What to Call it ...
I understand that the TV networks that have decided to give President Bush's speech tonight live play on their stations are now trying to figure out how they will justify or explain it in their packaging.
You know, what will the Chyron say when the fancy graphics fly on and off the screen going in and out of commercials.
There's no hand-over of sovereignty going on in Iraq, no election about to take place, no trial of Saddam. And as bad as things are in the country, it's really not clearly worse than it has been at various points in the past.
So perhaps CNN and Fox and the rest should package this event around the development it is meant to address? Its actual cause.
How about "Presidency in Crisis"?
"Bush Addresses the Nation: Presidency in Crisis" and then add some flashes and special effects.
President in crisis works for me. Or President can't find a ship to post a large banner saying, Stand by your Man.
June 28, 2005 7:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
How about "Operation Lame Duck"?
June 28, 2005 8:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Well, it certainly won't be "Stay the Course," for the simple reason that there is no course. Cheney's liberation parade got rained out some time ago and things haven't been the same since.
June 28, 2005 8:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
I dunno about the "presidency in crisis" tag. Since when has this presidency NOT been in crisis? IF there were a provision in US law for an elected official to declare political bankruptcy, this would be the time for that. Otherwise, how about "Juggler Runs Out of Arms."
June 28, 2005 8:11 AM | Reply | Permalink
over/under on the term "making progress" - 7
June 28, 2005 8:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
Or:
"The President Addresses the Nation: Catapulting the Propaganda"
June 28, 2005 8:26 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Mess-o-potamia" will still be the headline on the Daily show. Be nice if the CNN's of the world just stole that one.
June 28, 2005 8:30 AM | Reply | Permalink
Malaise II, The President Begs
June 28, 2005 8:33 AM | Reply | Permalink
How about "Mission Accomplished?"
They've never told the truth before, why would they start now?
June 28, 2005 8:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
They should call it, "You're watching a movie on cable, aren't you?" Because... I'll probably skip this and watch a movie on cable.
June 28, 2005 8:34 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'd like to see the talking-head post mortem -- on any network -- feature this Chyron slug: "Has the Emperor Lost His Clothes?"
June 28, 2005 8:41 AM | Reply | Permalink
Guess what I'm going to be watching tonight.
This is the only think the Blazers have been winning lately.
June 28, 2005 8:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
Becasue they can't help but suck up to the President and will therefore perpetuate the myth that Iraq had something to do with 9/11. And any way "War on Terror" is much more exciting than "Quagmire in the Iraq."
Look for video footage of soldiers winning and Iraqi kids going to school in the graphic design as well.
June 28, 2005 8:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
1) Mission Accomplished: Part Deux
2) Occupation Iraq - We got a Plan
3) Insurgents in America: the President Speaks Out
June 28, 2005 8:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
The "War is Peace" speech.
ash
['There's some lumpy parts under the astroturf over there.']
June 28, 2005 9:03 AM | Reply | Permalink
I forgot to mind my <p>'s & q's. So sorry:
The "War is Peace" speech.
ash
['There's some lumpy parts under the astroturf over there.']
June 28, 2005 9:09 AM | Reply | Permalink
Hmm..
How about Operation Impotent Imperialism?
June 28, 2005 9:19 AM | Reply | Permalink
How about "Blame the Democrats." That will undoubtedly be the theme of his speech, after all.
June 28, 2005 9:20 AM | Reply | Permalink
I was thinking "Draft Night", in honor of the empty barrel that the volunteer military has become.
With any luck, Bush's stiriing oratory will be accompanied by a constant scroll of "1. Milwaukee--Andrew Bogut (C) ..."
June 28, 2005 9:43 AM | Reply | Permalink
And don't forget the waving flag behind those letters.
June 28, 2005 9:45 AM | Reply | Permalink
What I'm really expecting is "War on Terror: The Trial of Saddam!" Bush knows that almost 100% of the Amnerican public is glad Saddam has been neutralized, and that a good portion still consider him part of the War on Terror. I think that Bush will possibly play that card tonight.
June 28, 2005 9:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Between Iraq and a Hard Spot" news at 11
June 28, 2005 9:49 AM | Reply | Permalink
"It's Hard Work"
June 28, 2005 9:50 AM | Reply | Permalink
They could use some themes from 30-35 years ago: light at the end of the tunnel? I am not a crook? Something like that.
June 28, 2005 9:58 AM | Reply | Permalink
It should be called...
Iraq: The last throes.
The administration's idealogy defending this the war is in it's "last throes". I am sure we hear all the tired rhetoric about how our nation will perish if we don't support the president. Glory, glory hallelujah...
June 28, 2005 9:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
Light at the end of the tunnel.
June 28, 2005 9:59 AM | Reply | Permalink
Lies, Lies and more Lies
June 28, 2005 10:01 AM | Reply | Permalink
Over under on number of mentions of September 11: 6
June 28, 2005 10:02 AM | Reply | Permalink
Expect to hear him say about a dozen times that Iraq was necessary because of the 9/11 attack. Each time the camera will pan close-up over a dozen different wildly cheering solders.
Rove set the course last week. The idea is to give the Iraqi occupation a transfusion of good red 9/11 blood. We are going to be seeing much more of this from now on. The idea is that the worse things get over there the more correct Bush was to start this occupation to keep them occupied before they could come here. Anyone who says any different is a just a wimp who wants to "understand" the enemy.
June 28, 2005 10:07 AM | Reply | Permalink
"Presidency in its Last Throes"
Time for the drinking game! Extra shots for mention of terrorishtsh and inshurgentsh.
June 28, 2005 10:10 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think that the President's presentation will just be a 30-minute strobe that interposes the signs CLAP HARDER, DISSENT IS TREASONOUS and TRY NEW DIET CHERRY VANILLA DR. PEPPER.
As for a title... it may not be snappy but I like "He Said 'Jump,' We Asked 'How High?'"
June 28, 2005 10:14 AM | Reply | Permalink
Blame the liberals.
Karl Rove gave us the sneak preview of this theme earlier.
June 28, 2005 10:16 AM | Reply | Permalink
Expanding on my own post above, this might be the other shoe dropping. The first was Rove reminding America last week that "liberals" reacted to 9/11 with therapy, etc. Now, Bush will drop the other shoe by announcing the date for the beginning of the trail of Saddam (probably worked out with the Iraqi leader who just visited) and thus try to remind the public how he and the conservatives tough action and brought Saddam to justice. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the way I read this whole episode now.
June 28, 2005 10:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
No, that's going to be the title of the Democratic response.
June 28, 2005 10:17 AM | Reply | Permalink
I wonder if we will ever actually see Saddam put on trial. I read the other day that the Iraqis are pissed 'cause we won't give them access to Saddam. They seem to think we're trying to keep something under wraps. Surely, Saddam will have some interesting stories to tell.
June 28, 2005 10:24 AM | Reply | Permalink
mmmm.... diet cherry vanilla doctor pepper.... *drools*
June 28, 2005 10:35 AM | Reply | Permalink
I've got a furrin film on dvd. If the prospect of Bush getting prime time to do more dress-up and pretend he's a soldier weren't so depressing, I'd post the recipe for sole meunier that I intend to make and the year of the Entre deux meres I intend to have with it.
June 28, 2005 10:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
I think the chirons should read: "To support your favorite American President's Iraq policy, text message 800-555-IDOL."'
And after the speech, we could then have Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson tell him, "You got it GOIN ON, boy!" Maybe snazz things up with a celebrity judge, the bass player for Eart, Wind & Fire, perhaps?
June 28, 2005 10:39 AM | Reply | Permalink
'Bout time they drafted those NRA members.
June 28, 2005 10:48 AM | Reply | Permalink
I'm sure it will be something like:
"brave soldiers here got my back
you're with us or with the terr'ists
9/11
Praise Jesus
freedom is on the march
stay the course
buy stuff or you're the enemy
Hillary Clinton
Saddam
9/11
freedom isn't free
new nucular weapons
Amurka held hostage
Iran, you're next
we will make no distinction between terr'ists and those who harbor terr'ists (except Pakistan or them other 'stans)
Osama bin Laden
Steroids!
patriot act
9/11
homeland security
thousand points of light
Zarqawi
liberals
Hitler
Democrats
Mars!
liberals
Nazis
Jimmy Carter
9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11! 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11!"
See, I've saved you and the transcriptionist lots of time already.
June 28, 2005 11:36 AM | Reply | Permalink
"President tells the nation: 'Ive fallen, and I refuse to get up...'"
June 28, 2005 11:40 AM | Reply | Permalink
He can try the trial of Saddam as another turning-the-corner moment, but I don't think the public will buy it. The American people are wanting an exit-strategy from Iraq; the trial of Saddam is not high on their list of priorities.
June 28, 2005 12:07 PM | Reply | Permalink
Facade Under Siege
Refuge in Patriotism
Miscalculation Accomplished
Mission Under Construction
Inanity Fair
Vanity Fails
Bush's Brain-Fart
Baghdad Bobble
Operation Infinite Smugness
Operation Desert F**ked
The Last Throes Of Hubris
or, taking a different tack,
No Syllable Left Unstressed
Straw Man Slugfest
Nothing To See Here
War on Oratory
Rendezvous With Density
Flop Sweat Tuesday
June 28, 2005 12:12 PM | Reply | Permalink
Hey, another Churchillian Moment! If you want to be seen as a Churchill-guy, you've got to act Churchilly, like have a war with big speeches and "never surrender" kinda stuff. Plus walking aggressively to your helicopter and not taking any guff. Notherwords, aMericans are a people of faith and perseverance and they know what it takes to win a war. Now, there are "those" who would have America surrender to the terrorists, but aMericans are proud, strong, honest people of faith and good will who understand the sacrifices of democracy and freedom. We are a kind, forgiving people but we will always stand tall and resolute against the spreaders of violence and hate, the killers of innocents.
June 28, 2005 12:35 PM | Reply | Permalink
"God Says I'm the Best President Ever."
"Jesus Says Dissenters go to Hell."
"The Rapture is Near."
"Of Course The War Is Worth It As Long As My Friends And I Make Money And No-One We Know Personally Gets Hurt."
"In Lieu of Funeral Attendance."
June 28, 2005 4:56 PM | Reply | Permalink
"President still in denial!"
June 28, 2005 5:30 PM | Reply | Permalink
Nah, you've missed the whole title. It's really:
"We're Winning. Mr. Cheney Says So."
Followed by:
"Flowers and Candy: Mrs. Hughes Returns To D.C."
June 28, 2005 6:16 PM | Reply | Permalink