Women As The Goalies
It occurred to me that calling women in the traditional view the 'gate-keepers' of sex (as has been pointed out in comments here) probably evokes in most minds the view of someone opening a garden gate, under a pergola of red roses. But the gate in that image should really be replaced by the goal in a soccer or ice-hockey game and the woman with the keeper of that goal, if we are to understand the traditional game of sex properly.
This is the context in which women are asked to keep the gates closed or to open them, and this is the context which may show what is wrong with the current competing views of sex, men and women. On the one hand we have the purity myth. On the other we have the popular culture which judges young women almost completely on their sexual attractiveness and which offers young men almost nothing but encouragement for the game of sex. Go for the goal!
What makes the game especially difficult for the women is that they are sexual creatures themselves. Indeed, they might not want to play this particular game in the first place, because it is a rigged game and because it takes a lot of time and energy to play. That time and energy would be better used elsewhere in life and on other ethical concerns.
So what do you propose?
Remove the goal? Or the goalie?
April 9, 2009 5:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
remove your infantile reasoning, expat
April 10, 2009 12:50 PM | Reply | Permalink
Change the game. To tennis, perhaps.
April 9, 2009 8:54 PM | Reply | Permalink
To a game were love equals nothing?
April 9, 2009 11:04 PM | Reply | Permalink
you really have intelligent nothing to say on the subject, do you?
I suppose that would entail thinking, though, which at least explains your abject and convenient misanthropic superficiality.
April 10, 2009 12:51 PM | Reply | Permalink
I think a game like Rock Band is actually pretty close to what sex is like. It's collaborative, not combative, with the goal being to do your best, help your partner out, and above all, have fun.
April 10, 2009 1:11 PM | Reply | Permalink
In all this discussion, what has not been mentioned is that the sexual mores have been developed in response to one simple fact:
Women always know that they are one of the parents of their child and there is no doubt that 50% of that child's genetic code comes from them. Men do not have that knowledge unless they are positive that they have been the only partner of the mother.
In a patriarchial society, it becomes supremely important, for purposes of inheritance, to develop a harem or some similar institution (taboos) whereby women's sexual activities are strictly comtrolled.
In matriarchial societies, where inheritance is through the mother, this problem just doesn't exist. Therefore, women in these societies are much more free to pursue and satisfy their God given sexual desires.
.
April 10, 2009 9:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
Your entire analogy only works if men are the only ones trying to score a point. Some call this "a game with only one goal". This is obviously false. It implies the opposite never occurs, that women can't be on the offensive, and that they have absolutely no choice. This is nonsense, and only hurts your cause I'm afraid, as it paints all women as meek and discounts the idea of strong willed women.
April 10, 2009 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
What rubbish. You describe a world in which women don't compete with each other over men. That's why they become the default goalkeepers. The chosen mate must fulfill a specific socio-economic status for many women.
It's a game and it's tragic. It's also why 80% of the women I've dated; my wife included, were the ones to ask me out the first time.
April 10, 2009 2:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
i.e.; I wanted no part of the game.
April 10, 2009 2:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
For maven81 and Victor Shaw, note that I'm writing about the traditional 'game' of sex, not about what people actually do. If you read any of the abstinence blogs you will find these kinds of ideas lurking when people talk about gate-keeping.
April 10, 2009 3:01 PM | Reply | Permalink
ts here) probably evokes in most minds the view of someone opening a garden gate, under a pergola of red roses. But the gate in that image should really be replaced by the goal in a soccer or ice-hockey game and the woman with the keeper of that
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