How to Date a Corporation: Dating Rules for a Post-Citizens United World
The Supreme Court recently determined that corporations are entitled to freedom of speech because they are legally persons. The ramifications of this decision, Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission, cannot be overstated: it introduces an entirely new and untapped population into the dating pool.
Chances are you've never dated a corporation before. But don't be intimidated. This can be a fun and exciting opportunity... as long as you follow the corporation-dating rules.
1. Consider your options. There are a lot of corporations out there. Is this really the best corporation out there? Is this corporation "the one?" Or should you keep looking?
2. Don't seem too eager to get involved. Remember, corporations are predatory by nature and enjoy a chase.
3. Do a background check. What kind of relationships has this corporation had in the past? What is the corporation's history
4. Investigate the company the corporation keeps. Who is on its board of directors? Have any been indicted?
5. Check out the corporation's assets and figures. How do they look? Are they appealing to you?












