Dateline Laramie, Wyoming: This afternoon, Senator Rodham Clinton, surrounded by Generals from the Union Army, appeared before the press.

Clinton: Thank you all for coming. I'm so proud and honored to be running in the same race as Abraham Lincoln. I do want to say about our expected opponent  on the other side that Jefferson Davis and I have both crossed the Commander in Chief threshold.

Reporter: Yorn Slamski. Laramie Gazzette. Senator, if you don't end up as the nominee of your party, isn't it a dangerous thing to say that Jefferson Davis is more qualified than your immediate opponent, Mr. Lincoln?

Clinton: I'll be candid. The first thing someone must do to cross the Commander in Chief threshold is to say or do anything to win their party's nomination. This is the only way to show how passionate you are about winning. My statement is proof that I have crossed said threshold.

Reporter: You aren't worried about the potential damage you may do to your party and to Mr. Lincoln should he be the nominee?

Clinton: Black beard. Threshold. Shame on you Mr. Lincoln. Threshold. Canada. 3 a.m. Hide your babies!

Reporter: Senator?

Clinton: I find it very curious you are asking me all these questions first.

Reporter: But it's your press conference. You're the only one here. 

Clinton: Right. Well, Jefferson Davis and I have proven our credentials to answer such questions. You'll have to ask Mr. Lincoln about his credentials.  3 a.m.!!!

Reporter: You said that already.

Clinton:  Really?  I'm sorry. Did I mention that Jefferson Davis and I have passed the Commander in Chief threshold?

Reporter: Um, yes. On a different topic, your claim of being vetted doesn't include your 2006 tax returns, donors to your husband's library, the donors to the 527 who had already maxed out in donations directly to your campaign, and the host of issues opponents will dredge up from your husbands administration whether they are true or not.

Clinton: Let me be clear. As far as I know Abraham Lincoln is not a Muslim. 

Reporter:  . . .okay, right. People have been saying that but it's not true.

Clinton: One thing you learn in politics is that if you say enough things enough times, after a while many of them sound true.

Following this statement an aid ushered Senator Clinton to her next event, one of many.