I think "Privateers" is a lovely word in need of reviving. Applicable to all good folk who work towards relieving us of the public treasury.

Symbiants.

.

How about Markup Manager? Or Legislative Advocate? Or Congressional Staff Out-Sourcing Consultant?

Legislatorial Determinater!

Think like a government employee:  "Budgetary Benefit Facilitator"

Not all lobbyists are unprincipled moneygrubbers looking to write or influence legislation that will make it easier for specific special interests to cheat people out of their hard-earned money or otherwise behave unethically  At least I hope not.  But enough of them are that I would suggest we call them "Johns."   I say that because Republicans have gained control of K Street and, in the interest of fundraising to build a permanent Republican majority, they have been like an unfaithful wife (unfaithful to the American people) who sells her services (prostitutes herself) to the highest bidders.  And lobbyists are the ones arranging the purchase of those services.

deputy director of intelligence at homeland security

Bagmen does the trick. It's succinct and accurately descriptive.

Trixie Stiffers.

Your father is a trixie stiffer, dear. He helps poison other peoples' babies and make sure no one can find out why it happens while we get to use solid gold toilet paper! 

   Law Brökers -- you can pronounce it either breakers or brokers!

How about "illegal". As in lobbying by paid operatives is "illegal". Only citizens acting on their own behalf should be able to deal with their representatives.

I realize this runs into first amendment issues, but only because corporations are treated like people in the eyes of the law. Getting rid of that is the first step to reform.

Corporations are not people and shouldn't have the same "rights". Especially as commercial speech is not speech. If it were the same we wouldn't have restrictions on truth in advertising and the release of corporate earnings information.

So the law recognizes that there are limits to what corporations can "say", just not to politicians, apparently.

Nothing will change until the money is taken out of running for office. We need public financing and/or free TV air time for candidates. 

Obviously a bunch of liberals, eat more Freedom Fries you tartuffels!

Democracy Enablers

Freedom Underwriters

Good Souls (if they give to Republicans) 

Quid Pro Quarterback
props out to the author Bribesmade...that's genius.

Bribemeister?

Protectors of Childen and Mothers?

Former Republican Congressman.

<a href="http://www.house.gov/hastert/">Speaker</a&g
t; Motivationalists.

How about no replacement at all, just a proliferation of euphemistic names for various lobbying firms.

So every lobbyist, would instead be a "member" of:

Americans for National Security

Americans for a Responsible Budget

Americans for Healthy Lives

Americans for an Engaged Citizenry

Of course, you can guess what the lobbyists and their backers would be advancing (intentionally or not) by these fictitious names (I'm assuming none have already been taken):  the opposite.  Just kidding... kind of.

Plus, it's hard to sully the term "member" as everyone's a member of some group, but few people are lobbyists (or whatever replacement term you may fathom.) 

Baloney Sandwich Artists

Brumidiots, after the tile floors in the Senate hallways

Badvocates

Desperate Fishwives--although that gives a bad name to fishwives

Goodfellas, anyway

Thug prostitutes.

Private Interest Enablers  ("PIE")

oh, how about that other name they already have,

LIARS 

maybe they should simply be called "Republicans"

that's possibly too harsh.

how about palm grease monkeys

K-Street Walker sums it up.

Promotion Executives.

Hey, that's what the music biz calls their bagmen.

FOREIGNID: 86469
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FOREIGNCOMMENTERID: 12230
AUTHOR: Jim from Roswell
DATE: 01/24/2006 06:10:19 PM

Legislation Out Source Specialist - LOSS

Taurine Stool Waxers

Black Jack Snake Oil Salesman

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FOREIGNCOMMENTERID: 12365
AUTHOR: maccoffee
DATE: 01/24/2006 06:26:48 PM

Policy pimps.

Policy point person.

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FOREIGNCOMMENTERID: 5421
AUTHOR: porsillo
DATE: 01/24/2006 06:45:52 PM

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AUTHOR: sdanielles
DATE: 01/24/2006 07:09:49 PM

Pork Pimp

Ned Beattys

I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee! 

Buck Buddy

. . . on second thought "alcoholics" usually is a pretty good fit.

I agree.  I was thinking of this exact analogy except that the lobbyists are more the pimps or Madames, if you will, setting up the action between the Johns (corporations) looking to get off (in one way or another) and the Prostitutes (the congresspersons or staffers) who are willing to get fu give a little to get a lot of money (and power that goes with it) in exchange. 

I also agree that not all lobbyists operate shamefully.  Lets not forget that not every non-profit organization is a shell or laundering agency.   

Why not:

 Professional Political Petitioners

 Prostitute Political Petitioners

 Petitioning Political Prostitutes

 Lipstick on a Pig?

undertakers of sound policy for the republic

Crack Cleaning Smegma Specialist ?

"Law Brokers". Lol.

Convicts-in-waiting

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AUTHOR: goraidh
DATE: 01/25/2006 08:16:05 AM

The problem isn't the name, it's the behavior, which as someone else pointed out, is more accurately pimp. Lobbyists represent legitimate positions of their constituents, and their proper role is to educate legislators, NOT to pay for elections. The entire process is perverted and corrupted under the present rules. Very nearly ALL of our senators and house members think lobbyists are the cookie jar. The change we need isn't language, it's Clean Elections, public financing of campaigns. Any other solution is just putting lipstick on the pig.

Let me make it perfectly clear: I have no problem with a lobbyist talking with my elected representatives; what bothers me is when said lobbyist hands over a check, or organizes a fundraiser. The congressman listens because that's his job, to make informed decisions; not because he's getting a monetary consideration. There's another way, and it's about time we got around to it. It's obvious.