I have had the great fortune of living abroad for the entire Bush adminstration.  While it has spared me much of the day to day heartbreak that my fellow American's have undeniably endured during this tragic period on our nation's history, I too have suffered in foreign lands by seeing the perception of my country degrade and diminish in the eyes of so many around the world, and am saddened when I return annually to an America with an irrational fortress mentality.
 
During these past 7 years I've lived in 4 different countries.  The first was France, where my family arrived in the summer  before 9/11.  I had already lived in France and heard many "thanks" from French people (over the years prior to this return) for America's role in WWII.  I had also heard many remarks of admiration for all of the good things that America represented; openness, ingenuity, etc.  French people that I met, young and old, loved America. 

My kids began a local French school on September 4.  The kids didn't speak any French and we were an oddity; the one foreign "American" family in the entire school.  I'll never forget how the entire school reacted to 9/11.  How they reacted to us.   I had just seen the plane hit the second tower on CNN at home, and had to leave before watching the entire thing unfold because I had to collect the kids from school.  Afterall, 9/11 happened in the afternoon in France. 

When I arrived at school I saw the long line of cars that stretched around 2 blocks with parents waiting for children, all of the doors open, people listening silently to radio news broadcasts about the attack.  As I walked past them, people who only knew that I was the one "American" mother were quick to address me and say how sorry they were, how tragic for my country.  Many asked whether I had family who might have been hurt, where I was from, etc.  They were genuinely shocked and hurt.  They were all listening, and waiting along with every other American to see what might happen next.  They were with us. 

Over the next two years, all of the misguided talk of war against Iraq replaced the genuine feeling of solidarity that anyone in France had after 9/11. And why not?  The French became the enemy solely because they didn't agree with the Iraq war.  The entire nation became the object of ridicule and America embraced silly, jingoistic Republican battle cries declaring that French Fries would henceforth be Freedom Fries as though such proclaimations would ring the Liberty Bell loud enough to be heard across the Atlantic!

Take that France!  Nevermind that the French themselves call French Fries, "fried potatoes" and the concept itself originate in Belgium, (supposedly).

By the time I left, I was having rather heated discussions about the invasions of Iraq.  I opposed the war from the first hints that it was coming.  Not because I'm anti-war, but because a cursory read of Middle Eastern history since WWI would make it clear to anyone why military invasion in that region just doesn't make sense....almost NO upside to that misadventure.  It wasn't a secret, then or now.  Yet I was left defending my country, which I did, against calls to have the UN oversee any post-war operations.  No one cared about Saddam, but they did care about the US playing occupying force.  I countered these argument saying that while the invasion was a mistake, I believed that no other country would be better to "reconstruct" and "bring democracy" to Iraq than the US.  We had a history of doing such remarkable things...remember post-war Germany?  Remember post-war Japan? We knew how...

To a person, every Frenchman or woman said, "yes, of course, but this is not a world war...this is an American war with American goals.  The goals are not limited to ousting a dictator.  It is different."

For those bloggers who will jump on the argument about French interest, please realize that I am not so naive as to suggest that France (and Total) didn't have economic/oil designs, and that there were certainly more than a few political and economic imperatives that the French had in mind...but remember, I was talking to average French people...not government officials.  They knew the Iraq war was stupid.  The American public didn't.  We were duped...they weren't.

Fast forward to the next year and the Australians, even though they were part of the coalition of the willing they were anything but willing "IN" Australia.  Aussie's were scratching their heads as to why any one of their troops was going to war...but PM Howard would eventually pay the political price for that decision.  More than a few Aussie's expressed their view of Bush.  "He's a wanker!..."  I would only add to their comment "a bloody wanker!" which would always get a big round of laughs. Yet my anti-war/Bush comment didn't stop more than a few from speaking their minds and saying things like, "you Yanks think you can bloody invade anywhere you want!" 

Aren't we the peace-loving, democracy building country?

Then came Japan.  Boy.  By this time it was already difficult to meet people and tell them I was American.  It became apparent that many would try to work out what "kind" of American I was; the Gore/Kerry supporting kind or the Bush/Cheney kind.  I got to the point where it was easier to clearly identify myself as the kind of American that wasn't a Bush supporter; one that was anti-war.  This was almost always met with a sigh of relief.  Even Japanese taxi drivers would ask me whether I liked Bush, often giving me that famous Japanese "backward hiss" while saying, "Yeah...Bush...I don't know...America...really great country....but Bush.......yeah....I don't know....a little......dangerous."  [I think you have to know how Japanese speak to really appreciate the hesitation to say anything bad, and the fact that they said anything at all was indication enough that it was bad.  I guess you have to be there!]

Now Singapore. It is interesting because I was pleased to discover other Americans here who think like me, who have had more than a few uncomfortable moments with their Nationality while being abroad.  Not all, mind you.  There are a fair number of "enfranchised" corporate-folk who believe that Hillary is the anti-christ and Obama must be her illegitimate offspring somehow.  To these folks McCain is a clear thinker, and nevermind that he wears those kaleidascopic goggles that somehow show that the war in Iraq makes sense, and that the surge makes progress even though young soldiers are killed everyday. 

I struggle with American citizens who can NOW view the war as a good thing, even though I, to a certain degree, can understand that twisted world view from McCain.  Over Christmas this year I visited the famous "Hanoi Hilton" where he was held for those many years, right in downtown Hanoi, and it was truely a gruesome place.  And boy, did American's look like saints compared to the colonial brutality of the French!...But on the same trip I visited the Bomber airplane wreckage in the middle of the city and reflected on the absolute horror those people must have experienced night and day knowing that awesome, superior airplanes would fly over their homes and bomb them at random.  I realize that the US didn't bomb indiscriminantly over Hanoi, but we did bomb.  And people died.  That said, the Vietnamese, much like the Iraqi's (hopefully) someday, seem to be getting about building their economy and finding ways to make money and look back at the senseless American aggression against their country as a tragic chapter in their nation's history that is worth forgetting while worth profiting from as a tourist attraction.

They got my 5 bucks.

And won't it be a thrill to visit the "green zone" and "Sadar City" someday knowing that our nation was responsible for untold Iraqi deaths?  Forget the "Saddam killed his own people" BS...they didn't do a thing to us, nor did they threaten our power...and there are a tub-load of Iraqi's that are dead because of our actions.  And we wonder why people don't like us?  Don't trust us?

I digress.

So, I'm going to look at the close of the Bush Administration as the hopeful ending to a tragic chapter in America's hisory.  I choose to believe that my country will turn the page on the past, and choose a new direction for the future. We have a lot of damage to repair, both at home and abroad.  Looking to past leaders will not take us forward.  They've had their chance.  It's time to give change a chance and invite a new vision with new leadership into our government.

We have to do it.  Yes.  We can.  Yes.  We will.

Choose to leave partisan rancor in the past and embrace a new tone for our politics in the future.  The world is waiting for us to redefine America.  I am too.