"Hair-Trigger Dick" came to my mind . . .

One more - great headline from "Capitol Hill Blue": Guns Don't Shoot People, Vice Presidents Shoot People."

 I've always wondered if the VP had ever shot anyone before - being a hawkish draft-avoider and all.  Do you think anyone will have the cojones to ask him at his mea culpa press address?

Actually, the phrase that sprang to my mind was "coronary patient with inadequate blood flow to the brain."

Alphonse ( Al ) Kada

Every report I have seen today states "accidental" in front of this story.  

How do they know?

For all you non-hunting liberals (like Kerry) out there, one of the cardinal rules of safe hunting is never to shoot when you aren't aware of your surroundings and the location of your fellow hunters.  The reports I've read so far indicate that this old man was behind the VP and another hunter, walked up behind them and didn't announce his presence.

The VP, with a bead on a quail, spun around as it flew over him and fired without seeing this elderly lawyer.

Now as everybody knows, a quail is one of those really big, meaty animals that are prized by self-sufficient pioneers like Cheney as a good way to put meat on the table for his family.

Err, check that, a quail is a small bird about the size of a sewer eagle that holds little, if any, meat for even one person after beign blown apart by a twelve gauge.  Even less tasty than "free-range" if it was on a farm that was specifically raising soybeans and other crops that attract quail.  If it was, say, one of those farms that was being paid a subsidy to turn under it's soybeans rather than putting them on the market as a way of price support to corporate family farms.  What a great income stream- government checks in the springtime and "seasoned" hunters in the winter. 

But what we know is someone got shot.  At a place where all concerned would echo the NRA guidlines on safe hunting in any photo op sound bite.

What should be asked is what would be asked if this were "Joseph F. Sixpack" on reporting a hunting accident:

Was this really an "accident"? 

Who was this man and what was his relationship to the shooter?

Did alcohol have anything to do with this "accident"

Then let us judge for ourselves. 

Al Kada 

This screams out "Darwin Awards!"

I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney.
I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney.

All around in my home town
They're trying to track me down.
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a attorney,
For the life of a attorney.
But I say:

I shot the lawyer, but I swear it was in self-defense.
I shot the lawyer, and they say it is a capital offense.

Lawyer H. Wittington always hated me;
For what I don't know.
Every time that I plant a seed
He said, "Kill it before it grows."
He said, "Kill it before it grows."
I say:

I shot the lawyer, but I swear it was in self-defense.
I shot the lawyer, but I swear it was in self-defense.

Freedom came my way one day
And I started out of town.
All of a sudden I see lawyer H. Wittington
Aiming to shoot me down.
So I shot, I shot him down.
I say:

I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney.
I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney.

Reflexes got the better of me
And what is to be must be.
Every day the bucket goes to the well,
But one day the bottom will drop out,
Yes, one day the bottom will drop out.
But I say:

I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney, oh no.
I shot the lawyer, but I did not shoot the attorney, oh no.

If its good for me it must be Good 4 A Merica

Wasn't it Democrats who couldn't be trusted with security?

It seems as if the mantra of this administration is "Shoot first. Dodge questions later."

I also find myself thinking that maybe those duck-hunting trips with Scalia aren't so problematic after all.

True, we don't have Fox et al., but we do share other secret weapons with the Piranha Brothers: "...sarcasm....dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and...satire."

Dick Cheney: Solving the Medicare crisis, one senior citizen at a time.

Maybe we oughta be glad he dodged Vietnam.  The last thing a soldier wants when he's crossing a rice paddy is to have "Hair-Trigger Dick" Cheney behind him with an automatic weapon.

Hell, it scares me just to see him impersonating Truman Capote playing cowboy in a boat. 

Say....this is in Ronnie Earle's district, isn't it? 

Their new motto:

We shoot our voters first over here cuz we're tired of getiing shot first over there.
This thread is hysterical. I think Dems finally have a shot at national security.

Chickenhawk 5-deferment-Cheney gets his first kill.

Now he's been in the shit.

Private Joker'd be proud. 

Dissent Protects Democracy

The bag limit on lawyers in Texas is 5, but you can take 10 if you get a "Varmit Stamp".

J. McCutchen "JmacSF"

San Francisco. CA

Hunting Accidents - Juan Cole

Wouldn't it be safer for the Vice President to head down to the local animal shelter, pick out the strays who need to be put to sleep, and stomp on their heads?  After all, it's hard to see how that would be any less sporting than shooting 417 of 500 crate-raised pheasants who have never been outside of a cage.

This way, nobody gets shot and nobody has to spend thousands of dollars raising birds.  All he'll need are some solid work boots.

As is now being disussed shooter rules place responsibility on the shooter. Wheeling 180 and shooting is never going to satisfy the clear-downrange rule. Even more stupid was shooting low. If you're bird hunting and shoot upwards you can't hurt anyone. Even with no choke on the spread pattern how does Cheney hit someone who isn't levitating?

Good thing Cheney was never in the Army, for the sake of his fellow soldiers. 

"Did alcohol have anything to do with this 'accident'?"  A good question that the Secret Service undoubtedly helped keep secret.

I guess if you are the VP, you don't have to run over your lawyer, you can just point a gun and shoot.  By next week, expect a lot of great lawyer jokes.
 

If its good for me it must be Good 4 A Merica

Some immature fun: 

The lyrics are a few years old, but this song, performed to the tune of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun", is playing today on a number of good-ol-boy radio stations.

My favorite right-wing cultural barometer is my office mate, Chris, who's kind of a good ol boy himself.  He tells me that the reaction among his sources today to the Cheney hunting "accident" is overwhelmingly one of ridicule -- any chance Cheney has of ascending to the throne in 2008, given his heart conditions, his general reputation as a hairtrigger and a buffoon, etc., seem to be evaporating.  Remember, you heard it here first ;)

Cheney's Got A Gun
 

Cheney's got a gun, Cheney's got a gun
The whole world's on the run
Great news for Halliburton
What did poor Iraq do?
What is it going thru?
They say He turned the biddings over, and Halliburton's going insane!
The other oil-filled nations, see that Cheney's got a gun and
they ain't never gonna be the same!

Cheney's got a gun, Cheney's got a gun
Libya's nose has run
Bin Laden's having too much fun!
Americans feels so renewed
It's safe to travel and buy shoes!
The price others have to pay-pay
So George is elected again!
Iran has got it comin' while Libya's balls are hanging and
Gaddafi hides his head in shame!

Run Away, 'Cos His daughter's so GAY yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away run away from the pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Run away, run away, run, run awaaaaay

Cheney's Got a Gun, Cheney's Got a Gun
Your dog day's just begun
Screw all your possessions
What did Bushes daddy do?
Damned us all to get screwed!
He jacked Iraq up with them weapons, Saddam was his Bestest Friend!
Now his son pretends that's hogwash, Saddam is such a threat and
We're all in for a lotta pain!

Cheney's Got a Gun
Cheney's Got a Gun
Cheney's Got a Gun
Everybody's on the Run

There's always this trusty old favorite from Tom Lehrer.

 The Hunting Song
 

I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day!
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say "There's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow.

Well, Burr did kill Alexander Hamilton.

Tom

I hear there is a new commercial out to follow up on the one about the two squirrels that cause the automobile accident. This new one features two quails.

I disagree with your statement:

This screams out "Darwin Awards"

It would, perhaps be a somewhat better Darwin Award if

a)  Cheney had been the one shot rather than the shooter, and

b)  The wound had been fatal

c)   And lastly, if it had occurred when Dick had one of his many deferments from a REAL shooting war, (he only likes to shoot at little birdies who can't shoot back, after all) and therefore before he had any children

Darwin awards are  tongue-in-cheek prizes given posthumously to those who were so stupid that they died before they could pass on their genes. 

Jan Knaus

 Take a look at the guy on the ten-dollar bill.  Looks pretty young and handsome, doesn't he?

...and your point is....

Jan Knaus

The best place to look for Dan would be the next RNC Convention. God, think of those beautiful targets.

Right now he should be buying a bullet proof vest. He has been off the radar hasn't he?

Alphonse ( Al ) Kada

 "hunters are more likely to be Republican and conservative than non-hunters, but not nearly to the extent implied by the crack."

 "Adding the "(like Kerry)" made the implications rather more pointed and is specifically, factually, incorrect since Kerry is, as I noted, a hunter."

You'rs making an awful lot of assumptions without anything but bias to back them up. 

Tanj, when you strap on the helmet of the "politically correct police", you make several presumptions:

I must be a wingnut troll, or

I'm just someone who's not bright enough to understand your notion of what's correct and appropriate, and you need to school a proper response so I can be a good little liberal.

You see, if you really are a liberal (as I am), you would be decrying the notion that what either fiver-deferment Dick OR Kerry did could be classified as "hunting".  Shooting pen-raised quail is not hunting.  It's just animal cruelty.  Neither Cheney's "drive-by" of a covey of quail, nor Kerry's photo op constitute anything close to "sportsman-like conduct". So you keep on defending those things for whatever reason you wish.

By the way, if the news system unrakes the muck on Chaney's latest victim, we wont have to speculate, or are you standing up for Cheney's honor now also? 

Or is it just the Al Kada that offends? 

OK, I've got another one:

<joke disclaimer>

Its seems that Sen. Patrick Leahy wasn't very surprised by the news that VP Cheney had shot a hunting companion:

"What's the big deal?" Leahy asked. "He's always shooting off his own mouth..."

-Dave Adams-

Okay, at the risk of insulting the sensibilities of some, I spent half my life on a farm doing everything associated with farm life. Grew up hunting pheasants, quail, dove, etc. We did a little on-farm butchering now and then, as well. The shot gun became my choice for dispatching critters. It just increased the odds of a quick death . . . Even a 28 gauge shotgun as Cheney was supposedly using is plenty deadly. Number 7 1/2 bird shot is small but the force behind the shot is tremendous. At five yards, it will crush the bones in a bovine skull . . . If this shooting victim was thirty yards away, he can count himself lucky. There’s no question that a bird will be killed at that distance and farther. I’m not sure about penetration through clothing but I’d imagine that it is significant. (I’m wondering about the poor guy’s lungs.) . . . Damn careless, is the way I see it. Steve in (the other) Washington