I, Hillary Clinton, your future president, thank you for your endorsement.

You and the trillions of wench-loving Americans like you, who cast ballots for me, have already spoken with one voice, to tell this nation the truth: that I have a proven record of wenchiness over the last 30 years, and some 44-year old from Alaska, who is herself barely new to the wenching business is no substitute for me.

I know wenches, John McCain certainly knows wenches, Barack Obama saw a wench once in 2004.

Leading the wench vote,
Leading the Alaskan pirate vote,
Leading you ALL,

Much Love,
Obama/Biden(/Hillary) 08.

Posted at September 2, 2008 6:01 PM in response to NOT THE FULL (MONTY) HALL

I, Hillary Clinton, your future president after the media discovers John McCain actually passed away three years ago (I'm just saying that Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June), thank you for your endorsement.

You, and the billions of voters like you, who will vote for John McCain, are actually voting for me. You know, John McCain has crossed the Vietnamese sniper-fire dodging threshold, and I too have crossed the sniper-fire dodging threshold. So the real question you should be asking yourself this election cycle is who do YOU want dodging sniper fire at 3am?

Much Love,
McCain/Hillary -> Hillary '08.

Posted at August 26, 2008 12:10 PM in response to Unity '08

I, Hillary Clinton, your future president, thank you for your endorsement.

You and the trillions of vaginal pirates like you, who voted for me, are greatly appreciated, when you donate to help retire my campaign debt.

Much Love,
Hillary.

Posted at August 22, 2008 9:51 AM in response to ARGH! CONVENTIONAL THINKING!!!

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, reject and denounce your obvious attempt to look cool by making a false jump on the "switch-to-Obama" bandwagon. Babies drool, they're not cool. So get off the Hillary->Obama bandwagon, and instead go back to the Obama->Hillary->Obama->Gravel->Obama bandwagon where you belong.

Leading the drooling baby vote!
Leading the drooling Gravel vote!
Leading you all!

Much Love,
Hillary/Gravel 08.

Posted at June 5, 2008 8:47 AM in response to My Apology

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, simply don't know. Quite and thoroughly simply, do not know what hand-to-hand has to do with getting fucked by a black man.

Much Love,
Hillary - the Black Candidate 08!

P.S. Congress is being run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about.

Posted at June 4, 2008 12:35 PM in response to Following the Rules

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, may not myself be black, but I also may, but I have definitely been fucked by a black man - in fact, the first black president of the United States.

Leading the racist vote!
Leading the fucked vote!
Leading you all!

Much Love,
Hillary - The only President to be fucked by another President.

Posted at June 4, 2008 12:12 PM in response to Following the Rules

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, hereby concede to the will of 349 trillion voters, who have raised their voices, to tell us they do not want me to be the Democratic nominee, and instead to become president today.

Much Love,
Hillary MMV(I)(I)(I)

Posted at June 4, 2008 11:10 AM in response to Hillary Is Still Running For President

(RAH) Hirrawee Cwinto, yah footer pwessidenk...

SPAT!

Sorry, had to get my opponent's cock out of my mouth. But do not worry - I was wearing a midnight blue dress that won't show any stains.

Much Love,
Hillary.

Posted at June 4, 2008 11:04 AM in response to Top 5 Lessons for future Dem candidates

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, thank you for this endorsement from the WWFE.

349 trillion voters in Michigan and Florida have raised their voices and the message is clear: Americans want me to skip the Democratic nomination, and become president today.

Much Love,
Hillary "The People's Cackle" 08.

Posted at June 4, 2008 10:44 AM in response to Hillary Clinton Did NOT Win the Popular Vote - Quit Lying Hillary, It's OVER - you lost

(I) Hillary Clinton, your future president, reject and denounce your obvious attempt to play the apricot race card. It is simply historical fact that Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in 1984.

You, and the sexist puppy media are directly responsible for the assassination of RFK by Bosnian sniper fire.

Much Love,
Hillary - The Puppy Candidate.

Posted at June 4, 2008 10:26 AM in response to Intrade Considering a Hillary Independent Campaign?