who are beginning to trend to him.
March 4, 2008 8:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
Kramer,
This is a satire of an earlier post entitled "Obama should drop out after Tuesday." It's not really about Gravel.
Btw, given the context, I think even Gravel would think this is pretty damn funny.
March 4, 2008 1:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
Kramer, I didn't take this as picking on Gravel. I took it as picking on HRC. And of the many things she is, homeless vet doesn't immediately jump to mind.
March 4, 2008 1:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
BREAKING NEWS. In a memo recently released by Luxembourg TV, Gravel's chief strategist has told the King of Luxembourg that the stones by the pond were actually imported from Guatemala. Gravel's strategist (who is also his grandson) will neither confirm nor deny that such a conversation took place. The campaign firmly denies that any statement was made, and insist that these unmade statements do not contradict their heretofore unspecified consistent position on river rocks.
Gravel supporters insist that this is a nonstory, that the King of Luxembourg is just a low-level employee, and that he really doesn't talk to his grandson much anwyay (he is reportedly just a part-time grandson).
Pressed on the issue by reporters, Gravel said, "I have answered eight questions on this already!" He answered no more questions and retreated to the silent meditation pond.
March 4, 2008 2:28 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think I know what someone would say:
THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS!!! FOR HILLARY!!!
March 4, 2008 3:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
LOL!!!!
Thanks, clearthinker. I knew something was missing from this thread....
March 4, 2008 3:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
Genghis -
You put Khan to shame! :)
Rock the f' on!!!
I look fwd to all your post and comments - t'anks a mil.
March 4, 2008 4:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
And on the Republican side, on Inauguration Day 2009, while the new President is being sworn in, Ron Paul supporters will still be plaintively saying, "Ron Paul is a serious candidate! You've got to take a look at this guy."
March 4, 2008 9:13 AM | Reply | Permalink
Can you imagine how unstoppable a Paul/Gravel ticket would be? The popularity of being against the Civil War combined with the excitement of standing next to a pond.....Wow. I'm feeling faint.
When will people finally demand that the major candidates express an opinion on Anti-Civil War Pond Proximity?
March 4, 2008 10:42 AM | Reply | Permalink
Why should he drop out when some of us didn't realize he was still in?
I appreciate his 50-state policy - how not to be seen in all 50. Unfortunately we don't know how many he hasn't been seen in, but undoubtedly quite a number.
On to the finish line!!! To the victor go the spoils!!!
March 4, 2008 9:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
Mike Gravel should drop out after Tuesday, and Genghis should get hired. TPM, if you're listening ...
March 4, 2008 10:12 AM | Reply | Permalink
Look. As Geraldine Ferraro pointed out, only 30% of democrats actually vote in primaries. Hardly a mandate. And studies of shown that less than 2/3 of the country actually votes in the election.
So can we really be comfortable having a candidate who has only won a majority of 2/3 of the vote? Clearly we need a gathering of high profile intellectual and spiritual leaders who understand the economic and psychic stakes of the race who will then select the candidate that is best suited for the job. And that candidate is Mike Gravel. He moves rocks with his mind for Christ's sake.
Calls for Gravel are presumptuous until everyone's voice has been heard.
March 4, 2008 7:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
Once again my haste precedes my grammar check.
studies HAVE shown.
Calls for Grave TO DROP OUT are presumptuous.
*sigh*
March 4, 2008 7:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
Genghis (or should I call you Temujin?) I hope you're the PP that David Kurtz just featured on the front page. Otherwise somebody has ripped you off!
March 4, 2008 7:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thanks for the heads up. It seems that I have indeed been plagiarized. I'll get that PP if it's the last thing I do, and his little buddy Kurtz too.
And thanks to all the rest of you for the amusing comments (intentional or not). Better than the original post.
March 4, 2008 9:59 PM | Reply | Permalink
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