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Let's Parse It Out: Hillbots vs. Obamaicans
There are some of us (and I don't know that I always belong in the following catagory) who try to keep some sort of rational 'middle road' in this whole Primary who-ha.
Often times I find myself with a cup of Kool-aid at my lips, and sometimes I even enjoy it's refreshing "hope" aftertaste.
But I always try and stop and think "Do I really know that's true? Or am I just being a good little Meme passing machine?"
Well, I'd like to take this opportunity to parse out some of the major "beefs" both sides have with the other. Will this be Obama biased? Oh, you bet. But, I'm going to do my best to walk the middle road. Follw me down to see if I'm able to keep that up:
Race:
Ok, this is a great bigee, no? Yep, one of our candidates is a black man. Although we know, back when all of this was barely started, that he might not be black enough. Well, thank god those days are gone. Now we know that yes, he really really is black, and black enough. Probably. As far as I know. How have the two sides been at this issue:
Hillbots: "YOU BUNCH OF RACE BAITERS!" It's consistently claimed by most Hillary supporters I've read that Obama's campaign has used every chance it can get to play the race card. Bill Clinton wasn't being racist when mentioning the "Fairy Tail" and Hillary wasn't being racist with her "LBJ drinks MLK's Milkshake" comment. I've yet to hear any Hillary supporter find fault with any of the statements made by Bill and Hill that the 'other' camp finds so odious. Let's note though, that many of the comments people have problems with come directly from Bill and Hill. Ok, and Ferraro.
Obamaniacs: "OH MY GOD! Hillary has chosen a lighter shade of foundation! She's trying to make herself look more WHITE to make Obama look more BLACK!" Many Obamaniacs find the racist bugaboo around every corner. I think the whole "darkening of the Obama YouTube clip" fiasco was good evidence of this. Something that, even if true, just makes us sound shrill when we get all up in arms about it.
Mr. Middle of the Roadiac: There is so much needless drama about this! And, so much needed drama too. One thing I will say, and I think this puts me firmly on the Obama side of the equation: Most of the statements that have been questionable on the Clinton side have come from Bill and Hillary themselves, who I'm certain are very careful and deliberate about what they are saying, at least most of the time. Many of the 'race baiting' lines the Hillbots froth about come from people not even associated with the campaign (Jesse Jackson and Katrina anyone?). Obama himself has taken the high road on this pretty consistently. Plus, I don't care what anyone says, his speech on Race WAS historic, and presidential. And yes, I will fully admit that there is some truth to the idea that Obama lets his campaign and surrogates say things so that he doesn't have to say them himself. He is a politician. A better one, I think, in this regard.
Character, Integrity, and the Pants On Fire screed:
Hillbots: "Obama is an empty suit! Rezko! Wright! REZKO! VETTING! VEEEETTTIING! REZZKO! Damn IT! I SAID REZKO, AREN'T YOU LISTENING? Oh, and Law professor? Phhhht!"
Fortunately, we don't hear too much about Rezko from the Clinton Campaign itself anymore, probably because THERE IS NOTHING Effing THERE! But, it's still trumpeted around by Hillbots, who cite it as baaaaad judgement on Obama's part. The irony is: OBAMA AGREES, and has from the very beginning. Of course, we don't want politicans who admit to making mistakes. If they do that we can't tear them down for making themselves out to be perfect and Messianic and...oh wait, they are doing that anyway, go figure. Also, Obama isn't Vetted! The Right Wing will TEAR HIM APART! He's a liar and hasn't done anything! He is the worst of Chicago Politics COME TO LIFE! OMG! He has Lied, LIED about his senate record (just see the recent Hillary memo), and so has no right to critize Hillary for her, um, misstatements, or mispokements, or sleep-deprevation-enhanced-truthiness-correctives.
Obamaniacs: HILLARY IS THE DEVIL! NO, SHE IS! I SWEAR! If you say her name in the mirror three times in the dark, she'll come through the mirror and chew your face off! My cousin tried it one time...and he still hasn't come out of the mental institution! The Obamaniacs really do seem to see Clinton hiding under their bed. While there have been some doozies from the Clinton campaign, it is certainly true that there are legions of bloggers out there just waiting for the slightest hint of anything "untruthy" from Hillary. OMG! She said she was the first first lady to fly into a combat zone! Doesn't she know that so and so obscure fact of history went to such and such history channel special blah blah blah! OH NOES! DIDN'T you HEAR what she said about Chelsea after 9/11? Dick Morris said (wait, wait, you are really quoting Dick Morris?) No Wait! He said she said that he said that she said that Chelsea jumped out of one of the planes! Chelsea didn't do that! What a Liar! omg..OMG! SNIIIIPPEEEEEERR GAAAAAAAAATE! (billions of Obamaniacs silmultaneously have a virtual orgasam) We have her on the ropes NOW! SHE IS TOAST! GET OUT OF THE ELECTION!
Mr. Middle of the Roadadroid: Ok, let's all settle down. Obama isn't an empty suit. That is patently ridiculous. We've all seen the old Beach photos where he's lookin' all Charlton Heston. There is PLENTY under that suit, plainly. Also, the man is a CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR and all around smart smart man. If you haven't read his two books, you are no longer allowed to comment on them. If you've say you've read them, and still bash those books, I don't believe it you and it's immediate ground for calling out Shennanigans! However, Obama is not completely unstained here. He should have done his interview with the Chicago Newspapers a lot sooner, for sure, to get Rezko out of the way. Fortunately for us Kooladians, he has now done so and Put...It...To...Bed. The Law Professor thing doesn't bother me either, but maybe it's because I support him. Ok, here is why his Law Professor thing is completely uncomparable to Sniper Gate, for me: Even his university admits that he is completely qualified to be a law professor...it's just that he didn't have time. It's not as if he claimed he was something he was unqualified for, or that they hadn't offered him. My feeling is that calling himself such was an ill informed decision that most voters wouldn't really respond to the term "Senior Lecturer" as well as "Law Professor". Sniper-Gate though, well, come one Hillbots: She has been hammering away at her National security credentials for weeeeeeeks now, and has repeated this story about four times, each time pretty much insisting on it's veracity, as a prime example of her dealing with true, real, genuine, foreign policy crises. So, when it turn out that is 98.8989% false....yeah, we Obamabots get to have our little moment of glee, after having been pounded by Wright for a while. Deal with it.
And finally, both Hillary and Obama are guilty of puffing up their senate resumes. Neither side should use it against the other. They are both guilty, so is McCain. So, lets all agree to drop that one, ok? It's not going anywhere.
Damn, this has become very long. Well, feel free to add more. Flame me! Flame eachother! Screw civility! Let's use this thread to get the most baseless attacks we can off our chest, so that maybe in other, more focues threads, we can return to a reasonable and rational discourse.
Or, we can ignore this thread, and go on posting other threads about this issue and that distraction. We can do that.
We can let this thread fall to the very bottome of the user posted threads list. We can ignore it's call for an all out flame war. We can do that.
Or, we can take this moment to engage in a catharctic name calling session to end all sessions. We can get SO vitriolic and ridiculous, that maybe, just maybe, we'll be forced to laugh at the stereotypes we've become. We might just be forced to look at the ridiculousness of our own positions reflected back to us by Bots of all colors.
Yes we Can!













Comments (2)
Uh, sorry for all of the spelling error in there folks!
March 27, 2008 1:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
I like "Obamaican", as long as it's pronounced like "Jamaican", as in "I'm an Oba-maican." It gives it that nice multicultural sound. "Come to Oba-maica, land of hope and inspiration".
I like Hillbot and Obamabot, too. Anything that suggests robots is always appealing. Who doesn't like robots?
Remember that episode of Star Trek where Spock made the robot's head explode with his logic-busting line, "Everything I say is a lie"?
Everytime I hear Hillary twist logic I feel like my head is going to explode, too. Maybe she's a closet Star Trek fan and saw how effective a tactic this is against her opponents.
March 27, 2008 2:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
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