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Another Important Perspective in Hillary's BOSNIA lie...
Oh, yes! I remember it well!
I was flying into the dangerous airport of Calgary, Canada. The wind was whipping around the airport like whipping wind. The flight attendant came over the intercom..."Please return your seats to their upright positions." My stomach began to churn. What would we encounter next on this perilous flight? "This is a reminder than you should leave all electronic devices turned off until we come to a complete stop at our gate." OH HEAVENLY JESUS FATHER ABOVE! WHATEVER WILL WE DO?
Our plane began to get attacked by a swarm of terrorist clouds. I looked out the right windows... CLOUDS! I looked out the left window... MORE CLOUDS! My heart was racing. I didn't know if we would make it!
I quickly opened the overhead compartment and grabbed every airplane pillow I could find. I covered myself with these pillows, creating a personal "foam fort" for protection in case we crashed. I began to pray to myself. "Oh lord not me. Not me! Take that 10 year old girl over there...but let ME live! I have too much good work to do."
Through my determined bravery, we we finally able to land... and as we deplaned I saw a man in a CALGARY tshirt wearing a big foam cowboy hat. He was waving and cheering "WELCOME!!!!" After I pushed him to the ground in order to protect the other passengers on the plane, I made a mad dash for our shuttle bus. Special Agent Sinbad was unable to make this flight... but an odd woman from Topeka who had a faint resemblance to Carrot Top was seated two rows behind me on the shuttle.
On the way to our hotel, our shuttle dodged raindrops and splattering bugs on the windshield. It was a scary and violent trip. As we pulled into the round-a-bout of the hotel, a cry arose from inside the shuttle.... Sweet Jesus! It was a...a.....a Holiday Inn EXPRESS. I threw up a little in my mouth. MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY! WILL THIS NIGHTMARE EVER END?
As I slid my room key into my door and entered...I immediately dashed for the room service menu. I opened it up my eyes grew enormous like saucers intended to hold something sauce-like. "We are sorry to inform you but due to the great anchovy shortage, we will be unable to accomodate any orders for the Zesty Fiesta Herb Crusted Chicken Caesar Salad Wrap". I fell to my knees and dropped my head into my hands and began to weep. It had been a perilous trip, and this was the last straw. OH THE HUMANITY!
Through sheer grit and determination, as well as access to a sleep number mattress and my personal stash of Kellogs Strawberry Nutra-Grain Granola Bars and Swedish Fish... I was able to make it through the night.
DAVE MORGAN FOR FRESIDENT 2008
I am Dave Morgan, and I approve this message
Comments (12)
Thanks! I needed a laugh like this today.
After President Obama's two terms, I'll work for your campaign.
March 24, 2008 2:55 PM | Reply | Permalink
I am also inclined to support the candidacy of Governor Morgan, but only on the condition that he pronounces "Calgary" closer to "Calgurie" than "Cal-Gary".
March 24, 2008 3:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
I hereby announce my candidacy for President 2016. I vow to only serve one term and in that term I will say nothing, do nothing, and think nothing. Every year at my State of the Union Address....I will simply say... "Hey guys... So who are ya'll liking on American Idol this year? Send your answers and thoughts to SeriouslyImPresident@yahoo.com Can you believe they make me wear a navy suit EVERY year for this thing? Gotta go.... the personal White House chef is making me some cheesy nachos!"
And the irony?
I would STILL be a better President than George W. Bush.
Please inform Senator, and future President, Barack Obama that I am ready and willing to serve as his Vice President.
March 24, 2008 4:52 PM | Reply | Permalink
Which reminds me I have a granola bar somewhere under the front seat of my car left over from canvassing for Bill Foster in IL-14 a few weeks ago.
Other than that I must object to your criticism of Hillary for being such a baldfaced liar. Her ridiculous story just proves she's a poor liar and not very experienced at deceiving people. I'm sure her qualms about "misspeaking" under pressure probably explains why she's so skittish about meeting with Chavez or Kim Jong Il. One of them might blurt out something objectionable and she might feel she has to prove she can be a bigger fool than he is by saying something equally outrageous backed up by an aircraft carrier group or two.
We need a president who realizes after a week or two of guffawing ridicule that changing her story is the right move, which you have to admit is a vast improvement over Bush. Elect Hillary and move the bar an inch off the floor!
March 24, 2008 5:15 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey! I once saved our country from a huge falling rock...er a meteorite! I also went to the Bahamas on a sailboat when I was just 18 and lived in France for a year when I was in my 30's. I visited 4 countries in Africa, I went to Germany, England, Brussels, Switzerland, Austria, Slovenija, Italy, Norway, Japan and Australia; I even went within 100 miles of the Arctic Circle (Svalbard -- and that's not all!
I am also a very sensible person who is owed NOTHING by big pharma or the insurance companies (I am a nurse, so I have their numbers!) As a mother of 2 18 year-old boys and a 22 year-old girl, I know when I am being lied to, and I know how to face it down!
OK, I was kidding about the meteorite, but why shouldn't I be President?
I promise I have had more on-the-ground experience than Hillary, and I have better judgement than she does; I could definitely take her on that front. But since I am not running, Barack (more qualified than even I am) ...is.
March 24, 2008 8:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
Barack (more qualified than even I am) ...is.
Are you not as qualified as he is because you've used more coke than he has? If so, we can't even consider you because, after all, it's about character and judgement you know.
March 25, 2008 12:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
Actually, the only Coke I've ever used is the "Diet" variety that comes in a can, and I've given that up for water. I can't stand inhaling anything, so even pot is out of the question.
C'mon, guys! I've changed my mind. I want to be President! I misspoke when I said Obama was more qualified than I am!
March 26, 2008 2:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
This Bosnia thing could become the Swiftboat ad in October. Just like Dukakis in the tank, they'll run this footage along side McCain in real danger in Vietnam. So much for the Commander in Chief threshold. She's toast.
March 24, 2008 9:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
Sorry CVille Dem you are not nearly the facile liar and bullshit artist Hillary is (meteorite? puhleaze!) and therefore you're way too "inexperienced" to be president.
March 24, 2008 11:31 PM | Reply | Permalink
At least she admitted she was wrong. Speaking of Dukakis, hows that Rev. Wright video coming?
March 25, 2008 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ah, ah, ah! She "mispoke". That implies accidental....not intentional. Her entire foreign policy experince claim is a FARCE.
But I would expect a Clinton supporter would be unable to see the forrest for all the trees.
Hahahahahaha
March 25, 2008 10:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
misspoke
1 : to speak (as a word) incorrectly
2 : to express (oneself) imperfectly or incorrectly
intransitive verb
liar
1: a person who tells lies
"I certainly do remember that trip to Bosnia, and as Togo said, there was a saying around the White House that if a place was too small, too poor, or too dangerous, the president couldn't go, so send the First Lady. That’s where we went. I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
"I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again," he said with a clenched jaw and stern expression that day. "I did not have sexual
relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time, never. These allegations are false."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/stories/starr072998.htm
FBI to Test Dress
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/stories/starr073198.htm
March 25, 2008 11:05 AM | Reply | Permalink
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