Tough Leaders for Tough Times
From the files of fawning and jawdroppingly clueless profiles of GOP presidential candidates, courtesy of the Boston Globe. The following is an account of a car trip the Giulianis took in the summer of 1999:
Before beginning the drive, Rudy Giuliani put Judith Nathan, a woman he had met earlier that year, in a “special friend” carrier and attached it to the side of the family car. He'd built a windshield for the carrier, to make the ride more comfortable for Ms. Nathan.Then Giuliani put his family, wife Donna Hanover and children Andrew and Caroline, on notice: He would be making stops to arrest squeegie men and jaywalkers, and that was it.
The ride was largely what you'd expect, until Ms. Nathan was suddenly attacked by a pair of ferrets.
As the rest of the family joined in the howls of horror, Giuliani coolly pulled off the highway and into a Firearms R Us. There, he purchased a gun, shot each of the ferrets 41 times, then hopped back onto the highway. It was a tiny preview of a trait he would grow famous for: decisive crisis management.“Those ferrets were no altar boys,” he remarked.
Political analyst and freelance masculinity consultant Howard Fineman reflected on the episode years later. "I always knew Rudy looked like a guy who, if he had had the opportunity to grow up as a ferret hunter, would have been a great one. He just gives off the aura of a guy who wouldn’t be afraid to use a gun on a pair of ferrets, you know? That‘s just—and that‘s the record that he established on that one car trip.”
Is it just me, or is there a weird narrative developing lately about Republican presidential candidates and their relation to animals? One wonders how Tom Tancredo feels about mice.
People For the Ethical Treatment of Ex-Wives president Ingrig Scmingrid commented: "It's illegal and immoral to transport an ex-wife in either the open bed of a pick-up truck or on the roof of a car. Mr. Giuliani should be ashamed. Ex-wives should be strapped properly into a carseat. Ex wives have rights too!"
thosethingswesay.blogspot.com
June 28, 2007 7:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
Call me confused; the Globe story starts off talking about the Romneys, requiring registration to go further, so that link isn't helpful. The sound clip didn't load for me. And where is the reference in the very long MSNBC transcript?
Is this for real?
June 28, 2007 8:00 AM | Reply | Permalink
And, like all GOP candidates, Rudy has great shoulders and smells like Aqua Velva.
"Thank God George Bush is our president." -Rudy Giuliani
June 28, 2007 8:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Tom, see here for context on Romney. He's an ass.
And the MP3 thing is from when Rudy was mayor, and was on a radio talk show here in nyc, and went off on a caller about ferrets.
June 28, 2007 8:06 AM | Reply | Permalink
In reverse order: (1) no. (2) Just do a search for the word "hunter" in the transcript -- it'll take you immediately to Fineman's comment. (3) Sorry about the sound clip! It's really worth it. And (4) you don't need to go any further in the Globe story -- my post here is simply a rewrite and cleanup (so to speak) of paragraphs six through ten of the Globe's bizarrely gushing account of the Romneys' 1983 vacation trip.
Hey, I know my sense of humor isn't everyone's cup of coffee. But the Romney story is very very weird, as is Giuliani himself, and I do think it's worth pointing out how our nation's "political" "reporters" are not merely normalizing the very-very-weirdness of major GOP candidates but actually heroizing it.
June 28, 2007 8:23 AM | Reply | Permalink
I always thought of him as having more of a musky, Victor Mature-like scent.
June 28, 2007 9:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
Getting the picture, but isn't it tautology to combine "weird" with "Romney"?
June 28, 2007 9:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hey, I know my sense of humor isn't everyone's cup of coffee.
I laughed, I cried, I'll buy the book!
June 28, 2007 9:55 AM | Reply | Permalink
Nobody could have anticipated that al Qaeda would fly ferrets into buildings.
June 28, 2007 9:55 AM | Reply | Permalink
No one anticipated the breach of the "special friend" carrier, either.
June 28, 2007 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Either we fight the ferrets in their caves, or we fight them in the street of New York! Rudy is taking the fight TO the ferrets - he doesn't have a pre-911 out-of-his-f#cking-mind-set!
Rudy Guliani was mayor of New York on 9-11
DON"T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!
Randy
June 28, 2007 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
LOL that's great stuff Michael.
June 28, 2007 10:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
Ah, the "ferretpaper" theory. Good call, Randy!
June 28, 2007 10:04 AM | Reply | Permalink
Got the ferret audio file to work by "save target as" from Willis' page.
Rudy seems likely to direct people to seek help for obsessions like employment and health coverage.
June 28, 2007 10:29 AM | Reply | Permalink
Gosh, I didn't think I was humorless, but once again Michael's post went totally over my head, other than that I knew the blockquote couldn't really have happened. I guess I should have clicked on the links.
John
http://www.haberarts.com/
June 28, 2007 11:22 AM | Reply | Permalink
From the annals of Presidential dog torture:
http://www.lbjlib.utexas.edu/johnson/archives.hom/FAQs/dog/JPEG/C311-7-64.jpg
June 28, 2007 11:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
I agree. I am sure that the mayor of New York City did not add an outrider to his car while preparing to take a car trip. I'm sure the passangers were not attacked by ferrets while driving through the city.
I am sure that no one fired 41 times into two small animals.
Then what is this about?
Like you, John, I am clueless. Clicking on the links only produced a converstion in which the Mayor of New York refused to listen to an animal-rights advocate, and claimed he, the animal-rights advocate, was mentally ill for having concern for the humanity with which animals are treated -- in this case. for expecting state law to govern his behavior.
Mr Berubé has a rich interior life. That's what we can conclude from this.
June 28, 2007 12:22 PM | Reply | Permalink
Am I the only one here wondering what the HELL a
is?
June 28, 2007 1:58 PM | Reply | Permalink
Having been educated on the intent, I checked out the story on Romney, who had arranged for the family dog to ride on the roof during their family vacation trip. This occasioned a gross-out when said dog decorated the rear window.
June 28, 2007 2:57 PM | Reply | Permalink
Yep, you definitely gotta click on the links to get this one. This ain't some kinda print publication, you know!
And mmeo, clicking on the very first link will lead you to the Boston Globe profile of Romney. What does that have to do with Giuliani? Check out the second half of the second sentence of the second paragraph of this comment above for the surprising answer!
June 28, 2007 4:42 PM | Reply | Permalink
Welcome back, Michael ... we love hearing from you.
June 28, 2007 6:47 PM | Reply | Permalink
Being familiar with the source material, this had me in stitches. Great post, Michael.
June 29, 2007 8:47 AM | Reply | Permalink
sully18
What did the ferrets do while Rudy was in the store buying the 92 shot automatic?
June 29, 2007 10:53 AM | Reply | Permalink
Pay attention damnit! They were attacking the dog on the roof. Why else would Paris Hilton go to jail?
June 29, 2007 9:39 PM | Reply | Permalink
This was priceless!
And thanks for the link to that transcript. Howard Fineman is getting weirder and weirder each day. They're all obsessed with "auras", aftershave, and looks of the Republican candidates.
July 1, 2007 10:31 AM | Reply | Permalink
I gave you a 5 for a good try, but there's one problem with your joke: Rudy's got a wimp's shoulders, he doesn't even always stand up straight like his mom told him to. I always visualized him as a teen having gotten sand kicked in his face at Coney Island. Nosiree, this is not Ronnie the Aqua Velva man, he's a sickly, pasty Noo Yawker.
July 1, 2007 11:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
Michael, don't get discouraged; please keep on keeping on, some of us enjoy it. This site desperately needs amelioration of earnestness in extremis, not to mention political commentary that presumes the reader has already taken the survey course or at least knows how to use google to self-teach.
Must say, though, that my lol favorite on this whole theme is this comment by "barrelhse" on the end of the Romney thread.
July 1, 2007 12:05 PM | Reply | Permalink
I pray in Jesus' name that this Easter you discover that you can trust God's word, the bible as true. I pray that God bring you into a good bible teaching church, in fellowship with others, and that you can grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
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July 11, 2010 12:05 AM | Reply | Permalink