Memorial Day: One Holiday, Two Countries
For most Americans, Memorial Day weekend marks the triumphant return of summer: a trip to the beach and a day off of work - barbecues, beers and bargains. Yet, as most Americans head to the beach or the mall, many veterans and military families will travel to a cemetery. For veterans, there is no day of the year when the civilian-military divide feels greater. On Memorial Day, it feels like we are citizens of two different countries.
This holiday should be a solemn day of remembrance for the more than one million American service members of all generations who have given their lives in defense of our country, including the 5,454 men and women who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan. It is a humbling occasion to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice. But unfortunately, the significance of the day is often lost under the coolers and beach blankets in the trunk of the car.
Instead of driving to the beach, we're heading to our nation's capital, where IAVA members and their families will take part in a range of remembrance events. In Washington, we'll join Vice President Biden and other veterans' groups in the annual wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. We will visit Section 60, where the OIF/OEF veterans are buried--including CSM Eric Cooke and SPC Robert Wise, two men I served with in Iraq - two men that my soldiers and I will never forget. We will stand together on Arlington's hallowed ground to honor our fallen.
Arlington Cemetery is a place of tremendous symbolism. It is a place for deep reflection and essential learning. On Monday, Arlington is where the eyes of our nation will be focused. But on this immensely important day, President Obama and his family will not be there to stand with us. And that is unfortunate. As our Commander in Chief, it is the President's duty to deliver our most important message in the most powerful way-and to always lead by example. Just like all of our troops do.
Every time I am at Arlington, I think about CSM Cooke and SPC Wise. I also think about my grandfather who spent three years in the South Pacific in World War II. I think about what he had to go through fighting the Japanese, getting malaria, and being away from home for so long. If you saw HBO's The Pacific, you got the picture. He didn't talk to my grandmother for three years. Not even a single phone call. And that is part of the lesson. Men like my grandfather served and sacrificed so that we could live today in a world of freedom and relative safety. He was just one of the hundreds of thousands of service members who came before us and built our country into what it is today. Memorial Day is observed as a national holiday to ensure that we, as a nation, never take that service and sacrifice for granted.
And that message has never been more important. When my grandfather came home from World War II, he returned to a country that felt the war personally (12% of the American public had served). He came home to a nation committed to supporting the warriors. Today's veterans are returning to a country in which very few Americans have felt the cost of war, so very few Americans are in touch with the challenges our community is facing. Even on the most sacred remembrance day of the year, and after nine years of war on two fronts, too many Americans see Monday as just another play day.
But you can help change that. Take a moment this Monday to pause and pay respect to those who made the ultimate sacrifice in defense of our nation. Every American can pledge to help make Memorial Day the day of remembrance, not the day of mattress sales. Even if you're at the beach, you can take a moment to pause with your family and teach your kids what Memorial Day signifies. You can teach yourself and your family about what it means to serve your family, your community, and your country.
We can honor the fallen by supporting the living. I hope this Memorial Day marks the start of unparalleled support for those returning from war. Veterans don't need more empty political talk, they need real support and real action. Let's make this the year we recommit ourselves to our country's heroes, and to making a difference in their lives. And to never forgetting their sacrifice. Ever.
Rieckhoff is pro-veteran but not anti-war. The two positions are incompatible, leading him to wonder why the significance of Memorial day is often lost.
One important reason that most Americans head to the beach or the mall, and not to a cemetery, is that the casualties of recent wars the US has started haven't "given their lives in defense of our country" but in fact voluntarily served in bogus wars which were started for profit. As Rieckhoff himself has said, the reasons for invading Iraq were "bullshit"and the invasion "was one of the greatest foreign policy mistakes in our nation's history." The same could be said of Vietnam and Afghanistan, so most Americans see no need to make it a solemn day and celebrate it instead. Sad but true.
May 28, 2010 1:02 PM | Reply | Permalink
I concur. Korea wasn't even called a 'war,' rather was called a 'police action.' If my count is correct, I'm on my seventh war (I'm 78) so rather than American 'wars' being special, to be specially remembered, they're merely a way of life. And those who have served in them? Unfortunately, they're thought of more as employees than heroes. Very sad and very true.
May 28, 2010 1:23 PM | Reply | Permalink
We volunteered to serve the country. We did not choose the manner of that service, nor are we given many options for altering the missions that we are ordered to support. Unless dishonorable discharge and possible jail time are to be considered valid options.
It's fine to question the reasons for any particular military action, and in fact I probably agree with you on most of your positions in that regard (and I'd guess that Mr. Rieckhoff does as well). It is offensive to me, however, for you to say that I "voluntarily served in bogus wars". Did you think I was offered some type of menu when I signed up, from which I could choose which type of missions I would support?
You are not responsible for my reaction to your words, and I don't ask for an apology or retraction. I just wanted to say, fuck you.
May 28, 2010 4:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Boidster, the problem is that we have "One Holiday, Two Countries", and it doesn't matter why you enlisted.
People put yellow ribbons on their cars because it's showy and it's easy, and doesn't cost much, and in this way they "support the troops," but as Rieckhoff says they are not about to go out of their way to honor service, dead or alive.
Unfortunately, and this is Rieckhoff's dilemma, the mental gymnastics of not supporting the war but supporting the troops (I mean really supporting them) is a stretch for most people. Rieckhoff supports both the wars (even though he knows better) and the troops so it's easier for him.
As for your verbal blast, I forgive you. It's a difficult subject.
May 28, 2010 4:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'll keep an eye out for your defense of this statement:
This has nothing to do with the meaningless yellow ribbons people put on the back of their SUVs, nor is it about Mr. Rieckhoff's mental gymnastics. It's about your apparent recognition of a difference between casualties whom you think "gave their lives in defense of our country" vs. those who "voluntarily served in bogus wars". We are discussing soldiers/sailors/airmen/marines, correct, and not Blackwater employees?
Perhaps it would be easiest to just answer some questions so I can understand why you hold the views you seem to (or if indeed you do).
What is the difference between a WWII casualty and an Afghanistan (circa 2010) casualty? It would seem from your statement that the former "gave his/her life in defense of our country" whereas the other "voluntarily served in a bogus war". (I make an assumption, of course, that you consider WWII a defense of country; choose whatever conflict that fits the description otherwise.)
If that is accurate, what is the basis for the latter case? In what sense did the dead soldier in Afghanistan volunteer to serve in Afghanistan? Volunteerism implies choice. What choice do you imagine that corpse to have had?
May 28, 2010 5:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
Welcome to your nightmare ... Boidster . . .
Double Medal of Honor recipient General Smedley Butler warned about people like you.
Blind obedience to bad orders invariably lead to unnecessary deaths.
All for the corporate dollar.
Get a grip!
~OGD~
May 29, 2010 1:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
No, but when you volunteer for something in theory you'd at least do the due diligence and try to figure out what you may be called upon to do. I realize that is not exactly likely when someone is 18. But my WWII veteran Dad always said they want them too young and stupid to know what they're getting into.
If you volunteer for an organization that has everything from small arms to nukes you really ought to consider that you are likely to be called upon to kill people and I'm not so sure God is going to give you a free pass because you waved the America flag first.
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January 24, 2011 11:34 PM | Reply | Permalink
I'm sick of hearing about the wounded.
What about all the thousands of wonderful guys
who are fighting this war without any of the credit
or the glory that always goes to those lucky few
who just happen to get shot. Frank Burns
May 28, 2010 1:17 PM | Reply | Permalink
Another M *A*S*H fan? They're airing reruns now and I'm again a devoted fan.
May 28, 2010 1:33 PM | Reply | Permalink
"Oh stuff it ferrot-face" -Margaret Houlihan
May 29, 2010 6:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Like most things in the country connected even loosely to the past, Memorial Day has been politicized to death. On one side are those who demean everything in this country's past as uniquely, infinitely evil, and the other side has those who brainlessly spout patriotism and militant foreign policy (when someone else does the dying). The men and women who die in Iraq, or were killed at Gettysburg or beside your grandfather in the Pacific, sacrificed themselves for everything this country is - including the freedom for most of us to be imbeciles.
May 28, 2010 1:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
Some sacrifice for everything this country claims to be, some sacrifice for nothing and some sacrifice others for nothing. It's wrong to blame the troops for the decisions made in Washington but it's also wrong to treat them like sacred cows unable to take responsibility for what they do.
If you are sitting at some air conditioned console directing drones to kill peasants thousands of miles away and no threat to you don't tell me you are doing it to defend me and please don't ask me to thank you for doing it.
May 28, 2010 7:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have to disagree with you about Obama not going to Arlington this year (he did last year). Arlington has an image as the burial place of the elite. Getting into it is the end-of-life equivalent of getting into Harvard. I think it is entirely appropriate that the President should occasionally celebrate Memorial Day outside the beltway at one of the 117 national cemetaries in the system, including the ones, like the new Abraham Lincoln National Cemetary, that today's "grunts" might actually have a chance of getting into.
May 28, 2010 4:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you for your service, sir. But your comment about the President is ill-thought. The President will be at the Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Illinois on Memorial Day. It is no less a revered spot than Arlington.
After all, it doesn't matter where a vet is buried, does it?
May 28, 2010 4:20 PM | Reply | Permalink
I have plenty of respect for our uniformed citizens. I talk to them at airports, there are a few in my family. None of my immediate family are war dead.
My cousin is a Marine, as was my father. My dad was army, Grandpop was Navy, and father-in-law was army. My uncle was a Marine (with my father, in Vietnam).
My father came home, having conceived me in early 1969, a completely different person than the guy who left. He was an interpreter. His close friend, my uncle, had two children with serious birth defects. My dad lucked out, spent his tour in Panama inventorying safes. He got a girl pregnant, may have married her, and that came back to haunt him long after my brother was born after he married my mother.
Military service, to me, represents loss. Tragic, avoidable loss. Today we have a roster of ongoing conflicts, at least Iraq of them being completely arbitrary and serving of special interests. Vietnam happened because BF Goodrich needed that shipping lane protected so they could get rubber. Korea made sense from a Domino perspective.
Our political leaders are all chickenshit. Nearly none spend any time overseas under fire. That said, it is unlikely that spending time in danger makes you more sane.
I feel the divide too, and I get sad about it.
May 28, 2010 4:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
PS- Korea made sense, and now look at it after the project was abandoned. War will always suffer at the hands of political realities. Hopefully they will become more focused on solutions to problems than on going over there and fucking up a generation over somebody's hair-up-ass.
May 28, 2010 4:24 PM | Reply | Permalink
Spending time in danger makes you more sane is beyond unlikely. Military training prior to service on a battlefield is designed to turn out ready-made killers, people with first-order personality disorders. In most cases the disorder will last for the rest of one's life. A recent statistic showed that there are more returnees from Iraq/Afghanistan in hospital for mental disorders than physical problems.
War has become an American business, perhaps America's biggest business. The people employed to perpetuate it are its true victims. Perhaps we should honor them as we would all sacrificial lambs.
May 29, 2010 12:45 PM | Reply | Permalink
"On Memorial Day, it feels like we are citizens of two different countries."
Bring back the draft, for the good of the republic.
May 28, 2010 4:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Or mandatory service, as in South Korea. Sadly, neither is likely to happen short of a sustained attack on US soil. The rich don't want any of that risky, sacrificey thing.
May 28, 2010 6:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Not just the rich, sadly.
May 29, 2010 11:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
I need to add something, reading more of the comments.
Disobeying orders is always an option, the option first of a citizen.
A soldier in the army of a democracy has to understand that he is a citizen first and a soldier second. A professional army understands that less than an army from the people.
I have more respect for soldiers who refused to serve in Iraq than for those who did. I want all to come back alive, but that hope is not the same thing as full respect. Bring back the draft so that we have more soldiers who understand the weight of their own choice to serve a weight that can not be removed with a superior officer's command.
May 29, 2010 11:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
I really enjoy it when folks make money by stating MY thoughts, MY feelings, and MY beliefs...
It just humbles me to see how mind readers on BOTH sides of the aisle can so easily use THIS VETERAN for their own amusement and goals...
I cannot speak for other veterans, although MY belief is that very few enjoy to be used in this manner...
May 28, 2010 5:00 PM | Reply | Permalink
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When we buried my grandmother, her grave had little meaning for me. Now, 4 more family members have been added beside her and it was only with that last grave, the grave of my father and the frequent trips to take my elderly mother to visit them, that the cemetary and those gravestones have taken on genuine memory for me.
We'll be there this weekend. My Dad was a WWII vet so there will be a flag on his grave, but there will be 4 graves beside him without flags and the others will be remembered just as fondly.
I would be happy if Memorial Day returned to being a more universal day to remember all of those we love who have died. I don't know why we must segregate the dead and judge whose life and sacrifice was more worthy.
May 28, 2010 7:25 PM | Reply | Permalink
Mr. Rieckhoff notes:
"Men like my grandfather served and sacrificed so that we could live today in a world of freedom and relative safety."
This is true, if simplified. There is no getting around the reality, however, that the same cannot, and SHOULD not, be said of those who have died in Iraq since 2003. It is not respectful of THEIR undeniably genuine sacrifice to pretend that it was not the result of a huge and unforgivable mistake. It MIGHT indeed have been necessary, after the UN weapons inspectors completed their mission in 2003, and after genuine evidence of compelling immediate threat were presented, to risk American lives deposing Saddam Hussein. That more honorable and sensible alternative (probably also far less costly, although that would be harder to calculate for this hypothetical) was NOT the path chosen, however, and indeed probably not one in a hundred Americans have even a clue that this other approach was proposed by Canada, and essentially incorporated already in alternate authorization resolution that failed in Congress.
There were, and still are, good reasons for the volunteer army system America has. But there are also costs. One of them is the "two countries" divergence highlighted by Mr. Rieckhoff (and by the way, fellow Americans, prepare for the growing dimension of "two countries" due to increasing numbers foreigners being hired by the US military). Another, and already far greater, cost is that outsourcing national defense this way also facilitated the myopic, deceit-based cock-up of the Cheney-Rumsfeld-Wolfowitz "cake-walk" to Baghdad of 2003-to-date.
May 28, 2010 8:36 PM | Reply | Permalink
Can we please just drop the ridiculous meme that people who sign up to kill others in the name of US imperialism are somehow heroes to the rest of us?
The entire US military-industrial complex has morphed into a cancer on the planet. It's basically a make-work program for southerners and wingnut children.
Volunteering for the military is just a sign you are too stupid to see through the inculturated rah-rah. Hollywood pushed your buttons, and you bought into the Rambo=Hero bullshit.
Fuck the military. There hasn't been a US military adventure in 60 years that was worth the money spent or the lives lost.
That's why there is a divide. Memorial Day is for Republicans and militarists.
What if they had an army, but no Rambo wannabees signed up?
May 29, 2010 12:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
As others have noted, the number of erstwhile Rambo recruits has dwindled in the United States to the point where currently in Iraq and Afghanistan we have more hired-gun mercenaries and corporate camp followers deployed than "volunteer" uniformed servicemen. In other words, today we simply "subcontract" our national defense to not just lower-class domestic menials ("vendors" of their own lives and labor), but foreign adventurers, as well. Furthermore, some of these mercenaries have lost their lives for their impressive paychecks and company profits -- not to mention America's "defense." Why do we not mourn -- or at least count -- them?
In light of the above, I would ask Mr Rieckhoff if he suggests that we allocate some of our Memorial Day meditations towards "honoring" the "sacrifices" of our mercenary Hessians and corporate whores as well? Again, some of these people have died or suffered wounds in "service" to the same "defense" as have our relatively underpaid uniformed troops, haven't they? So why does Mr Rieckhoff's article speak of only two nations instead of three?
If Mr Rieckhoff knew a thing or two about world history, he would recall what happened when Rambo Romans stopped joining the legions (too many years of deployments far from home) leading Rome to "sub-contract" defense of the Empire to foreign mercenaries. The time came when those whom the Romans had hired to defend them one day saw that they outnumbered their Roman employers and so descended upon the defenseless Roman capital to sack the place. A millennium of dark age and medieval feudalism ensued. How about remembering that on Memorial Day?
Americans have already "voted with their feet" to get as far from penurious indentured military servitude as they possibly can. Their commander- in-brief told them to "go shopping" and "buy a plane ticket to Disney World" as their patriotic part in the global War on Terra. Maximum Leader told them to leave the brief, costless fighting to the "professionals" -- and so the people did. For their part, the uniformed "professionals" told the American people to just butt out and leave "war" to those who claimed to understand it (but keep up the funding, thank you). But now a former uniformed professional feels unappreciated because the American public did as the professionals demanded. Unwanted at the take off, few feel compelled to participate in the crash landing, so to speak. The "professionals" can now reap what they've sown: Dick Cheney's sneering dismissal: "They volunteered, didn't they?"
Now that almost a decade of needless, pointless quagmire has predictably ensued, the "professionals" keep offering only more annual excuses for why they can't ever FINISH anything -- as if they even want to. As the career lifers back in Southeast Asian days used to sardonically chant: "Don't knock the war, it's the only one we've got!" And Mr Rieckhoff wants us to "honor" this ticket-punching, fuck-up-and-move-up careerism? Sure, I feel sympathy for the enlisted men who take most of the casualties, but the corrupt and incompetent American officer corps needs a thorough purging from top to bottom. They never met a sprint that they couldn't turn into a gravy-train marathon, or "long war" as they like to call it.
As a victim/veteran of the Nixon-Kissinger Fig Leaf Contingent (Vietnam 1970-72) I remember my fellow Vietnam Veterans every day. We had choices, too: (1) conscription, (2) prison, (3) exile, or (4) enlistment. But, more importantly, I remember those who threatened us and lied to us and abused the often misguided trust that some of us foolishly placed in national leaders (civilian and military) unworthy of anything but contempt. Still, the privileged perpetrators of perfidy, both civilian and high-ranking military, remain the only ones truly honored and rewarded in American life. Personally, I make it a point to remember that every Memorial Day.
May 30, 2010 7:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Thank you, Mr. Rieckhoff, for your service to our country.
May 29, 2010 3:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
I too thank you for your service to our country.
However, it's a little disingenuous when you ask us to "take a moment." You know you're not satisfied with that.
Whenever veterans see their fellow citizens heading to the mall or the beach during Memorial Day, do they ever think, "Well, I bet they 'took a moment' earlier today," or "Well, I bet they're flying the flag at their homes" -- ?
No, you know what you think about those civilians. You judge them for not being you.
Memorial Day is a day we remember the war dead and their sacrifices. I will do so. But if people spend some time that day doing something you don't approve of, think about what you assume about them and how you really deal with it.
May 29, 2010 1:37 PM | Reply | Permalink
The 5,454 men and women did not "give their lives" in Iraq and Afghanistan for our "defense." They were slaughtered to make Dick Cheney & Haliburton a quick buck. They were sent into those meat grinders based upon lies and deception.
The people who sent them into those meat grinders were illegally installed into office. The military instructed and brainwashed hundreds of thousands of meatbots to cast their votes in blind hatred to put those perversions into the White House.
And then you go on to slam and slander the legally elected President of the United States. You go on to preach your disrespect for the Commander in Chief of our country and armed forces from the sanctimoniousness of the uniform you pollute.
You use this weekend, this time set aside for the people of our country to come together ... you use this time and opportunity to spit your hatred and disrespect out in the face of your fellow citizens, to create division where there is none, other than your own self-pitying fantasy world.
Fuck you. You are a fucking disgrace to your uniform.
May 30, 2010 3:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
I hardly think there are any vets in heaven (or wherever), looking down on us and passing judgment because we didn’t do enough memorializing of their sacrifice. Quite contrarily, I think the men and women who died in service of our country would want us to be at the beach, barbecuing in the back yard, or even sitting on our asses watching a Twilight Zone marathon on T.V. You know – enjoying the freedom many of them helped protect.
Yes, veterans who died in service of our country should be memorialized but, for the citizens for whom they served, Memorial Day should be personal. You alluded to that quite nicely in your article. For you to go on to disparage beachgoers and mattress-buyers is a bit contradictory, and pretty presumptuous. How people spend their Memorial Day is their business. For you to assume they don’t think of and appreciate the service of the fallen is pretty ballsy.
And your politicization of Memorial Day in the fourth paragraph of your piece is offensive. In case you didn’t know, Obama’s not the first to miss a ceremony at Arlington. I hope you voiced outrage at these guys’ absence:
- Ronald Reagan
- George H.W. Bush
- George W. Bush
While I won’t spend today in mourning or visiting gravesites, I will think of our fallen veterans, just as I do every year. But how I do it is personal.
Actually, today I’ll be returning a lawn mower to Home Depot with my girlfriend. Does that mean we’re unpatriotic? Does that negate my 21 years of service in the Coast Guard, and her 20 years of service in the Air Force? Do we need to do some penance to make up for not being patrioty enough?
Mr. Rieckhoff: you do the day and yourself a disservice by making wholesale assumptions and condescending judgments about your fellow citizens. Further, your politicization of the day is sad.
Your article fosters both divisiveness and political polarity on a day that should bring us together, and that’s irresponsible in today’s sociopolitical climate.
CG
P.S.
The next time you write a piece on Memorial Day, try to stay on topic. You zigzag between personal attacks, political barbs, and material you should’ve saved for Veterans Day (last paragraph).
May 31, 2010 8:57 AM | Reply | Permalink
What’s striking here isn’t so much the call for a “solemn day of remembrance” just before reducing it to yet another opportunity for a double-standard attack against the President, but that Mr. Rieckoff appears to do so without a hint of irony. Admittedly, I hadn’t put much thought into where presidents ought to spend Memorial Day, nor was I offended when they’ve chosen to honor our fallen from Crawford, Texas or Kennebunkport, Maine. On a day that is as personal for many of us as it is universal, the national cemetery in one’s own home town doesn’t seem to be a bad place from which to reflect on the true cost of war.
Perhaps it’s not where he remembers, but what he remembers that should concern us. I’d like to think the he remembers that in thousands of hometowns, as beloved as his own, and for families, as adored as his own, that dreams, just as precious as his own, are being shattered by war. At the national cemetery named for Abraham Lincoln I hope he remembered that all of our soldiers are heroes for a great cause because they continually answer with resolve and faith in our system. In Basra, in Kabul, Seoul, Saigon or Normandy or Antietam and a thousand others it was not theirs to question, but to serve. They did, do, and the debt they’re owed is immeasurable. I hope the President remembers never to link their heroism to his decisions (or those of his predecessors) and that it cannot possibly be “incompatible” to question the mission while supporting our troops. That, is our duty and the very least we can do.
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It's not all about vacation.This is a great day that some people use to drive fund raisers.Take the Royal Caribbean Cruises for example.In 2009 they had the goal to raise $25000.I don't know if they achieved that,but still is a start.
April 6, 2011 12:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
I was just browsing the Luton airport parking website when I found your article here. Of course the holidays are something that many people enjoy because they can have a nice short weekend vacation or maybe even have a nice yard barbecue as you say here. The point is that a holiday is a relaxation day and I don't know that many people who don't need some R&R.
April 15, 2011 9:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Please know that you are prayed for every day. We are currently prepping soldiers and families of the 345th MI BA to head your way. A great group of folks. My spouse is the CDR and I the honored FRG leader. It is our privilege to ser...ve stateside to help the Soldiers and their Families. I hope your Family is being contacted. If not, please let me know and we will adopt them. Be safe and keep your head down. Godspeed. payday loans
April 16, 2011 9:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
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April 21, 2011 7:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
I have one suggestion for Americans that like to travel: the rockwood travel trailer. Who knows, maybe when you retire soon, you will actually want to travel from place to place and have lots of fun.
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April 25, 2011 4:54 AM | Reply | Permalink
The young people died because old folks' policies. R.I.P to all people who died in wars.
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Maybe they should try going some place else where they never been to.For example I found a sweet deal at the dead sea hotels israel and I am planning to go there as soon as possible.There are many places where people can go and have a great time.
May 3, 2011 12:14 PM | Reply | Permalink
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May 3, 2011 3:28 PM | Reply | Permalink
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May 6, 2011 4:28 AM | Reply | Permalink