I returned this year to Bowie, Arizona after annihilating a bunch of Burmese thugs and I thought I was finally going to be able to enjoy some peace and quiet, but it seems that life always has different plans for JJR.  When I tried to return from Vietnam after serving my country dutifully I was greeted like an outcast by that jerk, Sheriff Will Teasle.  I was just passing through, but oh no.. we had to do things his way.  However, like most who cross paths with JJR he proved that he was truly unprepared to compete on my level.  After that, it wasn't too long that JJR found himself back in southeast Asia.

But that was all supposed to be water under the bridge.  Not so fast, JJR.  There was a new war going on at home.  They call it the Democratic Primary.

For a while I was content to watch from the bushes and do some recon.  That was okay for a while, but then the story about HRC's trip to Bosnia broke out.

First you had that hack Sinbad piping up about where he was eating next.  Typical civilian.  Now they're trying to roast HRC with a bunch of bogus unclassified footage.  She says she misspoke.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  You see, JJR was there and HRC is being entirely too modest.

HRC's mission was doomed from the start.  Her aircraft came in under heavy fire.  We tried to secure the plane as quickly as possible after an evasive landing, but the tarmac was under assault from mortars.  The crew chief was trying to get everyone to safety when he was mortally wounded by a sniper.  Carotid artery.  He was dead before he hit the ground.  HRC fell down on him, ripping off part of her pantsuit to try and stop the bleeding.  I yelled at her that he was gone and after a few seconds I caught eye contact that told me she understood: It was a cold, battle-hardened look that I knew well.  Soldiers die.  We had to worry about the living.

I was running to her to pull to her feet when a mortar nearly put an end to the lifelong campaign of JJR.  I was knocked to the ground, completely disoriented.  When I came to, I was being dragged to cover behind an APC by HRC.  She had saved my life and was returning fire using the sidearm that she had pulled from the downed crewman.  My ears were still ringing.

Two tangos were rushing the tarmac, but HRC took them both down with an accuracy that can only come from the madness of raw combat.  She pulled me into the APC and asked me if I could drive.  I nodded and got into the driver's seat.  HRC got on the ma-deuce and began to mow down the opposition.  The bloodbath that ensued was far too graphic for the average reader, but take it from JJR: Reports that the conflict in Bosnia had largely been concluded are a revisionist's history.  That conflict was brought to a close on that fateful day in 1996 by an honored soldier named Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I'm usually a man of few words, but when a story like this surfaces about someone with whom JJR stood shoulder to with on the field of battle it is my duty to set the record straight.